Group Forums >> COP HUMOR >> What not to say when you get pulled over

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What not to say when you get pulled over

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Police_bear_max50

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Posted about 1 year ago

 

20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer (OK in Texas).


19. Sorry, Officer, but I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.


18. Hey, you must've been doin' at least 120 to keep up with me. Good Job!


17. You're not gonna check the trunk are you?


16. You need to see my license? Here you go....Whoops! that's the fake one,...here try this one, I think this one's legit.


15. Did you pull me over for the stolen gun under the seat, or the drugs in the glovebox, or the body in the trunk? Or was it just for the burned out tail-light?


14. My gun fell off my lap and got lodged under the gas pedal.


13. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 Magnum!


12. Do you have any idea of how much of a hurry I'm in?


11. You're lucky this car needs a tune-up or you'd have never caught up to me.


10. I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to be a police officer.


9. Aren't there real crooks somewhere you should be catching?


8. Just had to try out that new siren, didn't you?


7. Do you have any idea who you're talking to?


6. There's no way I was going 85, I had the cruise set at 80.


5. Waz wrong, Ossifer? I swear to drunk, I'm not God! And really, there's no blood in my alcohol....BURP!


4. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.


3. That uniform makes your butt look really big.


2. I have to pay a hundred dollar fine?.... Well, here, hold out your hand, I think George Washington can change your mind.


1. Can you come back in 5 minutes? I'm in the middle of a telephone conversation.


 


 


 


 

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Female_bodysurfer_max50

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I love 12.  I bet it gets said all the time!



 

Caduceus_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 1 year ago

 

Really good, and don't forget the:, "I've only had three beers" :-)


Doc


Quis custodiet ipsos custodes.
Troll Hunter, "Doc", LEO Supporter.
It's not the falling down, it's the staying down.

Female_bodysurfer_max50

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Att179311_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 1 year ago

 

What not to do;


When getting pulled over don't dive out of the car and lowcrawl to the back and yell god I glad you stopped him to the leo.

25-1-13-a_1__max50

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Rated +1 | Posted about 1 year ago

 

Badgehunter says ...



20-2 .....EDITED.....


1. Can you come back in 5 minutes? I'm in the middle of a telephone conversation. 



Some years ago, one of my partners and his wife were preparing for their upcoming wedding.  While driving home, she was stopped by an officer for talking on her cell phone and subsequently received the appropriate citation.  She decided (for some unknown reason to fight it in court.  When her name came up on the calendar, she and the officer took their positions at the counsel table and as is customary, the officer starts and describes his observations that led to the traffic stop.


"As the vehicle passed, I observed the driver to have her cell phone placed to her right ear.  I also observed her lips moving, indicating that she was talking on the phone."


He continued and described her actions as he approached the vehicle and attempted to make contact with her.


"As I approached the vehicle, the defendant continued to talk on her cell phone as if I wasn't there.  When I tapped on the window to get her attention, she not once, but twice held up the index finger of her left hand as if to tell me that her phone call was more important than talking to me regarding the traffic stop."


The judge winced, removed his glasses as he looked at her and asked,


"Did you really do that?"


Her response was:


"Well, at the time,  I was talking to a wedding planner about a problem regarding my upcoming wedding and thought it was, but now that I hear him describe it, I guess it wasn't."


(Insert courtroom laughter)


Judge found her guilty.

25-1-13-a_1__max50

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Rate This | Posted about 1 year ago

 

ssu459 says ...



.....EDITED.....


"I pay your salary"


.....EDITED.....



Next time Dave, hand the person a dime and say, "This ought to cover your contribution for the year.  Consider it an early refund."

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+3

Rated +3 | Posted about 1 year ago

 

#7 I stopped a guy and he said "Do you know who I am?" I replied no, but when you hand me your license I will.

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Rated +1 | Posted about 1 year ago

 

People tried to con their way out of a ticket many times. When the drop a name I say call them, right now. When they ask if I give tickets to military, I say show me your military ID card.

Img_1828_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 1 year ago

 

 Awesome. 


That and..."Why the F***K DID YOU STOP ME!??"


or the ones who don't roll down their windows, and stare at you through the window like you're the one with the problem. Guaranteed way to get a ticket or go to jail. 


lol 


 

560477_373472692734968_251135309_n_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 1 year ago

 

This brings back some memories of working patrol while I was stationed in Oki..as many of you know I was a Marine MP..so it makes for the people we are dealing with more interesting then civilians some times....my two "favorit" replies to stops are #1 Dependants...these civilan dependants are there own breed of stupid (don't get me wrong I don't have a problem with dependants) but the ones who when you pull them over ask you "Do you know who my husband is?" my reply was always "No ma'am I don't know know who your husband is but he was not the one I pulled over you are." #2 The higher ranks. Now normally the elisted are not bad. Its the higher ranking Officer side that think there rank out ways the authority behind the badge..Mind you we a Federal LEOs and on top of that are giving the authority by the CG (commanding general) of the base to enforce not only the UCMJ (uniform code of military justace) but also local state, city laws as well as the CGs regulations for that base. So with all that being said a few times I had a full bird Col. or any other higher officer shouting and screaming at me before I even reached the driver door "Im Col so and so" to which I always replied with first a salute then saying "And I am LCpl Hawkins, now that we have established that the reason I stoped you was for (enter violation here lol) may I see you DL, Military ID, insurance and veh registration." Which by the way, they ALWAYS hated. by the time I could finally get them to sign the ticket they would be wanting to know who my watch commander was and there number. So Id always kindly give them my name, badge number, supps name and the number for the desk. The GySgt would call me back to PMO ask why the Sir was calling and pissed, it explain hed get a good laugh and send me back to patrol (the gunny was the best, hed been a civ LEO before comming back into the Marines and he always loved these kinds of complaints and always had his MPs backs and informing the hot and headed callers that the MPs had done there job correctly and respectfully.

Imagesca9t39km_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted about 1 year ago

 

State trooper pulled me over one morning was taking my son fishing, and I was speeding! The trooper looked at my license and insurance and asked "Sir have your ever been stopped for speeding" before I could answer truthly "no" my twelve year old son yells "YES!" .   And you said you loved Daddy...

Bronzestarribbon_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted about 1 year ago

 

Tank117 says ...

This brings back some memories of working patrol while I was stationed in Oki..as many of you know I was a Marine MP..so it makes for the people we are dealing with more interesting then civilians some times....my two "favorit" replies to stops are #1 Dependants...these civilan dependants are there own breed of stupid (don't get me wrong I don't have a problem with dependants) but the ones who when you pull them over ask you "Do you know who my husband is?" my reply was always "No ma'am I don't know know who your husband is but he was not the one I pulled over you are." #2 The higher ranks. Now normally the elisted are not bad. Its the higher ranking Officer side that think there rank out ways the authority behind the badge..Mind you we a Federal LEOs and on top of that are giving the authority by the CG (commanding general) of the base to enforce not only the UCMJ (uniform code of military justace) but also local state, city laws as well as the CGs regulations for that base. So with all that being said a few times I had a full bird Col. or any other higher officer shouting and screaming at me before I even reached the driver door "Im Col so and so" to which I always replied with first a salute then saying "And I am LCpl Hawkins, now that we have established that the reason I stoped you was for (enter violation here lol) may I see you DL, Military ID, insurance and veh registration." Which by the way, they ALWAYS hated. by the time I could finally get them to sign the ticket they would be wanting to know who my watch commander was and there number. So Id always kindly give them my name, badge number, supps name and the number for the desk. The GySgt would call me back to PMO ask why the Sir was calling and pissed, it explain hed get a good laugh and send me back to patrol (the gunny was the best, hed been a civ LEO before comming back into the Marines and he always loved these kinds of complaints and always had his MPs backs and informing the hot and headed callers that the MPs had done there job correctly and respectfully.



I remember those days and miss them from time to time. My favorite response whether stopping them or being pulled aside on scene as I'm working and being told you can't do that. I responded with Sir, I just did, Please don't confuse your rank with my authority, I would salute and kick them off of my crime scene. I had good patrol suppes that would have my back and that really made it nice...