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Marriage, Part 2

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Random_003_max50

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Posted over 3 years ago

 

 Update: thanx for all the advice.. everything has been worked out


Thanks all, be safe.


Alex

Silver_warrior_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

First, good luck in your endeavors.  While it is a challenging career, it can also be a rewarding career.  However, when the word "rewarding" is brought up, it usually does NOT mean money or even "praise".  If these are the things that make you "tick" then this is not for you.  The rewarding part is when you know that YOU helped someone through a tough time and that if it were not for you. . .their tough time would have been extended or even tougher.  Many times you may not know this until someone meets you on the street (talking in the future here) and thanks you for just the time you took out of your busy day to just talk with them about their problems.  This is one of the rewards you may get.


As for all of the "scary" things out there. . . . .yes, there are things that can alter your life and even take it while doing this job.  In my department there have been 49 officers lost in the line of duty since the department's inception in 1917.  If you would like I can do a little research to put hard numbers to what I'm about to relay to you (it will take a little time though) but most of our on duty deaths have come primarily accidents (mostly auto crashes) and not officers being murdered.  Every so often the "news" will have some special report on the most dangerous jobs in the land.  While being a police officer bounces in and out of the top ten (depending on the year), firemen seem to always be in the top 5.


Why, you may ask?  Because firemen go into buildings that are slowly being consumed by fire and the integrity of the building gets overestimated and collapses while the fire personnel are inside, or something inside the fire blows up unexpectedly.  We as officers though are dealing with a little firmer grasp of something that, while still unknown, is a little easier (not much) to compensate for. . . .human nature.  We have a considerable amount of latitude most of the time in how we approach a situation.  Yes, actions are quicker than reactions and we can still get ambushed but with training and experience, we can start to recognize the many ways people start setting up their actions and can alter our approach to try to counter act their actions.  Kind of like a chess game. . . .to an extent, this is what gives the "rush" to most of us.


Your wife may need to talk with some of the other department member's spouses to see how they handle it.  If she is dead set against it, then you will have to decide which is more important to you. . . .a career, or family life.  Nobody here can assist you with that decision as only you know how special your relationship is with your wife.  If it does come to a this or that decision though. . .it won't matter which decision you make. . . .there will always be regret with what "could have been if I had taken the other choice".  Not a fun decision there, try to avoid it.

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

sounds like she doesnt trust you

Evil_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

rickm says ...



sounds like she doesnt trust you



This ^^^^


What diffierence does it make if women flirt w/ you?  Unless of course she don't trust you to ignore it.  Yeah you can get hurt.  You can get anywhere at anytime.  Through training and experience you minimize the possiblities of being hurt.


You have the rest of your life to solve the problem, how long your life lasts depends on how well you do it. -Clint Smith

Respect it

Th_policeavatar_2__max50

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

So accountants never cheat on their wives? Or salesmen? Get the point. Either she married you because she loves and trusts you or she doesn't. Concerning the job. I have been doing it since 1975, married since 1980. The first thing I do when I wake up every morning is kiss my wife and say I love you.  Is she scared when I am at work? Yes. But she knows I am the one with the gun and the training and the blue army to back me up.  She also knows anyone could get hurt simply going about their daily routine.  When we get married we don't morph into one cocooned being. We are still 2 independent people with our own dreams, wants,desires,hobbies,likes and dislikes. When one tries to make the other into something they are not the marriage will fail.


""Life is a storm.. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes"
Alexander Dumas-The Count of Monte Christo