Group Forums >> ASK A REAL COP A QUESTION >> DId your.....

+1

DId your.....

640 Views
27 Replies Flag as inappropriate
File0106_max50

271 posts

back to top

Posted over 3 years ago

 

Has anyones family not supported your decision to be in law enforcement? The majority of my family supports my decision to be a cop when the time comes only a small portion doesn't support my desicion and I don't know how to explain it to them to help them view my point of view any ideas?


" The things you want are always possible: it is just that the way to get them is not always apparent. The onle real obstacle in your path to fulfilling life is you, and that can be a considerable obstacle because you carry the baggage of insecurities and past experiance" Les Brown

Avatar_max160_max160_max50

2600 posts

back to top
+4

Rated +4 | Posted over 3 years ago

 

I never asked my family about my decision, It's has always been my choice and not theirs. If they didn't like it........... too bad.


Hello my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.

"It's not a constitutional violation for a police officer to be a jerk." Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy -December 4, 2000

Screen_shot_2011-04-10_at_8

999 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Most of my family don't understand why I am in LE. Most of them were always on the wrong side of the law. I am truly the black sheep! +++++++ But jakesdad is right, you are the only one who has to know and understand why you are choosing this profession. And once you are in it, you will learn who are your true friends, that includes family. Good luck!



~~T_9

Untitledma28839986-0002_max50

2198 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Bump jakesdad and T_9

File0106_max50

271 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

I have known that is my decision and what others say shouldn't effect me I was just wondering if there was some way to help them see through my eyes.. Thanks guys I do appraciate it even though I asked the stupidest question something that I already knew the answer to.


" The things you want are always possible: it is just that the way to get them is not always apparent. The onle real obstacle in your path to fulfilling life is you, and that can be a considerable obstacle because you carry the baggage of insecurities and past experiance" Les Brown

Avatar_max160_max160_max50

2600 posts

back to top
+1

Rated +1 | Posted over 3 years ago

 

It's a fair question. It's all about your self-determination. If your haven't noticed my avatar, "I don't care", has done me well for over 25 years in the business.


Hello my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.

"It's not a constitutional violation for a police officer to be a jerk." Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy -December 4, 2000

Cruise_2014_max50

2545 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

My family did not understand my choice. It'sa large one (7 brothers and sisters, dozens of cousins). Some supported me, some did not. My wife and I were engaged at the time I was hired and she was behind me 100%. She was my rock then and since. You should also keep in mind that most of your friends will change their attitude toward as well. I lost friends when I became an officer, but the familyI gained more than made up for it.


PL MENTORING TEAM MEMBER

"Don't underestimate the drawing power of the Garden State." From the film "Dogma"

Trying to stay sane in an insane world...

Newpatch_sq90_max50

6010 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

I never asked them. I have always wanted to be a police officer. I am sure they didn't care for it, but I didn't really care what they thought.


Photobucket
In Memory of the Fallen Officers

MODERATOR 3

Evil_max50

7070 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Ditto JIMROC! My dad is a police officer, thats what I always wanted to be. I am guessing he's good with the deicsion. Never bothered to listen to anyone elses concerns on the subject if any were offered.


You have the rest of your life to solve the problem, how long your life lasts depends on how well you do it. -Clint Smith

Respect it

Evil_max50

7070 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Its your decision. Not your friends or family. Either they support what you want to do or they dont. Doesnt matter if you want to be a police officer, a leach of a doctor, a bottom feeding lawyer or flipping burgers at Carls Jr, LOL.....Its what you want to do with your life not what ANY body else wants you to do with it.


You have the rest of your life to solve the problem, how long your life lasts depends on how well you do it. -Clint Smith

Respect it

File0106_max50

271 posts

back to top
+1

Rated +1 | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Yeah I noticed @JakesDad and I guess I should be happy with the support I got and think about the positives that  I will beneifit from when I get the chance to enter into LE. I know I have quite a few people supporting me but maybe I should take your approach and not care what others think of my choice of Career


" The things you want are always possible: it is just that the way to get them is not always apparent. The onle real obstacle in your path to fulfilling life is you, and that can be a considerable obstacle because you carry the baggage of insecurities and past experiance" Les Brown

Avatar_max160_max160_max50

2600 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

BINGO


Hello my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.

"It's not a constitutional violation for a police officer to be a jerk." Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy -December 4, 2000

Imagesca4hzk2w_max50

663 posts

back to top
+1

Rated +1 | Posted over 3 years ago

 

I don't know if you are married but it is something you should definitely discuss. Without the back from your spouse, marriage life can get real stressful. Check the high divorce rate among officers. As far as other family like brothers, sisters, cousins, ect I'm with the rest it don't matter what they think. But you want you and your significant other on the same page if you want it to work. If your significant other is not down with your career choice, then they aint the one for you anyway.


I'm married to the LORD..no prenup

O_s_max50

860 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Most of my family doesn't support it, my fiancee understands it's a calling and supports me. It's not their choice, it's yours.


"Law enforcement officers are never 'off duty.' They are dedicated public servants who are sworn to protect public safety at any time and place that the peace is threatened. They need all the help that they can get."
- Barbara Boxer

"My heroes are those who risk their lives every day to protect our world and make it a better place - police, firefighters and members of our armed forces."
- Sidney

25-1-13-a_1__max50

2121 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Mom didn't care for the idea. She didn't want my younger brother to join the Army either and even tried to have my 3 tour Vietnam Veteran uncle talk him out of it. To her credit and in her defense, she had seen some of the worst things that war had to offer and even though at that time the U.S. was in relative peace times, didn't want to see her children get hurt or killed. When I voiced my opinion and desire to become a police officer, it came down to the same thing. The outcome? My uncle understood my brother's reasoning for joining the Army and told my mom that it was something my brother had to do and that he was not going to talk him out of it. With me, by the time I put myself into the police academy and eventually landed a position, she had passed away and it was no longer an issue. I had the support of the rest of my family. My wife's brother is LE and so she too understands and supports me in my career. Ultimately, it is your decision alone to make. While some (including your immediate family) may not understand that, your decision will be the only one that matters. You alone will have to live with yourself if you give up your dream just to make them happy or, you can be happy living your dream.

Wtc_badge_max600_max160_max50

1410 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Who's dream is it? Yours or the families? Life is made by choice's. Listen to your gut, it will never lie to you, trust it. This job is not for everyone. Only you can make that choice. I wish you luck.

Walther_ppk_pic_max600_max50

993 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

 


My mother was supportive, but not all that happy...................... as out of the 3 boys............. she ended up with two that did a tour in the US Army and then ..... both the oldest and youngest became career police patrol officers


 and the 3rd son........


Yep....


Nice safe job.................. 12 years......................... on a crab boat in the Bearing Sea !


Poor Mom !


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


But since you're asking................ I say try and find a job that YOU like doing..............................


 

Vpsomourningband_max50

5189 posts

back to top
+1

Rated +1 | Posted over 3 years ago

 

If they don't understand explaining it will not help them to understand.  So don't explain.  Your choosing to be a LEO is SELF-EXPLANATORY.


Photobucket

~I wondered why somebody didn't do something, then I realized I was somebody. ~ unknown

Batman_max600_1__max50

3279 posts

back to top
+1

Rated +1 | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Your family will eventually get used to the idea that you are in L.E. As for any friends that don't like it tough nuggies. Your true friends will stay true and your family although they might not be comfortable about you being a L.E.O. they will love you no matter what. Go for it if it is YOUR calling. Good luck!!!!


Bad stuff happens to good people, handle it and overcome.
My motto for life:
Let go and let GOD,
Only HE can control everything.

-24 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

My Mother,Father abd sister were opposed but my wife supported me 100%..Those whom I mentioned (with the exception of my wife) have always been judgemental snobs.I would never have been satisfied doing anything else.Let your conscience be your guide.Bump to DonnaLynn.

0 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

My Dad was Airborne Comb at Engineer in the Army. he always pushed military and military values on me. Said I'd have a better life if I joined. At the age of 21 I was ready to join finally. My Dad's complete opinion changed when I enter the ranks of our great military. I found him to be very impatient when I talked about work or the military. i found him to be very closed off and distant. especially when I found out I would be serving in afghan.


My dad is the one person I've wanted to make proud. He is proud I think. I think he just has a hard time dealing and expressing his feelings about possibly losing me.


I found out that even though I pick this career, my family does suffer a little, you are selfish because you want and need and have to do this job of selflessness(is that even a word) do you understand? Because the ones that care will hurt  alittle every time you walk out that door. But the ones that love you and know you are doing something better, they might hurt but they understand.


My Dad still won't talking about me leaving. He found out some stuff I'll be doing out there already, and he refuses to talk about Afghan or my deployment. But he still loves me. He will still be there.


So the people that love you can care might not be too keen on the idea, but don't worry about that- just worry about coming home.

Online-photo-sharing-gallery-animal-cat-cougar-artct45_max160_max50

6159 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Lilljj, honey, you still have what another yr of HS? Family worries about what could happen. My dad threw a fit, No daughter of his was gonna do a man's job and carry a gun ! Well he got over it but he never liked thinking about me being in harms way. My mom was even worse. She too got over it. Redlights dad is freeking out, (I can tell by what she says he's doing). Of course, he's not showing it on the outside, but she is always gonna be his baby girl, so he's worried too, but I bet he's super proud of her. It's HUMAN to worry about the one's you love. Just don't let them wrap you in bubble wrap to keep you "safe". Go out and live your own life.


KRG -- I KNOW I would rather have my kid in the military or on a PD than in the Bering Sea on a freeking crab boat !!!! (yeah, we are big fans of Deadliest Catch at my house)


PL's Mamacat

Ringo_max50

83 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

 My parents pretend to be supportive but every time I talk to them about it I can see right through them. They have a few certain..... lifestyle choices I don't agree with and LE definitely doesn't agree with. Not really close with them anyway so I could care less what they think. 


My siblings on the other hand are very supportive and hope for the best for me. My wife and her family are also very supportive. I can only imagine how tough it would be without anyones support. 

Andrea_and_i_max50

1374 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

My family was apprehensive about it at first, especially since I had a cousin who had a close call as a State Trooper about the time that I was entering into LE. My mom was a bit subtle, always trying to redirect my interests for a bit, then she gave up when she realized that it was what I was going to do no matter what anyone else ever thought. I think that your family will have to accept it and understand that it is your decision.


Plus it gives family plenty to consider or talk about... especially when their cousin Cory might show up at a family reunion and they had a warrant. Or be working and have to deal with a cousin who was involved in a domestic with her live-in boyfriend. For some reason, my invites to further family gatherings and functions just "get lost in the mail."


You ask my parents about it now, they talk with pride about my days as a Deputy. They realize that it is a dangerous job, but life has its dangers too and you just simply have to live life as you see fit.

Profile1_max50

118 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

My grandmother's father was a police constable in London. He was badly beaten one night and was never able to fully recover; needless to say, she dosen't support the idea. My parents are very happy with my career choice, but some other members of my family think that it is a pathetic choice. I don't care. Appreciate the support, ignore the 'haters'.


"Any sudden hand movements will render your birth certificate a useless piece of scrap paper."

File0106_max50

271 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Thanks guys for all of the great advice. I know I shouldn't worry and just keep the support I have close to me and all others can scratch their aces and get glad if they don't want to support me in my career choice. I do still have another yr of high school. I believe LE is my calling and I don't think there is another career field that would suite me like LE does. My girlfriend, her family all support me and are behind me 100% of the way. My gf's uncle is a cop and he thinks that LE would be great for me. I think it would also. I appraciate all of the great advice given to me on policelink. I really do listen to what the members of PL say, if even though I don't seem like it in some of the forums and posts that I reply too.


" The things you want are always possible: it is just that the way to get them is not always apparent. The onle real obstacle in your path to fulfilling life is you, and that can be a considerable obstacle because you carry the baggage of insecurities and past experiance" Les Brown

Tumblr_lpagx176uq1qls45bo1_r1_500_max50

241 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

My mom supports me but my dad and my uncle don't. I told them it's my life and I'll do anything I wish to do, plus they don't know what I plan on doing.