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A guy I know is getting a job as an LEO in January, and I have a question

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Posted over 2 years ago

 

Sorry for the horrible title. I'm not exactly sure how to phrase this


 


but, before I begin, let me preface this with the fact that I have a lot of respect for law enforcement, and the bravery they must have in order to do their job each day. Without them our cities wouldn't be safe. Which is sort of why I'm coming here, actually. There is a guy I know who, from what I understand, is starting with the police department up here in January of 2012, and I don't think he's a decent guy who should be an officer. Short question is who would I contact to voice my concerns?


 


Long question will involve a lot of background as to why I think this way.


 


I am a student at a university that has a police academy. I live on campus. In spring 2011 I met a guy who was going through the police academy and befriended him, he asked me if I would be able to be a reference for him if he got interviewed for a job. I said sure. A detective called me a few weeks later and I told him that I thought the guy would make a fine officer, even though something deep in my gut told me this wasn't quite right. I had no reason to believe such however. Gut instincts turn out to be right, usually.


He dated a friend of mine who is into BDSM. It turns out this guy is also into BDSM and has a pretty mad sadistic streak. She ended up with broken ribs, a broken arm, and he also gave her chalmydia and never told her about it, when he knew about this for months. When that relationship fell through he started seeing another friend of mine, whom I also started seeing around the same time, and warned her thatt this guy wasn't very good. When her and I became official he tried to steal her away and when that wasn't working (I'm a pretty decent guy) he just started playing all sorts of mind-games. He's also told me stories of how he's lied to/abused women in Japan and spent all of his money on prostitutes when he was living overseas.


This is why I don't think he's fit to be a cop, and I believe the safety of my city is an important thing.


The thing is though, he has no criminal history (aside from a speeding ticket, which means nothing), which means he's smart enough about his abusive behavior to not get caught. And I really don't have any proof that this has happened. Aside from a few texts I have been saving on my phone from him. A friend of mine who just got into a relationship mentioned to me how it seems odd that Computer Science people are getting into relationships since he just got into one (not realizing that I was about to get into one myself) and this guy who is supposed to be starting with the academy texts me at like 2 in the morning stating that that guy's face should be rearranged. Among some other texts.


I've saved these texts, and this is really the only proof I have that he's an abusive cock. I really do fear for the safety of this city and am not sure who I should contact within the department to voice my concerns or how I should go about doing so.

 


Anyone have any ideas?

White_shirt_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 2 years ago

 

I find this interesting. Joined today. First post. Skeleton profile. Keep in mind this person has been screened during a background investigation. I question your motive. My advice is mind your own business. If I was this applicant and you were attempting to damage my character I can assure you, I would own you. I feel you may have too much time on your hands.

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Rate This | Posted over 2 years ago

 

I joined to make this post. I don't see how that is relevant to anything.

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Rate This | Posted over 2 years ago

 

 I too am suspect of your motive for going forward NOW with this information.  First, if he actually caused a woman that he was in a relationship with to have broken limbs, she obviously had to be treated at a hospital.  Hospitals are required to notify police anytime they suspect injuries from a patient are caused by any sort of domestic abuse. Even if this woman refused a report, if an officer arrived on the scene at the hospital and was informed of the injuries she sustained by the doctor or nurse, he would have had to file a report; it's mandatory.  And once that report is filed, it's documented.  Any police dept. with competent detectives doing background checks would have discovered the report. Second, and not excusing this man, lots of young people pass STDs back and forth to each other.  And again, not defending this guy, but from what I've read on chlamydia, men rarely, if ever, show symptoms having it; it's entirely possible he didn't know he had that STD before passing it along, if he did.  Third, if he spent money on prositutes overseas (I believe you claim he did this in Japan), that's going to be something extremely hard to verify.  It's not uncommon for men to do this in many foreign lands; bathhouses and the like are customary places in Japan that many Japanese men frequent themselves over there.  Not making judgements here, just pointing out that different cultures have different views on this kind of behavior.  If this guy is a sicko, as you're stating here, it probably won't be too long before the Dept. hiring him will find out for themselves, and they'll do the right thing before they allow an officer of questionable sexual habits or preferences to embarrass or shame their dept.  I believe from what you've stated here about this guy's former relationship with your girl that you're going to come off as a bitter former rival, so you may want to really think about this before you step forward with whatever 'proof' you have concerning this former friend's 'character.'  By going forward with this 'information' after you've provided him a positive character reference, I believe it will only hurt YOUR credibility, and could even possibly leave you vulnerable to a civil suit.  Tread lightly on this.

25-1-13-a_1__max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 2 years ago

 

If what you are saying is true...........  Why would anyone (in this case........ YOU) agree to be a reference for someone (or anyone) that they (YOU) barely know and in this case actually tell a background investigator a blatant lie that he would "make a fine officer" when the truth is that you didn't know him, let alone anything about his character?

1979_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 2 years ago

 

If what you said is true then they will find out rather quickly and probably before he even hits the streets. You are not a reliable preson to report him as you not only gave him a recommendation, you kept your mouth shut until he took YOUR girlfriend away from you.


 

White_shirt_max50

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Rated +2 | Posted over 2 years ago

 

I concur with Robo Cop. You are not concerned for the community as stated. This is a personal matter. You are standing to close to the fire. My advice is stay 200 miles south of the situation. If you are considering further involvement  you may be at the losing end of a civil matter.

Crumb_passin_thru_02_1__max50

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Rate This | Posted over 2 years ago

 

TL;DR




Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”

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Rate This | Posted over 2 years ago

 

He didn't take my girlfriend away from me. He tried to, but failed. If I was unclear in that regard than I am sorry. I do agree I should have known more about his character before providing as reference for something like this. I didn't learn a lot qabout his character until I jad known him for a few months.


Someone mentioned that if what I say is true then it will come  out eventualy. This makes sense. Thanks everyone for the replies.

Th_policeavatar_2__max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 2 years ago

 

To the original poster:


I read your inquiry and I have to say you have placed too much importance on your single reference. It is just one part of a much larger application process. The dept. will have taken into account the time frame of your friendship. As to the rest of the "history",  it seems that this could be more of a personal issue between the parties. 


""Life is a storm.. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes"
Alexander Dumas-The Count of Monte Christo

Mardi_gras_cat_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 2 years ago

 

 So what was the question, really?  


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1067_med_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 2 years ago

 

So, just how many stories, texts, etc.. from this guy did it take for you to finally figure out "he's an abusive cock"?


I don't believe in an eye for an eye...I believe in two eyes for an eye.

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Rate This | Posted over 2 years ago

 

@rare: Didn't happen until about June or so. As hard as that may be to believe, some people do put up a good front before letting it all down.


@SGT, Dennis, et al


I'm not going to deny that there is a personal beef with this guy (because then I'd just be lying), and while I could say there's more to that, etc etc, I think I'm going to let this one go because 1) He isn't personally affecting my life anymore and 2) I really don't want to have to deal witha  civil lawsuit.


Again, thanks for the advice and keeping me from doing something very stupid.

1067_med_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 2 years ago

 

Ctrelok says ...



@rare: Didn't happen until about June or so. As hard as that may be to believe, some people do put up a good front before letting it all down.


@SGT, Dennis, et al


I'm not going to deny that there is a personal beef with this guy (because then I'd just be lying), and while I could say there's more to that, etc etc, I think I'm going to let this one go because 1) He isn't personally affecting my life anymore and 2) I really don't want to have to deal witha  civil lawsuit.


Again, thanks for the advice and keeping me from doing something very stupid.



Well, I believe you've been given great advice on what to do this. Too bad you didn't figure this guy out faster.


As an employer I never recommend people I don't know inside and out for a job, and even then I might not recommend them. I don't give details on why, I just say yes or no. I'm not so much worried about a lawsuit as I am about my reputation.


 


I don't believe in an eye for an eye...I believe in two eyes for an eye.

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Rate This | Posted over 2 years ago

 

 If I was you I would stay out of it and mind my own business.

Th_policeavatar_2__max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 2 years ago

 

Might I also add, as some constructive criticism. You say you are in college so I assume you are over 18 and an ADULT! Act like one. What you described is to me nothing more than childishness. Using the reference angle to explain the entire three way relationship and then acting like a winner for getting the girl and bashing the loser. Come on, grow up.


""Life is a storm.. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes"
Alexander Dumas-The Count of Monte Christo

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Rate This | Posted over 2 years ago

 

SGT405 says ...



Might I also add, as some constructive criticism. You say you are in college so I assume you are over 18 and an ADULT! Act like one. What you described is to me nothing more than childishness. Using the reference angle to explain the entire three way relationship and then acting like a winner for getting the girl and bashing the loser. Come on, grow up.




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Tribal_cat_tattoo__2__max50

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Rate This | Posted over 2 years ago

 

Ctrelok says ... 



***EDITED*** 


I am a student at a university that has a police academy. I live on campus. In spring 2011 I met a guy who was going through the police academy and befriended him, he asked me if I would be able to be a reference for him if he got interviewed for a job. I said sure. A detective called me a few weeks later and I told him that I thought the guy would make a fine officer, even though something deep in my gut told me this wasn't quite right. I had no reason to believe such however. Gut instincts turn out to be right, usually.



Catwoman911 says...


Question to the statement above: How could you possibly give ANYONE a reference only knowing them for a few weeks later, when you say the detective called?  You even agree with your "gut instincts" that this person would NOT make a "fine" Officer.  


 


Ctrelok says...



He dated a friend of mine who is into BDSM. It turns out this guy is also into BDSM and has a pretty mad sadistic streak. She ended up with broken ribs, a broken arm, and he also gave her chalmydia and never told her about it, when he knew about this for months. When that relationship fell through he started seeing another friend of mine, whom I also started seeing around the same time, and warned her thatt this guy wasn't very good. When her and I became official he tried to steal her away and when that wasn't working (I'm a pretty decent guy) he just started playing all sorts of mind-games. He's also told me stories of how he's lied to/abused women in Japan and spent all of his money on prostitutes when he was living overseas.



Catwoman911 says...


The above states the reasons why you should not give someone a Reference who you know nothing about.  However, like someone already said in this thread, you are not the only person who has given this person a Reference.  That is why most Departments will ask for at LEAST 5 or more References and look at the length of time that person has known his/her Reference and in what capacity.



 



Ctrelok says...



This is why I don't think he's fit to be a cop, and I believe the safety of my city is an important thing.



Catwoman911 says...


There are so many other aspects in the application process that will be used other than References in deteriming whether or not someone might be a good fit to be an Officer...  If you are that concerned, call the Detective back who contacted you and tell him you really know nothing about this person; you made a mistake in your judgement. 





I have nothing more to say on this topic.  The rest was minutia.


"Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." - Ronald Reagan

Afghanistan_151_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 2 years ago

 

This is plot for a bad romance novel...


Look buddy, if you're friend was so badly hurt, she would've gone to the hospital for such major injuries.


There would've been an investigation.


This just doesn't seem right.


I hope you the best. I just think this story is like a zombie, diseased and trying to find brains.



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Newpatch_sq90_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 2 years ago

 

Now Dr. Laura would say, "Go and do the right thing."


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