General Forums >> Law Enforcement Careers >> Family doesnt want me to become a LEO, what do i do?

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Family doesnt want me to become a LEO, what do i do?

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Posted over 4 years ago

 

 


I want to become a highway patrol trooper; this is my number 1 dream.  I am highly self motivated and am very sure that I want this to be my future career.  My parents know this is my dream career, my father supports me but my mother does not want me to become an LEO.  She fears that I may loose my life in the line of duty or suffer from a serious injury.  Should I reconsider a different career or not have the support of a family member or keep trying to become a LEO and hope my mother changes her mind?  I know this situation probably sounds silly and probably a waste of forum. But I would highly appreciate any advice given, maybe from someone that has experienced this in the past.


Thanks have a great day!


 

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Believe it or not being a law enforcement officer is in the lower half of in terms of the likelyhood of being killed because of the job.  For example a firefighter is more likely to die that a police officer, likewise a railroad engineer is more likely to die that a police officer.  If you want a safe job, be a accoutant, it is one of the safest jobs and has a low sucidie rate to boot, unlike being a dentist, one of the jobs wityh the highest suicide rate.  If a law enforcement officer practices safety at all times(like always using the seat belt and wearing the vest), he can reduce his chance of being killed, more officers die due to vehicle accidents that die from suspect gunfire.


If you truly feel called to be a LEO, I would not change my career plans, you need to do research on the dangers of many jobs and talk to your mother, point out the LE is not the most dangerous job in the world and is not an especially dangerous job, we just tend to hear about it more (for example, if a LEO is killed anyplace in the US or Canada, and some other places as well, I know about it within a few hours.  When a truck driver is killed, unless it happens within a few miles of where i live or he is from a few miles of where i live, i never hear about it).  You might also seek help from your dad it talking with your mom.

Sg_max50

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If it is your calling, no one can/should be able to change your mind. It's your life and it will be for the next however many years. Your Mom is just being a good Mom by looking out for her baby. You gotta fallow your heart on this one. You will know if this career is for you or not and others opinions will not matter, except for the background investigator's. JMO.

White_shirt_max50

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My mother did not want me to be a police officer and my dad was fine with it. You are an adult and you make adult decisions. Cut the apron strings and follow your dreams.

74596_129289523905506_927477597_n_max50

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Listen to Casscocop.


Honestly, give it time with your parents. My mom wasn't too surprised when I told her....wasn't TOO thrilled with it but didn't object to it....dad on the other hand was a different story (dad: "Vy the heck do yooo vant to be a policia officeer?")....


however, my mom and I talked to him about it...now he tells me all the time he's proud of me for pursing my goals =D


(Then of course, there's my grandma, whose all for it)


Pursue your goals no matter what anyone says.


Adapt, improvise and overcome.
YaYa Dancing Wolf

Strafzettel_max50

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my mother does not like that I am a LEO, in fact she hates it... but she also hated it when i was in the Marines. she is a dispatcher and has been for 23 plus years. she hates that i am a LEO but knows it is my calling. so supports me anyways...


"PL Mentoring Team Member".

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My Mama HATES that I am in the military and the I choose to be a cop.


Prove to your guardians that you have done your research.


My Dadieo at first said no- but I didn't throw a fit. I explained to him why and how I was going to go about it.


To this day my Dad is very stand offish about it all, but he and my mama respect my decision and sometimes get a kick outta stories...


Remember you won't be happy unless you do what you think will make you most happy!


Good Luck!!

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Casscocop says ...



Believe it or not being a law enforcement officer is in the lower half of in terms of the likelyhood of being killed because of the job.  For example a firefighter is more likely to die that a police officer, likewise a railroad engineer is more likely to die that a police officer.  If you want a safe job, be a accoutant, it is one of the safest jobs and has a low sucidie rate to boot, unlike being a dentist, one of the jobs wityh the highest suicide rate.  If a law enforcement officer practices safety at all times(like always using the seat belt and wearing the vest), he can reduce his chance of being killed, more officers die due to vehicle accidents that die from suspect gunfire.



Tell that to all the Accountants that worked in the World Trade Center on Sep 11 2001

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BSL you know how to bring all in spectrum...
waking up is just another chance at danger

Evil_max50

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Its your life you decide what to do with it.  Can't go around doing and not doing stuff as an adult because mom worries.  News flash she's your mom!  That is what she is suppose to do, its a law like gravity.


You have the rest of your life to solve the problem, how long your life lasts depends on how well you do it. -Clint Smith

Respect it

25-1-13-a_1__max50

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Mom did not want me to be a police officer......... didn't want my younger brother to join the army either.  She went as far as to have my 3-tour Vietnam Vet uncle talk with my brother about his decision to join the army and to talk him out of it.  Much to mom's surprise, when that conversation ended, she was told by my uncle that she had to respect my brother's decision to join the army as did he.  He in fact did join the army and I went on to pursue my LE career.  She wouldn't be mom if she wasn't a little afraid of the potential for harm coming to her little boy.  But as others have so stated........ It is your life and you need to cut some strings...... respectively of course.

Ferret_max50

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  Death is the inevitable for people ... it's going to happen anyway. Some people die sooner than others. Not all LEOs die from work related events; but, would you rather have your life end doing something that you love or have it end by doing something your mother wanted you to do? Don't live with any regrets! Plus, regardless if you're a LEO or a career criminal, your mother will always be your mother.


The integrity of your word is its greatest respect! - "Talon"

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My parents hated the fact that I was going into law enforcment. They see now, though, how happy I am doing it, and they are better about it now. Your family will be better with it as they see how happy you are doing it. But some advice, don't tell them about dangerous hot calls that you went on until they are more comfortable with your job as a LEO. That will take away any progress in acceptance that you have made.

Th_germanshepard_max50

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My only question would be: who's going to live your life, them or  you.


 


Beyond fatigue lies compensatory hypertrophy

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Respect your parents. Listen to their concerns. Live your life according your dreams and aspirations. Life is a one time go around. No second chances. Your life should be lived with commitment, integrity, honor towards your goal. When the time comes and you are 21 and you still feel the burning in your heart then only you can make the decision that shapes the future. A future that is the most noble of callings. 

Vscndsign_max50

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What's that one saying.. Father Knows Best!

Avatar_wild_max50

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DFrost says ...



My only question would be: who's going to live your life, them or  you.


 



Too true. If you feel the calling, do it. Would you rather sit in an office, hating your life for the next 30? Mother's are supposed to worry...that's what they do. You take into your account parents' feelings, but in the end, its their job to support you and hope they raised you right.


Heroes Live Forever!

Remember_max50_max50

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Put on your big boy britches and make the decision for yourself....

My_hk_p2000_sk_v2_max50

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Been there done that.  My wife and my mother were the ones voicing their concerns for my safety as a cop and I spent about six years after my military funtime trying to find something I wanted to do.  My biggest problem was, of the jobs I had before I began my career in LE.  I wasn't happy with any of them as for a career.  Caught some hell from my wife when I brought the application packet home.  I just told her, it's something I had to do and wanted.  Not so much a matter of my being my own man because I made the effort to try other things (job/career possibilities) first.  It was a lifelong dream for me since I was a kid but, I just knew being a cop was what I was meant to do.  But at the same time, you should never disregard or ignore your families love and caring for you.  You're still young, you have plenty of time to think about it and you should think it through.  If you were meant to be a cop, you'll know it and it should happen, barring something that would make you ineligible   LE is a calling, and I think everybody should try on a few different hats before deciding which one you want to wear, as for a career.JMO  Most cops, good cops, stay in LE once they get in there.  If you ask any of the LE types here, I think you'll find the majority worked or tried more than one job before they jumped into LE.  Being a cop means commitment from day one,  LE is not a bed of roses and cops are not always full of joy.  LE shouldn't be looked upon as, just a job.              

Csi_squirrle_max600_1__max50

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Follow your dreams, and your mom will understand.  She might not like it, but she will always be proud of her son the cop.  It's her job to worry so don't try to make her stop.  When you get into the field let her know that you will always be careful and always wear your vest, seatbelt, and all the other gear that makes your job safer. 

Tribal_cat_tattoo__2__max50

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I would definitely follow your dreams... if you don't, you will have regrets later on.  Trust me on this one.  You have been given some really good advice so far, by the way. 


"Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." - Ronald Reagan

20140718_195833-1_max50

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catwoman911 says ...



I would definitely follow your dreams... if you don't, you will have regrets later on.  Trust me on this one.  You have been given some really good advice so far, by the way. 



Yeah, what cat says!!!

Sg_max50

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I read all the posts, so what is the consensus?

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put on the big boy pants and do whatever he feels if right for his own life

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elaken says ...



I read all the posts, so what is the consensus?



Oklahoma Trooper dejoe

West_of_the_pecos_max50

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Follow your heart, follow your dreams. It's your life, live it. Your mom will come around. Mine didn't like the idea either. She did everything she could to try and talk me into another profession. She nows puts a blue light in the window at Christmas and supports what I do.


"You may know where you are and God may know where you are, but if dispatch doesn't know where you are. . . Let's put it this way - you and God better be pretty good friends." - author unknown

248853_179305798794357_100001448153252_490543_4649413_n_max50

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Follow your Dreams and live your life. ~Katrina


K.Logsdon
"You Have Only Failed, When You Have Failed To Try!"

"Nothing gives a person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances."

-Thomas Jefferson

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I know I have not replied to this topic ever since I posted.  I have read all of the replies and I am very thankful for what all of the members have typed.  I am glad that most of every piece of advice on this topic is the same, that way I would not have been confused in making a decision.   I know I want to become a trooper, so I will keep working hard on accomplishing the goal that I have set for myself.  I know I am probably not the only individual who has to deal with this situation but I want to say thanks again for all of your advice.  I understand you did not have to reply to the topic, you wanted too.


Thank you and God Bless.


Please have a safe day.


Joseph Lee Feathers


joseph.feathers@yahoo.com

25-1-13-a_1__max50

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Keep in mind one simple unchangeable fact......... It's a mother's job to worry about her children (especially her widdle boy) and as long as she is alive, she will continue to do so.  Following and going after your dream is not going to change anything nor is it a sign of disrespect to her.  She will be proud of what you have become and yet still continue to worry,

Daddy_in_uniform_max50

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Alright young man, here are my 2 cents; there is an aspect of this job you will not be taught in the police academy, which is the interoffice politics. If you think you are just going to put on a uniform jump into your patrol car & go lock up the bad guys, you are setting yourself up for failure. There is so much more to the "illusion" of this job. If I had it to do all over again, I would have obtained a degree in political science. It has been my experience that this job is dictated more by political agendas of your administrators & local government officals then it is by the written word of the law. If you don't want to become jaded in this life & in this carrer, learn to play the politics. It's a hard lesson to learn if you are going into this job with passion for right & wrong, honor & integrity. While those are wonderful traits to possess, I'm finding more & more that those traits can be looked upon as being a threat to others, which will ultimately cause you a lot of heartache down the road when you realize you need to watch your back in the station as much as you do on the streets. 


Law Enforcement has changed so much (for the worst in my opinion) that I too would take issue with one of my children wanting to be a police officer. Most city & county goverments are more concerned with liability that they take their officers descretion away from them to cut back on liability concerns, but often times put their individual officers in danger as they attempt to fullfill their duties. If you decide to go forward in this field of duty, always remember two things; 1st) Don't do or say anything that you wouldn't do or say on live television. 2nd) Know that under the command of most administrators when the crap hits the fan, they will be looking for a fall guy. Don't ever think you are not expendable in the eyes of your supervisors. If it comes down to right or wrong in a case like that, they will sell you out to keep their job. 


Don't get me wrong, not every supervisor is that way, but I've met more that are than I have those who aren't. Just venture carefully, that illusion of brotherhood isn't as prevailent as you might think it is. At any rate, you should get a degree in something that's not related to law enforcement so you have something to fall back on. It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but only one bad decision to destroy it.  My other advice would be not to jump on the 1st department that offers you a job, do your research & find the one dept. you want to work for. Research their Chief/Sheriff & make sure that their values reflect your own. Don't settle for less than what you want in a dept. Once you get on with this dept. know your dept. policy like the back of your hand & never deviate from what is outlined in that book while performing your duties. That coupled with the ability to make good moral decisions & "playing the politics", & you will be able to write your own ticket. Of course it goes without being said, always train, practice your safety & listen to that voice in your head that lets you know something is not right. Whatever you decide, I pray you will prosper.


Jason  


The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

Edmund Burke

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