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How to Tell Where a Cop Works (Part 1)

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Posted over 1 year ago

 

 How to Tell Where a Cop works:


Narcotics


  • Immediately grow facial hair, tell everybody you were ordered to.

  • Start wearing "Tap Out" t-shirts

  • Start watching every episode of Monster Garage.

  • Buy a biker wallet with a big chain.

  • Practice the "Don't acknowledge me, even while in the police station, look."

  • Thinks even the Chief worships you.

  • Make every case involve overtime $$$.

  • Rates the hotness level of "cranker chicks"

  • Learn to play golf drunk.

SWAT


  • Wear hut-hut team T-shirts (size small- to accent pecs and biceps), Oakley sunglasses and boots every day.

  • Try to fit the word "breach" and "tactical" in to every conversation. (Ex. "I just breached my pants that was so funny!")

  • Have a mirror handy to check hair, if you have hair.

  • Never say hello to anyone who is not a SWAT operator, just practice your SWAT head nod.

  • Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune, Guns and Ammo and Muscle and Fitness magazines.

  • Learn to play golf wearing a gun, a tactical knife and a back-up gun (just in case)

Community Service Units


  • Hate SWAT.

  • Work to make everybody love you.

  • Paint your office in pastel colors.

  • Think Feng Shui.

  • Subscribe to Psychology Today.

  • Learn to play miniature golf.


My signature? You couldn't read my chicken scratch so I don't need no sig..

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Rated +1 | Posted over 1 year ago

 

 (More SWAT stuff...)


  • Will do shoulder presses with the team's heaviest shield to get a quick set in.

  • Walk around in uniform with a thigh rig when everyone else in uniform wears a belt rig.

  • Show up on regular calls with flashbangs stuck in their belt.

  • Generally wear black t-shirts under their regular uniform... the quiet reminder that "I AM SWAT".

  • Half a dozen SWAT t-shirts in their locker from other teams and agencies.

  • Are the only guys working that have MRE's in their war bag for regular work.


The Guy !
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Honoring the Fallen

Att179311_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 1 year ago

 

Don't know any cops that play golf


 

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Rate This | Posted about 1 year ago

 

is there a part two?


 


 


 


 


'

Bronzestarribbon_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 1 year ago

 

The SWAT stuff is so true around my agency, except we all wear black T-Shirts under our uniforms. 


CSI:


Wear a lab coat around the LEC


Show up to Detective briefings with the latest changes from the state lab on evidence submission and case updates


Conduct roll call training sessions on evidence collection


Always able to produce a camera as quick as a weapon for immediate documentation


Explain to the victim that I won't have DNA, Latent or blood results in an hour like the TV show.


When explaining something to someone else, fighting the urge to draw a diagram with boorish details


Have lap top will travel! 


 

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Rate This | Posted about 1 year ago

 

Worked Vice,Narcotics,Intelligence and Gangs.Loved to grow long hair,beard and insane clothes and drive whatever we wanted.Yep,we had an attitude


Worked Community Relations.We were looked upon as lazy dweebs,did the job anyway and were respected by the public like no other crew.


Worked Detective Bureau(C.I.B.) Dull,drab,boring and always had our work double and tripple checked,as though we weren't trusted.


Played golf in the Army,got to be pretty fair.Most golf players in the Cop Shop were A$$ kissers.Didn't think to much of these indiuviduals.Usually had the I.Q. of a rock


Worked S.S.U.,Fantastic 30 day temp duty where you never knew what you were assigned to till roll call.Loved working under the covers,,,,Woops ,that's under cover.


Selective Enforcement was the finest spot on the job.A great deal of intense training and dealt with the power people from the city ,county,state and Feds.


Cruiser Patrol.A gang of fantastic people where I worked the majority of my career.Weren't a gang of glory seekers,saw what had to be done and did it .

Wredcedar_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 1 year ago

 

csiguy says ...



The SWAT stuff is so true around my agency, except we all wear black T-Shirts under our uniforms. 


CSI:


Wear a lab coat around the LEC


Show up to Detective briefings with the latest changes from the state lab on evidence submission and case updates


Conduct roll call training sessions on evidence collection


Always able to produce a camera as quick as a weapon for immediate documentation


Explain to the victim that I won't have DNA, Latent or blood results in an hour like the TV show.


When explaining something to someone else, fighting the urge to draw a diagram with boorish details


Have lap top will travel! 


 



note that you are called CSI in homage to the TV show, prior to that we would just request a "lab" when we needed someing at a crime scene that we couldn't do ourselves.

Bronzestarribbon_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 1 year ago

 

Cedardale says ...



csiguy says ...



The SWAT stuff is so true around my agency, except we all wear black T-Shirts under our uniforms. 


CSI:


Wear a lab coat around the LEC


Show up to Detective briefings with the latest changes from the state lab on evidence submission and case updates


Conduct roll call training sessions on evidence collection


Always able to produce a camera as quick as a weapon for immediate documentation


Explain to the victim that I won't have DNA, Latent or blood results in an hour like the TV show.


When explaining something to someone else, fighting the urge to draw a diagram with boorish details


Have lap top will travel! 


 



note that you are called CSI in homage to the TV show, prior to that we would just request a "lab" when we needed someing at a crime scene that we couldn't do ourselves.



Yeah, I was CSI when CSI wasn't cool.  In the military we were  just the photo jockey's and some places call them the ID section.  What's in a name?  Doing the job is not about what we wear or what our title is, its about loving what we do.  it's been neat to read these though, keep em coming...

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TheSarge says ...



 (More SWAT stuff...)


  • Will do shoulder presses with the team's heaviest shield to get a quick set in.

  • Walk around in uniform with a thigh rig when everyone else in uniform wears a belt rig.

  • Show up on regular calls with flashbangs stuck in their belt.

  • Generally wear black t-shirts under their regular uniform... the quiet reminder that "I AM SWAT".

  • Half a dozen SWAT t-shirts in their locker from other teams and agencies.

  • Are the only guys working that have MRE's in their war bag for regular work.


This is soooo true around here.  I've been SRT for years but some of my guys take this stuff to the extreme