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Being Single and an Officer

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Posted almost 3 years ago

 

 Since no one has spoken on here in a long time, i'll jump in and start a conversation. 


To all single officers out there, how hard is it to come home at the end of the shift and there is no one there waiting for you or someone to talk to? How much weight do you think being an officer has on your dating and/or being single? Do you single officers ever try these online dating sites?


I know for me when I get done working and go back to where I sleep I usually break out the phone and talk to my mom for a little bit, but it seems awkward that no body is around to talk to or someone to just chill out with. My opinion from my life I think the job does put a lot of weight on trying to get a date or start a relationship. Just yesterday I had a situation come up and I know for fact the outcome was because of my job title. For me it has been hard to find anyone that is even interested in even talking to. I got my name in a few sites, but nothing ever comes of them.


You wouldn't go in there for a million bucks...A Cop does it for less...A Reserve does it for free....

Wredcedar_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Sometimes you just have to get used to being alone, you are free to do as you please, walk around in your underwear, and skip washing the dishes for several days, watch what you want on TV and so forth.

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Not an officer, but honestly, when I came home from academy, I absolutely loved it when my puppy would get so excited and jump on me. I can sit on the couch, watch tv and curl up with my puppy and be completely content.


I'm so used to doing things on my own without a man by my side that I sort of accepted it now as part of my life. I look at friends with their boyfriends and all the stress that comes with it that it makes me actually glad that I'm single.


Adapt, improvise and overcome.
YaYa Dancing Wolf

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Cedardale says ...



Sometimes you just have to get used to being alone, you are free to do as you please, walk around in your underwear, and skip washing the dishes for several days, watch what you want on TV and so forth.


 


Okay are you watching me or something lol!!!!! *check house for bugs and cameras* That's exactly what I do. Don't have to worry about anything but me and the dog. Until the dog starts going after my socks and mail left out in the open, then we worry lol!



You wouldn't go in there for a million bucks...A Cop does it for less...A Reserve does it for free....

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

 Hi StrkerBrig21,


How are You?  I am sure you probably do have rough days sometimes.  Being a single Mom is not easy.  We like to have a chat buddy too.  I Love my teenagers dearly.  I do get bored chatting with the dogs.  I call my mom a lot, too.  Good Luck with On-line dating; I am afraid of what I may find on those sites.

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

 Hey Chrissy! I'm good. Wow I couldn't imagine being single and having kids. That sounds like an extremely tough job. lol yeah the dog tends to get bored of you talking after a while. I tried online a couple times, but don't really like it, think i'll just leave it.


Nothing like coming home to the dog CadetAK!!!! Mine goes crazy and sniffs everything I bring in the house and me lol!


But in seriousness I would like to settle down one of these days or years. Have that American Dream 



You wouldn't go in there for a million bucks...A Cop does it for less...A Reserve does it for free....

Att2307142_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

i think it is more difficult for a man to be alone than it is for women. i actually know  a cop who met his wife online.  then you got your friends to meet women, friend's sisters, friend's wives'  friends, and the grocery store. produce section.

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

My American dream is coming home with a happy puppy and a man that bows down to me and presents me a Starbucks iced mocha!


Adapt, improvise and overcome.
YaYa Dancing Wolf

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

CadetAK says ...



My American dream is coming home with a happy puppy and a man that bows down to me and presents me a Starbucks iced mocha!


Haven't you trained your puppy do that yet lol!? Does he at least bring your slippers to you?



Magee that's true, but you need friends to do that and that's something I really don't have outside the department. 



You wouldn't go in there for a million bucks...A Cop does it for less...A Reserve does it for free....

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

 Stryker you will need to find contentment with being without someone.    That way when you do find that special someone there won't be the pressure on her to make you happy.   Loneliness hits us all at one time or another.  After being married for 29 years I am single.  I feel it at times too.      As to online dating I tried it and it is not for me.   But I see nothing wrong with meeting someone online and developing a relationship with them.    


YaYa Sister

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Not an Officer, but working as a vicim advocate for a PD, i see alot of the same stuff and it is often hard to come home to no one but me. I don't even have a pet I can talk to. I do have friends I can unload, but it just isn't the same. I don't trust the internet as I have worked with too many victims who met their abuser that way. The majority of single guys I meet are either too young or just out of a relationship and I don't want to be the rebound that would only end up hurting both of us. With all that said however, I will not just settle with someone for the sake of having someone to talk with. I pray and trust that He will lead me to the right person. It just get's hard some time in waiting for His time...not the most patient person.


 


I agree that the work can be a big part of it. Those not connected to this line of work do not understand that you can't always just shut it off when you get home.

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

cops1521 says ...



Not an Officer, but working as a vicim advocate for a PD, i see alot of the same stuff and it is often hard to come home to no one but me. I don't even have a pet I can talk to. I do have friends I can unload, but it just isn't the same. I don't trust the internet as I have worked with too many victims who met their abuser that way. The majority of single guys I meet are either too young or just out of a relationship and I don't want to be the rebound that would only end up hurting both of us. With all that said however, I will not just settle with someone for the sake of having someone to talk with. I pray and trust that He will lead me to the right person. It just get's hard some time in waiting for His time...not the most patient person.


 


I agree that the work can be a big part of it. Those not connected to this line of work do not understand that you can't always just shut it off when you get home.


 


Amen!!! That's what I say everyday. Its when the Lord wants me to and in His time. I won't settle just for anyone either. The more I hear about the online dating the more creepier it gets. To many weirdos and nuts out there. 


LadyG, it doesn't take much to please me !!


 



You wouldn't go in there for a million bucks...A Cop does it for less...A Reserve does it for free....

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

I know many LEOs that find themselves married to the job and some even that have had relationships fall apart because of their commitment to the job. Balancing the demanding job of a LEO and a home life is not easy and when you are in a relationship with someone outside of law enforcement it can be a challenge as well. From personal experience I would say it helps to have someone to share time with and help with the stresses of the job. Gotta say being single has its perks also. Everyone is different though and whatever makes you happy in the end is the ultimate goal. Remember law enforcement is not just a job but a lifestyle, and that includes the people you spend time with.

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Got to agree with KYMARCUM. When I became a Texas Law dog five years ago it changed me and my lifestyle. This had a major impact on my ex old lady who I had been with for several years prior. As with all walks of life you have to find your balance of work and home life. An old head told me when I first came on that when he gets off he is OFF. You take your skills and use them to stay safe and protect your family if needed but dont give this job a second thought when you double 6.

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

StrykerBrig21 says ...



CadetAK says ...



My American dream is coming home with a happy puppy and a man that bows down to me and presents me a Starbucks iced mocha!


Haven't you trained your puppy do that yet lol!? Does he at least bring your slippers to you?



Magee that's true, but you need friends to do that and that's something I really don't have outside the department. 




Were getting there 1AQ1``dce


Exhibit A!



Adapt, improvise and overcome.
YaYa Dancing Wolf

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

 CadetAK, your dog looks like it's been hooked on Starbucks and now thinking "It's mine, get back!"

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

CadetAK says ...



StrykerBrig21 says ...



CadetAK says ...



My American dream is coming home with a happy puppy and a man that bows down to me and presents me a Starbucks iced mocha!


Haven't you trained your puppy do that yet lol!? Does he at least bring your slippers to you?



Magee that's true, but you need friends to do that and that's something I really don't have outside the department. 



Were getting there 1AQ1``dce


Exhibit A!



HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Love that face 



You wouldn't go in there for a million bucks...A Cop does it for less...A Reserve does it for free....

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

I guess in this case, coffee for that dog is like crack for the hoodlums I deal with.  They defend it at all costs.

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

StrykerBrig21 says ...



CadetAK says ...



StrykerBrig21 says ...



CadetAK says ...



My American dream is coming home with a happy puppy and a man that bows down to me and presents me a Starbucks iced mocha!


Haven't you trained your puppy do that yet lol!? Does he at least bring your slippers to you?



Magee that's true, but you need friends to do that and that's something I really don't have outside the department. 




Were getting there 1AQ1``dce


Exhibit A!



HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Love that face 




your cop friends don't have sisters, their wives don't have friends?

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Rated +2 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

I am not here to date, but a wise man told me once that you have to learn to be alone before you can learn to be with someone else. 

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

po3flyboy says ...



I am not here to date, but a wise man told me once that you have to learn to be alone before you can learn to be with someone else. 



+ 100 that is so true and really good advice...sometimes when you  are with a person a long time you loose focus on who you are that's what happened to me b/c  everything I did I based it on my spouse's opion and guess what he's nolonger there. Now I'm going through the what do I do now phase b/c for ten years I dictated my own life for this individual... but I'm going to go enjoy the things I've put on hold travel , go to museums  experience a new life...etc...


The american dream is ideal but what happens when it becomes the american nightmare. I'm not sure which is worse really being single or after ten years realizing you was'nt with the best  person for yourself to me that is worse..I've come to the conclusion being single just might be the life for me let's face it people just aren't who they say they are... or maybe I just seem to get all the losers lol....I have been on two dates and neither one of them turned into anything.... no big surprise there  but honestly I don't know what guys think now a days I'm not a bad looking girl I work 60 hrs a week go to school and i'm a mommy I'm remodeling my own house I'm not needy I 'm independant and they act like you have the plaque...I can't stand someone that tells you a bunch of junk and then acts the complete opposite just be honest....that happened to me recently obviously .....lol ... dating is for the birds.........so hands down I vote the dog being the best companion ever and my BEAUTIFUL black long haired belgium shepherd would agree    she is defiantly a keeper!!!


In Life we should experience an adventure that will create a memory worth repeating.....unknown.....

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

po3flyboy says ...



I am not here to date, but a wise man told me once that you have to learn to be alone before you can learn to be with someone else. 


Oh I know how to live on my own and take of myself. The Army taught me that! Also have to take care of some other people in my life as well. 


Fate, That why I am waiting for that special someone. I won't jump at the first person I see. Just as the women have standards they want for there man, I have standards as well for the women. 



You wouldn't go in there for a million bucks...A Cop does it for less...A Reserve does it for free....

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Ok, I might have missed it in the discussion, but consider this:


Make up your mind to be comfortable in your personal solitude. (I see that po3flyboy has addressed this.) Being a solo officer/deputy can be a rather lonely career experience. Even in a crowd, you'll feel isolated.


Also, balance out your life with a physical fitness regimen. This alone will help immensely with the stresses naturally occurring in law enforcement.


And thanks for stating you're are not skulking around on PoliceLink looking for the hook-up. I think some people would wonder about your motives.


Lastly, consider going to an 'active' church of your choice. Placing your dating resume online is kinda ....... lame? Going to a solid fellowship will afford you a better chance at developing solid relationships in person versus the internet. Keep in mind, going to church isn't primarily for scoping out the babes. You may discover another Reason for attending.


The Guy !
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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

BUMP po3flyboy


BUMP The Sarge


"It's Never To Late To Be What You Could Have Been"

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

 Bump Sarge!! Thanks for the great advice!


MarlyB, never thought of that before. 


You wouldn't go in there for a million bucks...A Cop does it for less...A Reserve does it for free....

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 


TheSarge says ...


Lastly, consider going to an 'active' church of your choice. Placing your dating resume online is kinda ....... lame? Going to a solid fellowship will afford you a better chance at developing solid relationships in person versus the internet. Keep in mind, going to church isn't primarily for scoping out the babes. You may discover another Reason for attending.


 



I went on a date once with a guy from my church. He said my trance music was "sinful" and made me pay for the date.


Adapt, improvise and overcome.
YaYa Dancing Wolf

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

CadetAK says ...




TheSarge says ...


Lastly, consider going to an 'active' church of your choice. Placing your dating resume online is kinda ....... lame? Going to a solid fellowship will afford you a better chance at developing solid relationships in person versus the internet. Keep in mind, going to church isn't primarily for scoping out the babes. You may discover another Reason for attending.


 



I went on a date once with a guy from my church. He said my trance music was "sinful" and made me pay for the date.


 


Wow that's just plain stupid of him! I would never, no matter what, live a dinner and let the woman pay for herself. That just proves he's not a man. I do attend church pretty regulary when I am not working or busy with the military.  I tried the church thing once in high school and didn't work out to well. Never really tried since. But I'll wait on that right one when God wants me to have that person. 



You wouldn't go in there for a million bucks...A Cop does it for less...A Reserve does it for free....

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

I agree that's  sad and God help him if he ever rode in the car with me he would surely be doing the hail mary's once he heard my Tpain... ;).....it's pretty...intense...some people can really get on a high horse with that I'm religious but I don't dogg other people out that gets on my nerves...


In Life we should experience an adventure that will create a memory worth repeating.....unknown.....

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Eh, he then gave me a lecture on the evils of alcohol...he then was in for a surprise when grandma invited him for dinner and she put out 4 different bottles of wine on the table LOL!


Adapt, improvise and overcome.
YaYa Dancing Wolf

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

haha Grandma is a very cordial hostess! 

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