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Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Situation resolved. Apparently my husband and I do know what we are doing.

Online-photo-sharing-gallery-animal-cat-cougar-artct45_max160_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

I don't understand. How old is your son? Was there inappropriate pictures or something? You said you have notifed the other childs mom. GOOD FOR YOU !!! Block the number.


PL's Mamacat

Nado_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

I'm confused are we talking about your son or your sons friend? The way I understand it is that your friends son gave your sons number to the listed person and now the listed person is contacting your son and not your friends son, does that sound about right?

Bronzestarribbon_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Talk to your local authorities and see what they think and how you should address the situation.  At the very least starting a paper trail may be of help if it goes further south.  Depending on what information got put out there it may need to be reviewed and or changed?  Best of luck...

White_shirt_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

What Cat_D. Said. Block the number.

New_avatar_4_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

 Hello Tsnyder


You might want to change your son's phone number and make sure that it is not listed in any phone directories.In your message,there was no mention of any illegal activity that has transpired.It is good to be cautious so that if anything illegal does occur,you can be proactive in preventing it.If you are a member of any type of identity theft organization, you might want to notify them so that they can be watching for any suspicious activity coming from the Tacoma Washington area. 


God bless you and have a nice day.
HijoDeDiosMRM

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

To clarify, my son's friend was also continuing communication with this individual. So far, nothing illegal. My concern is with not knowing who the individual is and now has information about my son including the town & state where he lives. The parent of my sons friend is also actively putting a stop to the communication. I am mainly unsettled by this situation because the individual with whom these two boys began chatting with requested my sons phone number.

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Cat_D, my son is 12 years old, which is why I am so upset his information was given out so easily. We have strict rules about safety and my children have never broken those rules...at least not until his friend involved him in this. I have also told my son that he is not going to be communicating with this friend anymore.


 


Cat_D says ...



I don't understand. How old is your son? Was there inappropriate pictures or something? You said you have notifed the other childs mom. GOOD FOR YOU !!! Block the number.


Online-photo-sharing-gallery-animal-cat-cougar-artct45_max160_max50

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Rated +2 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Ahhhhh ! Got it now, well, I don't blame you. Change his number like HijoDeDiosMMR said. Also, if you want to let him continue to be friends with the boy that gave out his #, set his phone so the # doesn't show when he calls out. How does this girl know your son?  Does she go to school with him? Are they friends? If she asked for his # she has to know him somehow.  My daughter was about that age when she got her first phone. We stayed on top of her as well. Had to know who everyone was and routinely read her text messages as well. If he is "stretching his wings" and all is innocent, you need to re-evaluate and make sure you are not over reacting. I'm not saying you are !!! but if it really is a little girl who he knows, they all exchange #'s and call just because they can. My nephew just turned 12 (this past weekend) and my sister is dealing with the same issues. At least where they live it is a small town and everyone knows everyone anyway !! Now, if this is not a little girl, we have a WHOLE 'nother issue to discuss !!!


T, one other thing, let the kid handle his friend who gave out the information. 12 is plenty old enough to start learning how to stand up for himself. If he hasn't had a problem with following the rules, TRUST him to do the right thing. If you start now, when he is 15 you won't have a lot of the problems that over protective parents have. It's not easy, letting them grow up I mean, my son is 20 and my daughter 14. They talk to me about anything and everything, some things I would rather NOT know !!! (jk). It's all about trust. If you need someone to vent to shoot me a pm, like I said, it is hard to let them grow up !


PL's Mamacat

Calico_jack_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

With the kids knowing more about the internet than the grown ups you have to be on the lookout. If you teach the kids to be open with you and not hide their activity on the net from you they should be able to explore and make friends. A good start is to send the girl a message asking her to call you and talk to you about herself. Then it should not be a problem if you then ask to talk to her parents and make sure its all on the up and up. I think it will help to put her parents at ease or atleast bring it to their attention she is making strange contacts.


The biggest thing I can see is to find out what is going on and put some faith in your son to make friends and contacts. If the girl is 12 and just wants to talk about general things it should be alright. Instead of shutting the door you go in turn on the lights and see what its all about. Then if it smells fishy you will have more information to turn over to the locals.


We all as parents know we will have to talk about the birds and bees with our kids. The trick is to do it at the right time when it will help them understand and not too late and they are in trouble. This is true with all things parenting.


drink up me 'arties yo ho

avast ye don't ask we be friends if 10 post we not shared

AARGH ye be prepared to kiss the gunners daughter if I be crossed

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Cat_D,


No, this girl does not go to school with my son. She is not even local. My sons friend met her on an online chat while playing games on his PS3. The fact that neither boy knows who this girl is personally and the information she has is what makes me nervous. We are changing his number ASAP. As for letting him take care of the situation with his friend, I think that is out of our hands at this point because the boys mother is beyond upset that her son gave this information out and has participated in actual phone calls with this person.


 


Top_Cat,


The problem I have, we have no idea if this is an 11 yo girl. So far, this individual has only messaged him through texting.


 


Meff,


My husband and I have had the birds and the bees talk with our son. Thankfully he is a smart boy and is the reason we found out about what has been going on. We reaffirmed with him why this was wrong and why giving information to unknown people is dangerous. I do trust my son to tell me things, but sometimes he can be too trusting and that is what I get nervous about. I want to thank everyone for their feedback on this situation. The suggestions have been helpful.

Female_bodysurfer_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Tsnyder, Cat and the others here have GREAT advice.


Fact is, you can't assume 'predatory adult' - there aren't enough facts.  Think in terms of what an arrest report would say at this point, "A maybe adult has been corresponding with my minor son who gave her/him his id."  And I do mean ID.


Realistically, your son and his friends have probably been doing this kind of thing all along and just got caught.  What are they going to do, admit it to you?  Mothers of sons are notorious for choosing to buy the cross-accusations and "Gee Who Me Mommy Shucks Ma'am Toe in the Dirt" rap. Think about whatever your average healthy twelve year old might hide under the mattress then translate that to the internet.  Compare internet offerings to boys of yesteryear looking up  "sexual intercourse" or "vagina" in the dictionary.  For crying out loud. Soooo...


Would your average 12 yo boy turn down pre-teen girls who video each other as fantasy rock sluts? 


A generation of tiny Bad Romancers on the make.  Groan.


Don't harp on it.  After all he's growing up.  Confiscating equipment as a reality check is doable.  So is making Mr. Innocence earn the right to cyber-game safely by doing chores.


So is getting together with other parents(and exes)  to list up who'll agree to monitor the daylights out of the cyber-munchkins.

Calico_jack_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Call the number yourself and talk to her if its a her then ask to speak to her parents. The only way to get to the bottom is to do the investigation.


drink up me 'arties yo ho

avast ye don't ask we be friends if 10 post we not shared

AARGH ye be prepared to kiss the gunners daughter if I be crossed

Copy_of_oct3_2012_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

 Boy I must be so last century but why would a 11 year old girl want to be hooking up with someone?    As others have said I would call because I would want to know that this is a 11 YO girl.   


YaYa Sister

Female_bodysurfer_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

LadyG - Yes.  Girls that age will do a lot of things for 'effect' - esp. in groups.  Sure, 11 yo girls may not grasp the ramifications and risks, but considering menarchy begins these days at age 10 for many girls...the power surge of 'acting womany' on the internet is a big lure.

Eagle_and_flag_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Kudos for handling the situation as you did! You have every right to be suspicious! The internet, chat rooms and those type connections are really no place for a kid (in my opinion).


And like LadyG, I'm old fashioned and old school. Pagers were the big things when my kids were young, and I would not allow them to have one until they were 16. Personally, I don't believe children (those under the age of 14 or 15) should have cell phones, especially for texting. If a parent wishes to give their child a cell phone for the parent's peace of mind, get them one with limited minutes and instructions that it should be used ONLY for certain things (emergencies, contacting parents, etc). Get a phone plan without texting and without any internet connections.


Bunch of people will disagree with my opinion here, but like I said, I'm old fashioned :)


Don't get me started on FaceBook and MySpace


In GOD We Trust (All others get searched, then checked through NCIC)

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Female_bodysurfer_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Right on, 36TR!  What's wrong with two tin cans and a string??!

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

MarlyB,


In no way am I blind as to the actions of the average 12 year old boy. To hear that an individual whom is texting my son because a friend gave his information out without actually knowing this person and then to find out this individual is asking highly personal questions about identifing information, these are considered red flags especially because of how pedofiles use the internet/social networks/gaming systems to attract young boys and girls. Realistically, my children and I have an excellent relationship where we do talk about everything. We have always been open with all topics with our children. Does my son like girly pictures? He sure does and you know what? I have no problem with it because he is not disgusting about it around others and it is out of pure and natural curiosity.


Also to make one thing perfectly clear, my son was not the one who met this individual while gaming online. It is a case where his friend chatted with this individual through his gaming system and during the course of their discussions, this person asked for my son's phone number which was given out without asking permission first. I may come across as a blinded mother, but I am not. I am a mother who has open discussions with both of my children about life and everything involved. What it boils down to is, my son knows better and does not go on chats. I know this because my husband and I keep tabs on how often our children are online and we check the history on the computers. So, instead of responding like I am a misinformed mother, have some faith that there are still some parents who actually care about the goings on of their children and do not let them do whatever they want whenever.


My sons privacy was violated by someone who was suppose to be his friend, that is no light issue. The idea of kids will be kids in certain situations is not sufficient enough to protect them especially with how lax they are with giving out their information and use of caution with who they talk to. By the way, my son does do chores around the house, he gets his schoolwork done, and he is a responsible individual. Unfortunately, this is a situation that involved the uncontrolled actions of another individual, which steps have been taken to rectify that problem in the future. I am offended by the comments you made in the assumption of the kind of people me and my son are.


 


 


MarlyB says ...



Tsnyder, Cat and the others here have GREAT advice.


Fact is, you can't assume 'predatory adult' - there aren't enough facts.  Think in terms of what an arrest report would say at this point, "A maybe adult has been corresponding with my minor son who gave her/him his id."  And I do mean ID.


Realistically, your son and his friends have probably been doing this kind of thing all along and just got caught.  What are they going to do, admit it to you?  Mothers of sons are notorious for choosing to buy the cross-accusations and "Gee Who Me Mommy Shucks Ma'am Toe in the Dirt" rap. Think about whatever your average healthy twelve year old might hide under the mattress then translate that to the internet.  Compare internet offerings to boys of yesteryear looking up  "sexual intercourse" or "vagina" in the dictionary.  For crying out loud. Soooo...


Would your average 12 yo boy turn down pre-teen girls who video each other as fantasy rock sluts? 


A generation of tiny Bad Romancers on the make.  Groan.


Don't harp on it.  After all he's growing up.  Confiscating equipment as a reality check is doable.  So is making Mr. Innocence earn the right to cyber-game safely by doing chores.


So is getting together with other parents(and exes)  to list up who'll agree to monitor the daylights out of the cyber-munchkins.


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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

36TR,


I am glad to know other people along with my husband and I understand the dangers that children can easily get into nowadays. I am old fashioned and the only reason my son has a cell phone is so that way if he needs to contact my husband or I. It is unfortunate that his privacy was violated by the one individual he thought he could trust as a friend. Both of my children are responsible and unfortunately we are having to deal with this situation. I am happy to say that our sons number has been changed, is unlisted, and will NOT be given out to anyone other than his dad and I.


 


36TR says ...



Kudos for handling the situation as you did! You have every right to be suspicious! The internet, chat rooms and those type connections are really no place for a kid (in my opinion).


And like LadyG, I'm old fashioned and old school. Pagers were the big things when my kids were young, and I would not allow them to have one until they were 16. Personally, I don't believe children (those under the age of 14 or 15) should have cell phones, especially for texting. If a parent wishes to give their child a cell phone for the parent's peace of mind, get them one with limited minutes and instructions that it should be used ONLY for certain things (emergencies, contacting parents, etc). Get a phone plan without texting and without any internet connections.


Bunch of people will disagree with my opinion here, but like I said, I'm old fashioned :)


Don't get me started on FaceBook and MySpace


Eagle_and_flag_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Tsnyder says ...



36TR,


I am glad to know other people along with my husband and I understand the dangers that children can easily get into nowadays. I am old fashioned and the only reason my son has a cell phone is so that way if he needs to contact my husband or I. It is unfortunate that his privacy was violated by the one individual he thought he could trust as a friend. Both of my children are responsible and unfortunately we are having to deal with this situation. I am happy to say that our sons number has been changed, is unlisted, and will NOT be given out to anyone other than his dad and I.


 



In addition to the new steps you have taken for your son's privacy, consider removing texting from his phone plan.  Also, your provider can block his number so when he does call someone with Caller ID, it would read as "Private", "Restricted" or "Unknown Caller". Just a thought.


In GOD We Trust (All others get searched, then checked through NCIC)

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File0106_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

36TR says ...



Tsnyder says ...



36TR,


I am glad to know other people along with my husband and I understand the dangers that children can easily get into nowadays. I am old fashioned and the only reason my son has a cell phone is so that way if he needs to contact my husband or I. It is unfortunate that his privacy was violated by the one individual he thought he could trust as a friend. Both of my children are responsible and unfortunately we are having to deal with this situation. I am happy to say that our sons number has been changed, is unlisted, and will NOT be given out to anyone other than his dad and I.


 



In addition to the new steps you have taken for your son's privacy, consider removing texting from his phone plan.  Also, your provider can block his number so when he does call someone with Caller ID, it would read as "Private", "Restricted" or "Unknown Caller". Just a thought.



You can usually do it yourself on most newer phones just look in settings


" The things you want are always possible: it is just that the way to get them is not always apparent. The onle real obstacle in your path to fulfilling life is you, and that can be a considerable obstacle because you carry the baggage of insecurities and past experiance" Les Brown

Female_bodysurfer_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

My remarks in this public forum should be taken as general to the type of parent you claim to be.  Your type of parent worries me.  A lot.


Let's see if I've got this correct.  Your son would NEVER give his phone number out to an interested female on the internet.  His "friend did it" as a fat favor to Sonny Boy.  And you aren't the least skeptical.  End of story? Nah.  It's the START.


You've made absolutely nothing clear about anything.  That's because your whole perspective is lodged in buying your son's story hook line and sinker.  And I'm supposed to take a cyber-thrashing from you?  Because I happen to believe kids whose parents monitor their activities heavily often go over to each other's houses to use the less well-monitored computers there?  


You congratulate yourself as a great mom because you and your son discuss "everything".  EVERYTHING.  Lady, get real.  Do you really believe boys his age discuss EVERYTHING with their moms?  Why don't you start with that and work your way out from there?  


Quit affording yourself the luxury of naive complacency at your kid's expense.  


That much trust is a total disservice to your kid.


YOU get a clue.  Your son may "know better" and go ahead and violate the rules for kicks.  Why?  Because teenagers do that.


Quit resting on your parenting laurels this early in the game.  Quit congratulating yourself on a job well done on the UNTESTED value system of a TWELVE year old boy. Show some skepticism, will ya?  Cyber-monitoring is waaay more work than checking the home computer's history.  DO THE WORK.


And know what?  'Sonny Boy I Never Chat' is too young for "girly pictures", Mom.  You can't have it both ways.


Ugh.  Done with this one.


Tsnyder says ...



MarlyB,


In no way am I blind as to the actions of the average 12 year old boy. To hear that an individual whom is texting my son because a friend gave his information out without actually knowing this person and then to find out this individual is asking highly personal questions about identifing information, these are considered red flags especially because of how pedofiles use the internet/social networks/gaming systems to attract young boys and girls. Realistically, my children and I have an excellent relationship where we do talk about everything. We have always been open with all topics with our children. Does my son like girly pictures? He sure does and you know what? I have no problem with it because he is not disgusting about it around others and it is out of pure and natural curiosity.


Also to make one thing perfectly clear, my son was not the one who met this individual while gaming online. It is a case where his friend chatted with this individual through his gaming system and during the course of their discussions, this person asked for my son's phone number which was given out without asking permission first. I may come across as a blinded mother, but I am not. I am a mother who has open discussions with both of my children about life and everything involved. What it boils down to is, my son knows better and does not go on chats. I know this because my husband and I keep tabs on how often our children are online and we check the history on the computers. So, instead of responding like I am a misinformed mother, have some faith that there are still some parents who actually care about the goings on of their children and do not let them do whatever they want whenever.


My sons privacy was violated by someone who was suppose to be his friend, that is no light issue. The idea of kids will be kids in certain situations is not sufficient enough to protect them especially with how lax they are with giving out their information and use of caution with who they talk to. By the way, my son does do chores around the house, he gets his schoolwork done, and he is a responsible individual. Unfortunately, this is a situation that involved the uncontrolled actions of another individual, which steps have been taken to rectify that problem in the future. I am offended by the comments you made in the assumption of the kind of people me and my son are.


 


 


MarlyB says ...



Tsnyder, Cat and the others here have GREAT advice.


Fact is, you can't assume 'predatory adult' - there aren't enough facts.  Think in terms of what an arrest report would say at this point, "A maybe adult has been corresponding with my minor son who gave her/him his id."  And I do mean ID.


Realistically, your son and his friends have probably been doing this kind of thing all along and just got caught.  What are they going to do, admit it to you?  Mothers of sons are notorious for choosing to buy the cross-accusations and "Gee Who Me Mommy Shucks Ma'am Toe in the Dirt" rap. Think about whatever your average healthy twelve year old might hide under the mattress then translate that to the internet.  Compare internet offerings to boys of yesteryear looking up  "sexual intercourse" or "vagina" in the dictionary.  For crying out loud. Soooo...


Would your average 12 yo boy turn down pre-teen girls who video each other as fantasy rock sluts? 


A generation of tiny Bad Romancers on the make.  Groan.


Don't harp on it.  After all he's growing up.  Confiscating equipment as a reality check is doable.  So is making Mr. Innocence earn the right to cyber-game safely by doing chores.


So is getting together with other parents(and exes)  to list up who'll agree to monitor the daylights out of the cyber-munchkins.


Calico_jack_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Tsnyder says ...



I have a situation that I am now dealing with that I never thought I would have to deal with...EVER. I could use some advice. I recently found out that one of my son's friends met an individual online and developed a verbal relationship with this individual. During one of their conversations, this person asked for my son's phone number and unfortunately it was given out along with enough identifying information. My husband and I found out this individual, who says she is an 11 year old girl from Tacoma, Washington, has been sending text messages to my son. We have confiscated the phone, but the damage has been done. I have notified the boys mother of what has happened and she did not know what was going on because the child was with her ex. i did a reverse look up and it shows the number is registered in Tacoma, Washington. Should I report this at this point in time?



I belive we got off topic you asked a simple question. "Should I report this at this pointin time?"


I must beg your parden for giving you an answer you did not agree with or like so let me try again. We were only trying to help.


Yes report this.


drink up me 'arties yo ho

avast ye don't ask we be friends if 10 post we not shared

AARGH ye be prepared to kiss the gunners daughter if I be crossed