I am about to retire after serving 40 years. I lost not only a coworker for all that time but my best friend. He died of cancer. Smoked all his life. I don't.

I tried to get him to quit along with his wife and son. After his diagnosis, it was downhill. At the end I just prayed for the pain to stop. You know what I mean. How  do you wish your best friend dead? Suffering is the key. No  one should have to. I sat there crying thinking of all the stories we had over the years, all  the calls. He was the finest cop I ever had the privilege of knowing.

Every shift I would mark on-duty, head to  the cemetery, give him an update and call the roll. I will  miss him until the day I die.

That is how I deal with it, ... by never forgetting.

My Condolences on the loss of your best friend, also!! It's never easy to lose someone close to you!!

Those Memories you have, will keep them alive! That's worked for me for several years in reference to my own loss. We're here for ya Brother, anytime!!

My heart goes out to you.  I am also grappling with grief.  My friend, you didn't wish your friend to die.  You prayed for the pain to stop.  Sometimes they are the same thing, but dying was never in your hands.  That is the hard part.  We can't stop Death.  We can only pray for relief.  God knows this and so did your friend. Your prayers helped your friend pass because, inside, he knew you were with him as far as you could go.  You walked with him at the close of the circle of life.  He went the rest of the way by himself.  He closed the Circle knowing you love him.  He was never alone. That is the best thing one human being can give another.

You are a good man and a good friend.  You made your friend's life happy.  You gave each other laughter.

A man is lucky to have a friend like you.

PM me anytime, My Dear Friend.

My condolences on the loss of your best friend. Keep the memories alive forever.

Al,

I can't begin to comprehend how sad you must be feeling over the loss of your best friend and partner.  My heart goes out to you. 

Please know the reason I'm posting this, is to let you know you're not alone and that you have my full support.

Although I only know you from this site, I've observed that you're a very wise, strong yet calm collected person. I'm sure those qualities will be of immense help at this time. 

Maybe, when you're up to it, you would like to share some cool things about your partner and friend?  If that seems like an imposition please disregard and my apologies.

Do not hesitate to PM at anyday-anytime.  Hang in there Al.

~LonnaNJ

I can see your pain.  Losing a family member, whic his what a LE partner is, is one of the toughest things we will ever have to go through.  I will say a prayer for you and your partner.  Stay safe Brother.

ahahaha I LOVE this story!!!

My condolences to his family and yourself. I know what its like to lose someone you care about.  Just recently lost one of my own in a shooting. He was shot and killed doing his job. Really sad !! Very young person and left  behind his newly wedded wife and two very young kids.  He was a great Sergeant and a wonderful person. Its very hard to deal with something like that, but we have counselors that we can talk to and i think it helps.  Maybe you should try that.  RIP Sgt. Michael Valentin!!!

 

First off, congrats on your retirement - and thank you for your long years of public service.

Secondly, sincere condolences to you, the agency, and your co-worker's remaining family and friends on your loss. You will always have a part of you missing as you continue on through life, though it's important not to ignore the impact your friend has had on you and others, even as you resume the busy pace of everyday routines.

I lost my sister to cancer over 7yrs ago, at the age of 42...seeing her suffer in pain and waste away down to 50-something pounds during the final weeks, while lying in a hospital bed in the old bedroom where she had grown up, was overwhelming spiritually & emotionally for our small, close-knit family. You don't want a loved one to ever be taken in the prime of life, but you cannot fathom the agony and suffering they are having to endure from such a horrible disease, so you fervently pray they don't continue to suffer. It definitely leaves an already heavy heart with feelings of guilt for just thinking in such a way, I know...you cannot let that feeling consume you, though. If you remember and continue to share the great times and the little things that made your old partner such a wonderful part of your life, then he will always be with you...and you can bet he hears when you talk to him and let him know he is missed.

Godspeed, Lewis - until your family & friends meet you again..