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My three boys

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Posted about 3 years ago

 

Kinda sad today,I have three nephews  who have been living with me and my wife for almost five months.They came to live with us last summer because there father was taking a job that required him to be away from home for long periods of time and hes is a well how to put it litely not very fatherly....The mother died less than a year ago of cancer and the father was not working at the time and they where living off social security.Well he decided one day that he wanted to go back to work again and it would be away from home.So we volunteer to take the boys two twins age eleven and the younger nine to come live with us in Tallahassee about two hundred miles from there home BIG CHANGE for all of us..lol. We have kids of are own me two boys eleven and seven hers twenty and fourteen. So we get them settled in and found out these guys are wild.Example they would argue with each other and the adults, use profanity,make a mess and leave it,fight with kids at the bus stop,one stole the neighbors bicycle,and they  lie a lot...Well it took a lot of time and understanding to get these kids straighten out and doing what there suppose to be doing and it was not easy but very rewarding. I found that the twins are very gifted one is excellent at flag football the other is an artist,the little one well he is kinda all over the place but a great bunch of kids! Well the reason I wrote this is there going home soon the father decided he wants to live on social security again and in a couple weeks there going back. I will say there have been times I wished these kids gone other times I find myself watch them with a smile.They have been an interesting chapter in my life I just hope what little we taught them sticks and they do not go back to there old ways.. I will miss them..   thanks for reading.

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Rated +1 | Posted about 3 years ago

 

Maybe they will take the good lessons home with them. Keep in touch with them, sounds like they needed your stability.


PL's Mamacat

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

Sounds like you have a good heart, just remember you are still their uncle and they need family.

Boat_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

Big Hugs.... many times I have considered becoming a foster mom but coward back for this very reason... you and your wife stepped in when they needed you the most as hard as it is to watch them go the impact you have placed in their young lives will indeed last a lifetime..and go with them.. taking on that extra responsibility was a noble thing to do not only for the children in a time of need but also for the deceased mother..i'm sorry for your loss with these children but I am certain they have gained a lot probably more then what you have realized one day when they are older they will return if nothing else just to say thank you... there is nothing noone on this forum can say to make it easier for your family but I personally commend you and your wife for doing what you felt needed to be done, there is no greater  gift then the love and admiration of a child whether they are yours by blood or yours by love.....


In Life we should experience an adventure that will create a memory worth repeating.....unknown.....

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

Tallgov,you did your best ,brother.Let's hope and pray they retain some if not all the lessons you taught them.Not everybody would have done what you did.You have displayed to all that this is what MANhood is all about and I'm proud to be your friend.If nobody ever thanks you ,consider this a big thanks from me........Dave

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Rated +1 | Posted about 3 years ago

 

Might I also add that fate30 is also a loving,giving ,wise caregiver and will also some day reap  rewards for her toil which we mere mortals do not yet understand.That is not just idle prattle,but from my #1 leader. 

Att2307142_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

you may have very well saved these children's lives. how awful to lose their mother. they  may have been acting out because of their loss.

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

They are very lucky to have you. Hopefully they will pay it forward. Good luck to them. I sincerely hope everything goes well for them. They have been through a lot. They will be better people because of you.

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

God bless you and your family for opening your home and your heart to these children. Hopefully, your nephews will take back with them some of what you have shown them. Also, I hope your children will see the importance of family and compassion as well. I strive everyday to have my children embrace life. Great job!

In_remembrance_of_oakland_pd_max50_max50_max50_max50_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

You and your wife have done a great service to these kids. Hope that they will retain what you taught them. Remain a part of their lives, sounds like they could use it.

Cat-in-santa-hat_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

ssu459 says ...



Tallgov,you did your best ,brother.Let's hope and pray they retain some if not all the lessons you taught them.Not everybody would have done what you did.You have displayed to all that this is what MANhood is all about and I'm proud to be your friend.If nobody ever thanks you ,consider this a big thanks from me........Dave


 


bUMp!  Very well said!



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Nqdz7m_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

What a gift you are to the boys!  They have been fighting an uphill battle just to survive. From the looks of it -  the boys have been raising themselves for quite a while.  I think you chose the perfect word - wild.  Uncivilized.


Six months is not long enough time to "civilize" such boys. They have reached the age where they must decide to let you "tame" them.  It was already beginning, from what you say.


Six months was not long enough to offset the load of grief and neglect your nephews have suffered.  But it is enough to let them glimpse the alternative to a life of deprivation they can't understand.  Children don't want to think they are the ones in charge.  It terrifies them.  They might have fought you, and tested you in every way, because they really wanted to know if you would hold strong and keep them safe.  They wanted to know if you have The Right Stuff.  And you DO!


Forgive my presumption, but I urge you and your wife to talk to your brother about formal adoption.  From what I see in your letter, you both have the emotional stamina it takes.  The road will be rough.  But something about your letter tells me you can do it.  Maybe your brother might feel the same way.

John_groh_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

I'm sure they will miss you and your family as well.  Hopefully, they will stay on the right path that you have directed them too.  My thoughts are with you and your family.

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

MarlyB says ...



What a gift you are to the boys!  They have been fighting an uphill battle just to survive. From the looks of it -  the boys have been raising themselves for quite a while.  I think you chose the perfect word - wild.  Uncivilized.


Six months is not long enough time to "civilize" such boys. They have reached the age where they must decide to let you "tame" them.  It was already beginning, from what you say.


Six months was not long enough to offset the load of grief and neglect your nephews have suffered.  But it is enough to let them glimpse the alternative to a life of deprivation they can't understand.  Children don't want to think they are the ones in charge.  It terrifies them.  They might have fought you, and tested you in every way, because they really wanted to know if you would hold strong and keep them safe.  They wanted to know if you have The Right Stuff.  And you DO!


Forgive my presumption, but I urge you and your wife to talk to your brother about formal adoption.  From what I see in your letter, you both have the emotional stamina it takes.  The road will be rough.  But something about your letter tells me you can do it.  Maybe your brother might feel the same way.



Bump!  Correction its her brother, and yes we are talking with him and exploring all possibilities.

Nqdz7m_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

I'm glad!  If anybody can turn these three children's lives around - IT'S YOU TWO!  

Angel_summer_2014_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

Tallgov, Bless your heart, and yes please stay in their lives, they will continue to need their Uncle, you have touched their lives.


"It's Never To Late To Be What You Could Have Been"

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

 They are very lucky to have an uncle like you. You have a great and big heart.

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Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

Thanks for your comments everybody,I will stay in touch with them on a positive note my wife's sister and husband are moving up close to where they live so that will be good.

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

I thought I would update this the children left today there father came erand got them...he didnt even say hello to them are nothing one asked him three times while he txed on his phone could they get a pizza when they got home he finally looked up and said maybe  later....  its real sad when fathers ignore there children and this one has prove to me that his life is more important than anything else..well there gone and I miss them the house is so quiet I caught myself walking down to there room when I finished cooking dinner wow  tear jerker..

Sparkle_girl_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

You guys have been a blessing to these boys. Taking them in with the kids you all have, had to be tough. Seems like you took in tigers and made kittens out of them. May God bless you and them..and hopefully what you all taught them will have a huge impact on their life and they won't go back to being like they were previously. Good to see that there are still people with big hearts who reach out to those who are in need.


I Don't look back for long, I keep looking Forward!
From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven.