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Top Ten

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Posted over 9 years ago


Top Ten Reasons You Know You Have Been In Police Work Too Long

You are arresting the sons of the sons of your former arrestees.
You can identify whos a Greyhound Bus passenger by his tooth and tattoo count
You know that "two beers" will be at least a 0.20 BAC (blood alcohol content)
You believe that a permit should be required to be a parent(and you should be the one giving the permits)
You believe that caffeine is a food group
You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a dick
You believe that suicide isn't always the wrong choice
You believe that it is only a "good" death if it involves overtime
You have co-workers that pay more in child support and alimony every month than you make in a year
You think the Captain and Commander are bed wetting liberals

Top Ten Signs You May Need a Vacation

You believe that you may be Clint Eastwoods son (very dirty Harry)
You are starting to develop a crush on one of the transvestite hookers you arrested
You want to transfer to homicide because you think you may be psychic
You talk to dead people
You want to be called "Mr. Majestic", and insist that you were a pimp in your prior life
You think that the police dispatchers are all talking to your ex-wife
You are starting to hate the taste of coffee and donuts
You talk to the arrestees about how they can improve their appreciation of Shakespeare
You think that it is time to tell the Captain that he is a girly man
You want less talk and more music on the police channel

Top Ten Reasons You Have Not Been Promoted

Your breath
Starting every converstion with "You won't believe this S***"
Dumped the Chiefs daughter for a stripper
You just earned your Junior High school diploma
You really enjoy writing tickets to members of the city council
"Tasers are for fun"
Some photos of you with nothing on but your uniform shirt
Continually spitting tobacco while forgetting that the patrol car window is up
Asking your sergeant for hugs
Eating your lunch in the bathroom

Top Ten Reasons That You Need A New Partner

He is wearing a tee shirt that says, "Jesus loves you but the rest of us think are an as#%&%."
He is putting tin foil on top of his head so the Sergeant can't read his thoughts
He wants you to hold him for just a minute
Wearing Brut cologne
Says that Michael Jackson seems like a stand-up guy
Likes Hillarys legs
Loves the jail food
Thinks a "flash bang" is the nickname of the new records clerk
Believes the chief always has your best interests at heart
Calls the dispatcher " Sweet Cheeks" on the radio


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Rate This | Posted over 9 years ago


These are great... I don't know about the crush on the transvestite though:O LOL