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Dealing with insults

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Posted about 2 years ago

 

Good Afternoon my friends,


How do you deal with an individual who is compliant, but calls you insulting names while answering your questions? Just curious how you would handle the situation.


Stay safe.

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Don't axe anymore questions.

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Rated +1 | Posted about 2 years ago

 

Insults are only effective if you let them influence you.  Words are just words, ignore the ignorant comments and continue with your work process.  Be sure to document all of the comments in your arrest report, or audiotape the questioning process so that you have a record of how the subject was behaving.


"Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected."
Steve Jobs

Retleo (MODERATOR #8)
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Ok. Thanks for the info

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Tell them "I've been called worse by a better class of people!" No, wait. Not a good idea!!!  (lol)


Like Retleo said, record the questioning process. And for the most part, ignore their insults. They are just trying to lower you to their level. Stay professional.


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Rate This | Posted about 2 years ago

 

In our world, words don't carry as much weight as actions....sometimes.


So, if a person you have in custody excudes a stream of verbal palaver, it is not as strong as you having the last action.


If they have the last word (and it doesn't cross over into some criminal incriminations), then as long as you have the last actioin, it doesn't matter.


They can say whatever they want, but if they do what you say, then everything is cool.


Insults, swearing and loose talk is just an indicator of something else going on with their lives.


I see these kinds of things as more or less symtomatic of bigger personal issues. When a person coughs  a lot, then they might have a cold or allergies.If someone has a  fever, then someone might have an infecrtion.


If someone talks or insults a lot during an arrest, the may be trying to save face. I can let them save face without losing anything in my case or arrest.


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Rate This | Posted about 2 years ago

 

TheSarge says ...



If someone talks or insults a lot during an arrest, the may be trying to save face. I can let them save face without losing anything in my case or arrest.



 


So just let them blather on if it makes them feel better, right? Could you explain what you mean by "last action"?

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Sure.


The last action is actually what the person in my custody is going to do when directed by me: "Get on the ground. Put your hands behind your head (or back). Stop resisting. Just do what I tell you what to do."


The last action is getting the job done. The person may be having a tirade, yelling or just cutting lose with profanities that would make a sailor blush. No matter to me. Saving face is probably the most important thing to a person in custody. They need to let their peeps and friends know that they are cool, that The Pigs aren't gonna get them down or whatever. It's the 'little show' they put on to show they they ain't going easy and are not going to be embarrassed by the cops.


Still, no matter to me. As long as I get them to jail without much to-do, it's fine. It's when they fight, resist or otherwise don't 'submit to my legal authority' that things get difficult.


Yell all you want, just do what I need you to do. Pretty simple really. Pretty difficult for a drunk or an under the influence person to process however.


Very short story: I once whispered to a guy that I was going to arrest him for so-n-so but I wasn't going to do it in front of his small children. He understood completely. He told his kids while I was there that we were going to take care of something important and we walked out together. We did. And around the corner he submitted to handcuffs while I transported him to jail. While enroute, he thanked me profusely for not embarassing him in front of his kids. I took the position that if I handcuffed him with his kids there, they would not ever ever forget it. I didn't want that to happen on behalf of the kids. Everything turned out fine. A little respect, a little cooperation and a lot of command presence tempered with compassion goes a long way.


Oh another note: Go Giants !!!


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Rate This | Posted about 2 years ago

 

Nice play there. Sometimes a little subtlety IS what you need. Thanks for clarifying.


Quick question: Have you ever seen an officer's size become a problem during an arrest? I'm not a large guy, quite small and lean actually, and I always wonder how I will be able to muscle wrestle a struggling suspect if they're twice my size (most everyone).


Stay frosty Sarge.

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Always Water on a Ducks back


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tomcatphntm says ...



Nice play there. Sometimes a little subtlety IS what you need. Thanks for clarifying.


Quick question: Have you ever seen an officer's size become a problem during an arrest? I'm not a large guy, quite small and lean actually, and I always wonder how I will be able to muscle wrestle a struggling suspect if they're twice my size (most everyone).


Stay frosty Sarge.


 


+++++++++++++++++++++


Physical size should not matter. It's the size of the cop 'inside' that does.


I had a female beat partner who was at least 4-5 inches shorter than me. You wouldn't know it by the way she handled people. She was a beautiful gal, sharp as a tack and immensely quick witted. If you are a shrinking violet, cop work is not for you. You have to have a certain centainty to your persona that compels people to go with the program. This gal just told people how things were going to go without apology and went about her business professionally. Of course, in our jurisdiction, a backup officer was generally about 30 seconds away. Still, in spite of that, she could finesse people into cuffs and the back of a car as good as any knuckle-dragger.


Now, being over 6 foot tall and as wide doesn't hurt. Another beat partner I had had biceps as big as a regular guys thighs. People would regularly try to maybe go toe-to-toe with him. Before the donnybrook would begin, he would simply point to his arms and ask, "You want some of this?" Most of the time people didn't. For the few that wanted a ride on his tree-like arms, the confrontation usualy ended quickly.


I wouldn't worry too much about your ability to fight or deal with the physicality of our work. You will find out if this kind of work is for you in the Academy.


Lastly, there is no such thing as 'contempt of cop'. Your peace as an officer cannot be disturbed. You cannot arrest someone because they do not like you or because they are yelling bad words at you. A little legalese there. Another PL cop can elaborate.



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Rate This | Posted about 2 years ago

 

TheSarge says ...



tomcatphntm says ...



Nice play there. Sometimes a little subtlety IS what you need. Thanks for clarifying.


Quick question: Have you ever seen an officer's size become a problem during an arrest? I'm not a large guy, quite small and lean actually, and I always wonder how I will be able to muscle wrestle a struggling suspect if they're twice my size (most everyone).


Stay frosty Sarge.


 


+++++++++++++++++++++


Physical size should not matter. It's the size of the cop 'inside' that does.


I had a female beat partner who was at least 4-5 inches shorter than me. You wouldn't know it by the way she handled people. She was a beautiful gal, sharp as a tack and immensely quick witted. If you are a shrinking violet, cop work is not for you. You have to have a certain centainty to your persona that compels people to go with the program. This gal just told people how things were going to go without apology and went about her business professionally. Of course, in our jurisdiction, a backup officer was generally about 30 seconds away. Still, in spite of that, she could finesse people into cuffs and the back of a car as good as any knuckle-dragger.


Now, being over 6 foot tall and as wide doesn't hurt. Another beat partner I had had biceps as big as a regular guys thighs. People would regularly try to maybe go toe-to-toe with him. Before the donnybrook would begin, he would simply point to his arms and ask, "You want some of this?" Most of the time people didn't. For the few that wanted a ride on his tree-like arms, the confrontation usualy ended quickly.


I wouldn't worry too much about your ability to fight or deal with the physicality of our work. You will find out if this kind of work is for you in the Academy.


Lastly, there is no such thing as 'contempt of cop'. Your peace as an officer cannot be disturbed. You cannot arrest someone because they do not like you or because they are yelling bad words at you. A little legalese there. Another PL cop can elaborate.


++++++++++++++++++++++++



Bump The Sarge


The confidence the officer shows goes a long way. I'm 6'1" and about 260 and confident in my attitude. I don't have many issues in the jail where I work. On the other hand, I work with a lady who is 4'-9". Her attitude enables her to face down inmates many times her size. Many of them fear her and want to stay on her good side.


Two different people...different body types... same attitude... same result.


Confidence, not arrogance.

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Rate This | Posted about 2 years ago

 

People insulting and swearing at officers occurs frequently on traffic stops.In the town I worked there was a LARGE area on the back of the officer's copy of the citation,marked"drivers comments".I took advantage of this to allow the driver to bury hyimself/herself,in court.I  one time advised a driver that his comments wold be recorded on the reverse of my citation and that the judge read them.His less than intelligent response was,"Good ,you can tell the judge to go F--k himself".The good judge did ,of course read it ands Surprise,the defendant was found guilty.Oops,the judge was a female.

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ssu459 says ...



People insulting and swearing at officers occurs frequently on traffic stops.In the town I worked there was a LARGE area on the back of the officer's copy of the citation,marked"drivers comments".I took advantage of this to allow the driver to bury hyimself/herself,in court.I  one time advised a driver that his comments wold be recorded on the reverse of my citation and that the judge read them.His less than intelligent response was,"Good ,you can tell the judge to go F--k himself".The good judge did ,of course read it ands Surprise,the defendant was found guilty.Oops,the judge was a female.


 


+++++++++++++++++++++++++


Now THAT's phunny right there. Almost sounds like an edgey episode of 'Lucy'.



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Rate This | Posted about 2 years ago

 

Thanks for all of the replys, great information. I like that "driver's comments" box; do all citation papers have those, or does it depend on the department?


I find that my confidence level reflects my experience in whatever I am dealing with. Is that something that would look bad to a department?

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Rate This | Posted about 2 years ago

 

Bump to all responses. For the OP, if you want to be road-ready, go work at the County jail or prison. In there, you'll be call all sorts of names and see how you handle it. Chances are, the people you deal with there will be the same ones you'll see on the road. 


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tomcatphntm says ...



Thanks for all of the replys, great information. I like that "driver's comments" box; do all citation papers have those, or does it depend on the department?


I find that my confidence level reflects my experience in whatever I am dealing with. Is that something that would look bad to a department?



There is always a spot for officer comments which can and of course WILL include any incriminating statements made by the offender. Even on our new "E-citations" there is a comments section. It proves to be an excellent tool.


Confidence, not arrogance as someone has stated earlier is also a tool. I am 5'9" and 190 lbs. Not big by any means however how one carries oneself into a given situation says a lot on how the situation is going to turn out. I will caution you on one thing, if you are confident enough to run your mouth at someone you need to be able to back it up because there is ALWAYS going to be that one guy who does not comprehend what you are attempting to get across. Good luck.


You can't cure stupid.

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ajsdaddyCCSO says ...



I will caution you on one thing, if you are confident enough to run your mouth at someone you need to be able to back it up...


 



Could you explain this a little please? Are you saying that I was running my mouth earlier? If I was I apologize.

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Rated +1 | Posted about 2 years ago

 

As a female officer you know what the favorite insult thrown as me was, YOU BI--H !!! My standard response has always been , That's Ms. B to you ! "  Usually stone silence followed !!!


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Rate This | Posted about 2 years ago

 

Empty threats are meaningless to a officer who is confident in his skills and abilities.

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tomcatphntm says ...



ajsdaddyCCSO says ...



I will caution you on one thing, if you are confident enough to run your mouth at someone you need to be able to back it up...


 



Could you explain this a little please? Are you saying that I was running my mouth earlier? If I was I apologize.



No. That's not what I was saying. We cannot run our mouths in here, no voicechat. Once you put on the uniform and you promise to do something to someone in order to gain their attention you had better be able to back it up because trust me, just telling someone they are under arrest is not enough. Another reason to always carry your Maglight.


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Rate This | Posted about 2 years ago

 

 Bump ajsdaddyCCSO. I do not take the idea of those who would do physical violence against me lightly. There are people who will struggle physically when you attempt to handcuff them and the only sure way not to get your a@s kicked is to have continuous training in defensive tactics.

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Ah ok. Does the academy adequatly prepare you for a struggling suspect, or will more training follow graduation for this situation? I mean, one is ALWAYS training, but yeah.

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 As a recruit in the academy you learn to control combative suspects by using wrist locks and joint control. DT is part of in-service training.

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MaxVirtus says ...



DT is part of in-service training.



DT as in...Defensive Training...or is that something else?

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tomcatphntm says ...



MaxVirtus says ...



DT is part of in-service training.



DT as in...Defensive Training...or is that something else?


 


DT= Defensive Tactics



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Ah ok.

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Many of the calls I respond to are disputes that turn physical and result in either a fight or a reported battery.  When separated, the incident usually comes down to one party calling the other party a name or body part or some similar insult that results in the incident being investigated.  The party then proceeds to tell me that the comment or reference made by the other party made them angry and use this as their justification for their response.  When I tell them that they can't respond that way and not face the appropriate consequences or the possibility of appropriate consequence, I am asked, "Well what would you do if you were called (insert defaming word or insult)?"  As others have mentioned, we are called a lot of things as are our family members.  If we respond in a negative way, they own us.  We will be accused of responding in a negative way, even if we didn't,  We carry voice recorders and many agencies have dash cams that record video and audio of traffic stops.  Why?  Among other reasons, to catch who the liar is, but that's a whole other topic.


Back to the question:  What would I do if called (insert defaming word or insult)?  I refer to what I tell the people mentioned in the above investigation example.  I ask them, "You were called a (insert defaming word or insult)?"  They answer, "Yes."  I ask them, "Well, are you?"  More often than not, the answer they give is, "No."  So I ask the follow-up question...... "Then why respond to it?" and explain to them that getting mad, insulted, angry and responding to it by fighting, hitting or otherwise responding to or retaliating against the person in a negative way is a choice that they made which can carry its own consequences.


As an aspiring LEO, you will be called many things and you will likely want to respond in the negative, either by resorting to a verbal exchange or even getting yourself in a physical exchange with said offender.   Neither are a good choice if you like your job and want to stay out of the Sgt's or Lt's office.  So when you are called (insert defaming word or insult)....... ask yourself, "Are you?" what they are calling you?

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I just look at them with a great big smile.  I know I am going to win in the long run.  I wear a body camera and record everything.


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Some academies teach this great course, some do not. I recommend it. VERBAL JUDO by Dr. George Thompson.


I have seen too many officers lose their composure over mere words. Their encounters go downhill from there because they lose control of themselves and their emotions. We must always exude PROFESSIONALISM AND CHARACTER. 


""Life is a storm.. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes"
Alexander Dumas-The Count of Monte Christo

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