I LOVE my Croatian father to pieces but one of the reasons why I'm so glad he left for NYC tonight was because him being old-school, cannot grasp the fact that his eldest daughter would ever choose to be a careerwoman (let alone police officer) rather than get married and cook and clean for my husband. The following excerpts are non-fictionous and actually took place this past weekend;

Dad (picture Borat talking): Hey! Why you no do deeshes?

Me: "I was going to but grandma told me to leave them alone and she'll do them when she cleans the kitchen later"

Dad; *scoffs* You tiiink your husband vants to see duuuurtee deeeshes when he comes home? I don't tink so!

Me: "Dad, I don't need new clothes"

Dad: "So ve go to gun store eenstead? *enter Croatian babbling* My daughter vant to shoot peeeple! Vat yoo do vif gun? You put in your jooooooosee purse? (aka girly looking Juicy Couture purse).

Me: "If someone tries to take it, I WILL pull it out and shoot them!"

Dad: "oh vy did zees happen to me?? Vat vill your husband tiiink if you have gun?"

Me: "I would think that would be a turn on for him"

Dad: *makes sign of the cross and mutters in Croatian*

Dad: "Vat will your husband tink, his wife going out and shooteeeng peeple and zen coming home? You expect him to cooook and cleeeeean for you?"

Me: "It'd be kinda nice if he would pick up my dry cleaning"

Dad: "Ve men don't do that, ve vork and YOU cook and clean for us! That's how God made eeet!"

Me: "Dad, whereever in the Bible does it say that?"

Dad: "Vy did God make Adam first?"

Me: "I guess Adam wasn't that great because he needed Eve"

Dad: *enter Croatian swearing*

Dad: "zeees combat boooots and black clozes, no no, you need to look more like a vooooman! We nee to make you so man look at you and go "vow!" not so much "vow, she can keek my ass! No husbaaaand wants a vife that has gun!"

and that's just a tidbit of how conversations with my dad went this weekend!

I swear, between him and my grandma (a cross between Marie from "Everyone Loves Raymond" and Walter from Jeff Dunham), the E! channel should hook me up with a reality show!

you should be happy that you still have your dad. if for one moment you don't  think that man is proud of you, you've missed the point.

He may drive you nuts at times. Buy he loves ya and you love him and will miss him when he's gone.  Hey you did a great job of typing with an accent.  Great stories, thanks for making my morning .

My dad and I have an interesting relationship; he never really was in the picture growing up so sometimes, it does irk me when he comes over and all the sudden, he throws the "I'm your dad and you better listen to me!" card. (or it's more like "I am yer dad, yoo bettar leeeeesten to me!"). I miss him sometimes but I've gotten so used to him not being here that I really don't think (or tiiiink) about it. I know in his own way he's proud of me and I am lucky!

I imitate my dad all the time and people never believe he actually talks like that until they meet him LOL

You know Adrie......... I can close my eyes and hear my mother (same accent from Germany) tell me all of her reasons why I should not be a police officer.  She pulled the same sort of lines on my brother when he informed her of his decision to join the Army.  I will give you frustrating and annoying, especially since he has played a limited role in your upbringing.  Keep in mind that he comes from a very different place on many levels, as did both my parents.  He does not understand and the likelihood is that he won't make much of an effort to try.  I do believe (despite the limited involvement) that he loves his little girl and that just maybe, he is afraid of losing what little of that he ever had and what-ever might be left.  Having said that, I also believe that mz66 is right................. You can't make this stuff up and your dad is giving you great material for a stand-up act.  I am still laughing my fleshy hindquarters off.  You need to get both audio and video of him doing this.  At the very least, you need to write these episodes down on paper.

Hey wait a minute............ I am a school police officer and I am old(er).