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Poll: When your job comes home...

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Poll: Is it hard not to mix hardships of your job with family life


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Posted over 6 years ago


 I have an Uncle who is now retired from the NYSP..

             He is by far very loved and probably one of the only people I can work with and not have to say two words in order to get a job done..

 When he first became a Trooper everybody was so proud and happy...  I was in High school and he was the ultimate hero to me..  I noticed within the next two years and so on, that he had changed from a spunky happy proud man to just being quiet. Staring into space for a bit and falling asleep...  That was not all.. His attitude was getting to the point of no conversation but short outbursts...  One day my uncle came in the house for break from patrol, I was just out of a hurtful night of wrestling practice..  Had my head resting on the kitchen table.. "  We used to wrestle and challenge each other quite a bit for fun"  I did something in school at the time and he called me out on it... Which was understanding it was stupid...  He put me into a choke / submission hold while I was resting...  I listened to what he said but he kept getting tighter with his hold..  So of course I lost it and countered his move...  Then it got dirty.... Knock down drag out...   Finally after hurting each other  I finally had to make him stop........   Finally we were at a mexican stand off....  Trooper Pahl was not playing... It was different.....

    My Uncle looked at me mad and said you know I can throw you in jail for assault....  My thought was Your my Uncle reguardless of what you wear or do.. Im not your run of a mill scumbag that pops off to you on the Thru-way.....   I asked him to leave his job at work....  Come home to family...  I joined the fire dept. shortly afterwards.... I wanted to see what he has to deal with.. I wanted to be a Trooper too...  Help my Uncle on Patrol..    I joined the Fire  Dept.    and saw on my first call a kid I knew in school had wrecked his car on a dirt road intersection.. The car flipped and he was not wearing a seatbelt... When the car flipped his head was under the roof of the car when when it meet the dirt road...  So my first job was to rinse the road off.... Spent  quite a few years doing what a rescuer does.... I understood what he saw... Everyday...  To not bring it home is extremely hard..   I love my unlce Baddest New York State Trooper I know... I love my Uncle....  Just something I wanted to share...  We see you in pain and it hurts your family too.. Take it from me .. Do the job....... LOVE your family...... 


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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago


Yes, it can be difficult to find the balance.  You have a family that wants to know how your day went and most of the time it is easy to relay what happened.  Yep, went to the fair for a meet and greet and got to see a lot of nice people there (doesn't happen very often).  Yep, got to see the most interesting crash today and everyone got to walk away without a scratch (doens't happen that often either).  No, you can't talk much about a good portion of the incidents you experience due to the gravity of the situation and the fact that you don't want to depress your family.

Many times we gloss over our day with the family so they know that your day was a good one, that the bad guy went to jail, that while the crash was terrible - everyone survived, or whatever happened that might be of interest but it is not the same as being able to discuss the incident to it's fullest with someone that A)  Will understand and B)  Not be affected as the family would be.  Yet, you still need someone to "vent" to or discuss the issue with so you don't continually go 'round and 'round with it trying to rationalize what happened and not hold it in until you explode. . . .which it sounds like what you uncle did.  I hope you uncle has found an outlet for his emotions so he can balance out his emotions and get back in touch with his former self.

I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them.

John Bernard Books, from "The Shootist"


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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago


It is sometimes hard to balance family and work....if you have a bad day then sometimes it follows you home. One thing that i do is on my way home try to put work in the back of my mind and not mention my bad day because its always great to go home to loved ones.