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What can you do about angry ex's?

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100e0891___resize_max50

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Posted about 7 years ago

 

Before I joined the Army, while I was fresh from the academy, I was trying to hire on at a local PD. During the background checks, the department wanted my bitter ex-fiance's contact info, and begrudingly I gave it to them. When the investigator contacted her, she trash talked me and told a bunch of lies such as I steal things, I have a ton of illegal weapons, I tried to assault her, etc. She even wrote a blog on her myspace about how she was trying to sabotage my career. Needless to say, I didn't get the job. I'm just wondering, should something like that happen again, how could I deal with that and clear up the lies when I try to get hired after my military career is finished?

Kirlian-fingerprints_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

Johnny,

First off do you have a copy of that blog she wrote? If not get a copy of it for your protection then you can hand that to them and give them a heads up... But other than that I don’t know what to tell you... With your military back ground you shouldn’t really have a problem… GL


“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

Photo_user_blank_big

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

If what you are saying is true, she violated your civil rights by telling those lies, especially since she said she had the intent of preventing you from getting the job you wanted. If you have a copy of the blog, or any other evidence of her lies (such as how did you find out what things she said, do you have a copy of that report?) then take them to a lawyer and see what can be done. If it wasn't to long ago, you could get some serious damages out of her.

100e0891___resize_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

Well, I can't get her blog stuff because we aren't friends on myspace (for good reason), and her profile was set to private. I tried to get a copy of the report when the oral board confronted me with what she said, but the department wouldn't let me have a copy so I could check her statements and sue for what she did. I was quite frustrated because I couldn't even counter what she said, or see the notes the investigator took. This all took place about 18 months ago, and I don't think I can do anything about it. I just wanted to know what I can do should this stuff come up in a hiring process in the future.

Photo_user_blank_big

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

Get a lawyer either way and FIND OUT what is going on and what you can do. If nothing else you can be prepared for the next time.

100_1981_3__max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

Talk to an attorney, that is your best bet.


"It would be better for one to have a stone tied around their neck and thrown into the sea, than to cause a child to stumble."

"Well-behaved women rarely make history"

Clarke_photo_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

The same thing was happening to me. I couldn't figure out why I was getting turned down for the different agencies for which I was applying. I would make all the way through the process, get to Captain's Review and get turned down. Then one day I found my ex-wife's notebook by shear accident, (she left in my daughter's backpack). She had notes on different ways to destroy my career and any chances of becoming a LEO. When I lived in Nevada, the agencies I applied at didn't want to see or hear anything I had. When I moved to Georgia and started the process with the Dept of Juvenile Justice, I gave them heads up and copies of the notes she wrote. They believed me and I got hired and she was shocked that I made it. All I can say is keep documentation on everything she does, contact a lawyer and when you apply again, put those copies in with your packet. Good Luck to you.

603027000639_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

I have an idea, why dont you give me her myspace address, I'll try and get copies and send them to ya....love to play cloak and dagger.....lol

In_the_woods_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

Can you say "H&K PSG-1? :)

Nikki_at_the_taste__5__max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

You definitely need to see a lawyer but I think the next hiring process you go through, inform them about her and explain to them everything she said before they find out. You should also stress that she is mental and needs to be committed:) If you ever have to communicate with her again, record and document everything! Good luck!

1z6tp9w_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

viperrob8
is right do it how he did it. if it worked for him might work for you : > )

100e0891___resize_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

Unfortunately, being in South Korea makes things difficult to contact people and obtain notes. I am not in contact with my ex and don't plan on it again either. I was actually able to access her myspace account today and found the post where she was trash talking me. Unfortunately, all she said was "I check my phone and I have a message from a police officer that needs me to call him and help with an investigation. That means my ex-fiance is up for the job and now I get tell the guy that Mark is a loser and shouldn't be hired at all. " So, I don't have much to stand on their either I guess. I copied everything down, even her rants where she sounds totally psycho. I will keep those for my records, but I need to get the notes the investigator took. I appreciate all of your input. I think I will try contacting that agency.