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Any good jokes out there? Here's one for you!

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Brian_max50

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Posted over 6 years ago

 

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m.

The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and **very** satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!" "I can't remember, exactly...Peter Peter,something or other...."

Brian_max50

279 posts

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Three women all worked in the same office, with the same female
boss. Each day they noticed that the boss would leave work early.
One day, the women decided, that when the boss left, they would
leave right behind her. After all, she never called, or came back to
work, so how would she know they went home early.

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little
gardening, played with her son, and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the
gym before meeting her dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early to suprise her husband. But
when she got to the bedroom,
she heard a muffled noise coming from inside.
Slowly and quietly she cracked open the door, and was mortified to
see
her boss in bed with her husband!

Gently she closed the door, and crept out of the house.

The next day the brunette and the redhead planned on leaving early
again and asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.

"NO WAY," the blonde exclaimed, " I ALMOST GOT CAUGHT YESTERDAY!!!"

063_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Blonde haired cowboy was arrested for indecent exposure when the Sheriff found him walking through the center of town butt naked. During questioning, the cowboy explained, I was in the saloon, and this lady asked me to her room. She took off her blouse and told me to take off my shirt. She took off her skirt, and told me to take off my pants. She took off her bra and told me to take off my t-shirt. She took off her panties, and told me to take off my boxers. Then she laid on the bed and told me, "OK, now go to town".

063_max50

642 posts

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

A young boy comes down for breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores. Not yet, said the boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. He's a little ticked off, so when he feeds the chickens, he kicks a chicken. When he feeds the cows, he kicks a cow. When he feeds the pigs, he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. How come I don't get any eggs and bacon, and why don't I have any milk in my cereal he asks? Well, his mother says, I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week. i saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk. Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The boy looks up at his mother with a smile and says, You gonna tell him or should I.