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lost a coworker to suicide...

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Boat_max50

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Posted almost 3 years ago

 

over the weekend a coworker of mine took her own life  it amazes me how people hide their internal turmoil so well from the world I had just had a lengthy conversation with this person about a week ago I would have never expected this.. Tonight is the viewing she left behind two teenage  children... what a tragic loss she was always upbeat always had a smile on her face she hid it very very well.. needless to say its going to be a tough one to attend...


In Life we should experience an adventure that will create a memory worth repeating.....unknown.....

Batman_max600_1__max50

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

So very sorry to hear of your loss. Anytime you lose a friend or co-worker it is difficult. But when a person commits suicide it is even harder. What do I say to their family, how should I act around them and do I tell them that they were a good person just in pain that they hid.  Difficult questions but just be there for them and help them to heal and this will help you as well. Good luck and God bless you and this woman's family.


Bad stuff happens to good people, handle it and overcome.
My motto for life:
Let go and let GOD,
Only HE can control everything.

Thumbnail_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  It is always hard to lose someone that you know and care about, it's even more so when they are close to you such as a friend and co-worker.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you and this woman's family.  May God grant you and them the peace and help needed to get through this very difficult time.

Andrea_and_i_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

It is indeed a tough event to process, especially if you were even remotely close to the individual. Have dealt with suicides in the past and it is never a situation that is easy to deal with. Thoughts and prayers go out to family, friends and colleagues during this time.

Img_3413_sq90_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

My thoughts and prayers go out to your coworker their friends and family as well as you and your other coworkers. It is , as others have said, difficult to lose someone you know die, but when it is a suicide it is especially hard. We are left to wonder why someone would do such a thing and what signs did we miss. We just buried a Jail Deputy on Tuesday, who committed suicide and those feelings in this area is quite strong.


 


I also have a friend who committed suicide in 2001 and I still periodically wonder if I could have done something to have prevented it. I just hold on to a statement that a firend of mine who attempted it once said to me when I apologized for not being there for her. Her reply to me was "I knew you were there, I just chose to not reach out to you." We will never know and understand why such a choice is made even if we hear the reasonings or excuses if you will, just know that your coworker was at such a point in their life they just could not think clear enough to see how it would affect those around them. Law Enforcement sees how it affects the families and friends because they respond to the suicide call. Yet suicide averages to be three times higher per year amongst Law Enforcement than Line of Duty Deaths, so it shows that even the LEOs who see and know how it affects those left behind are still so consumed with whatever is going on with them that they think their particular situation is different.


Someone asked what you say to the family in these type of situations. You say what you would say to anyone who has lost a loved one. That you are sorry for their loss. That you are there for them if they need you (then actaully be there if they reach out to you). If they ask you why, it's ok to say you don't know and that we may never know or understand why. Actually, to be truthful, if you don't know what to say, it really is okay to say you don't know what to say.


God Bless and I pray that your coworker rests in peace.

John_groh_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

I am so sorry to hear of the death of your co worker.  It can be very hard and the thoughts linger for a long time.


Over the years I have lost several people that I had worked with in this way. The loved ones and friends they leave behind have a hard time accepting the fact that this happened.   I wish you well and pray for you, your friends family and all who are effected my this event.

Boat_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

thanks for your thoughts it was rough and apparently she shot herself :( which I did'nt find out until the viewing and she left no note, earlier that day she got some test results back from a doctor and s/p she got REALLY drunk the night of the suicide...so my guess is she got bad news...makes it even harder...


In Life we should experience an adventure that will create a memory worth repeating.....unknown.....

Nado_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

I had a similar situation this past week,  a married couple I grew up with through my church was involved in a murder suicide, they were going through a divorce and out of respect for them I'm going to leave the details out, but it was one of those things no one had seen coming.

Lady_jessie_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Suicide is a result of unresolved inner turmoil. People can have talents to subdue and suppress depression, disappointment and hurt. And this stuff doesn't dissipate. It just stores unresolved and stacks higher and higher.


Oftentimes people just don't want to talk about it or have it resolved. They are on a one way track. The people who do 'attempts at suicide' are the ones that can be rescued. Their unsuccessful attempts are just methods of getting attention and crying out for help.


This is a complicated and complex topic.


And, of course, belated condolences for the lost of your co-worker. I am sure it has been devastating for those closest.


The Guy !
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Honoring the Fallen

Tribal_cat_tattoo__2__max50

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

TheSarge says ...



***EDITED***


Oftentimes people just don't want to talk about it or have it resolved. They are on a one way track. The people who do 'attempts at suicide' are the ones that can be rescued. Their unsuccessful attempts are just methods of getting attention and crying out for help.



Sarge, you are right on when you say this!!


To the OP, I am terribly sorry to hear the tragic news of your co-worker.  I am sending prayers for the deceased and family and friends.



 


 



"Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." - Ronald Reagan

Wredcedar_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Having concerns about possible suicides, i will list some of the potential warning signs to look for:


talking about suicide


seeking out lethal weapons


preoccupation with death


no hope for the future


self loathing/self hatred


getting affairs in order


giving away possessions


saying 'good bye'


withdrawing from others


self destructive behavior


sudden sense of calm (after extreme depression)


and realize that is list is neither all inclusive, or an absolute guide, but some possible clues to suicidal behavior.

Draped_badge_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

I had a friend/coworker commit suicide many years ago.  I was first on the scene and watched him die.  There was nothing anyone could do.  He was also a neighbor as well and when he shot himself, I happened to be stopping at home to check on my son.  He saw the police car there, he could have came over and talked.  Such a shame, he never showed any signs either.  He never mentioned marital problems, which turned out to be what put him over the top..Cops, especially, refuse to have the stigma of asking for help. 

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

My sincerest condolences.

Boat_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

yeah she did'nt display any of these characteristics... I feel really bad for her children I hope she found the " peace" that she was seeking... depression is such a nasty illness..


In Life we should experience an adventure that will create a memory worth repeating.....unknown.....

Untitledma28839986-0002_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

My sincerest condolences.

Tribal_cat_tattoo__2__max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Fate30 says ...



yeah she did'nt display any of these characteristics... I feel really bad for her children I hope she found the " peace" that she was seeking... depression is such a nasty illness..



Yes, Depression is a terrible illness. Bump!


"Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." - Ronald Reagan

Tww-nederland_forum_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Dear Fate30


I'm sorry about your loss of your co-worker.

I know how you feel.

In 2003 I lost two collegues from my patrol unit. Both decided to step out of their lives by commiting suicide. One in March and the other in december.

Both were great guys and good hard working cops. From the outside I didn't see a thing. I had the luck I worked in a unit that was so close that it felt like a family. So we talked a lot about it and did both funerals. That was the hardest part. And yes there will be always question.

"Why not come and talk to me".

They will never be gone. They will be in your heart forever.


 


When everything seems to be coming your way...
you may be in the wrong lane!

Crime is a disease
I'm the cure