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"Truths for Mature Humans"

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Nag_max50

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Posted almost 4 years ago

 

 


1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your

                computer history if you die.

               

                2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize

                you're wrong.

               

                3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was

                younger.

               

                4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

               

                5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

               

                6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

               

                7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure

                I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

               

                8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the

                person died.

               

                9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

               

                10. Bad decisions make good stories.

               

                11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work

                when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the

                rest of the day.

               

                12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

               

                13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if

                I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I

                did not make any changes to.

               

                14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to

                answer when they call.

               

                15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

               

                16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or

                Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

               

                17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

               

                18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and

                hunger.

               

                19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and

                smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

               

                20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to

                prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and

                sisters!

               

                21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,

                and you can wear them forever.

               

                22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not

                know what time it is.

               

                23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys

                in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -

                but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away,

                in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

1979_max50

3270 posts

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

These are truisms and items that need to be done. Love it!

Online-photo-sharing-gallery-animal-cat-cougar-artct45_max160_max50

6164 posts

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHA now that's funny !!! The only one I disagree with is #5. I know how to fold a fitted sheet !!!! Oh and please show DonnaLynn #1 that's her job if I die first !!!! hahahahahahahaha


PL's Mamacat

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

You probably nailed everybody on the link,in at least one or two.My major thing is #19,that's me.Im work with a lady who carries on an eight hour ,running oratory and says NOTHiNG.Thank God there's a large air vent located between us and I miss most of her inane prattle.I just smile and nod.She's probably calling me an as-hol- and I'm agreeing.

Andrea_and_i_max50

1374 posts

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

Sums up a lot of us pretty well on here... myself included.

-188 posts

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  Love it!  Every single one of them is true, too!


Heores_max50

252 posts

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

LOVE IT!


Kendra
"Integrity first, service before self, excellence in all we do."

Vpsomourningband_max50

5246 posts

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

#5 is so true!  Aggravates the hell out of me because it doesn't even take me out of the neighborhood on a direct/shortest route!


Mama_C #1 goes without saying! 


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John_groh_max50

786 posts

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

These are all great, but the ones related to Map Quest also applies to GPS.   Last year I received a GPS for Christmas.  The next day I took it out and was driving around playing with it.        I entered a location that I know was two blocks west and take a right for about 100 feet.  Well this thing had me going East then South then West then North.  I drove five miles to get to a location that was about 150 yards from where I started.


The next time I used the thing I picked the shortest route instead of the freeway.  The damn thing took me through areas of Baltimore that were so bad, I took out my off duty and stuck it in between my legs.  And the worst part was, I couldn't turn around and go back, I had to follow the directions because it had me totally lost.    When I checked, I might have saved about 3 miles from the route I normally would have taken to get to my destination.

-10 posts

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

lmao, I needed a good laugh. this thread is full of win.

Csi_squirrle_max600_1__max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

Yep, all true LOL

Sg_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

Those are good.


Just found this which I will now use. http://www.marthastewart.com/article/how-to-fold-a-fitted-sheet

Littlegirltongue_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 


 


I can realate to EVERY one of those !!!!


"A really strong woman accepts the war she went through and is ennobled by her scars." - Carly Simon
YaYa's Queen Dancing Creek

Rafngreenblack_max50

885 posts

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

Quite possibly one of the funniest things I've ever read! My family thought I was crazy 'cuz I was literally LOL! Thank you!

Beware_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

As true as " Everything I needed to know I learned in Kindergarten".


"Quando omni flunkus moritati"

Screen_shot_2011-04-10_at_8

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

#17 had me crying! SERIOUSLY tears rolling down my cheeks... too funny!!!!



~~T_9

-18 posts

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Ba-ba-BUMP.  All so, so true, and so, so funny!


Female_bodysurfer_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

These are EXCELLENT!!



Nintendo_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

I have seen this before in an e-mail, but it is great to see it again.  It's funny everytime!


"I have a strict gun control policy. If there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it."

- Clint Eastwood

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

#11- Usually about 2 seconds after Check in on a night shift, tuesday.

Newpatch_sq90_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

How do you fold a fitted sheet?


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