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Taken from a Newyork Classified ad.

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Posted about 7 years ago


To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Watertown, NY night before last.

> Date: 2009-12-07, 1:43 a.m.  E.S.T.

> I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I

> hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my wife, threatening

> our lives. You also asked for my wife's purse and earrings. I can only hope

> that you somehow come across this rather important message.

> First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to

> actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.

> The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My

> wife had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my

> birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.

> Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at

> your head ... Isn't it?!

> I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with

> that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking

> bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with

> me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help

> mug us again].

> After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I

> explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up

> my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on

> your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was

> extremely grateful!

> I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van's Go Go, along with

> all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

> I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at

> the curb ... After I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the

> entire driver's side of the car.

> Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell

> just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little

> over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in

> two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while

> mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

> The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while

> he traced your number etc.).

> In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... But I feel this

> type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened

> crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather

> immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity

> to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to

> pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good

> day!

> Thoughtfully yours,

> Jim



> P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil

> society!



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Rated +1 | Posted about 7 years ago


This has made the rounds. A friend of mine from Georgia also sent this to me. I now have doubts that this even happened. The wording is the same as the attempt in Georgia.


2545 posts

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

Hello my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.

"It's not a constitutional violation for a police officer to be a jerk." Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy -December 4, 2000


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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago


Thanks jakesdad for posting the link. It sure has made the rounds. It was an interesting read.


1358 posts

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago




1106 posts

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago


 Still funny  to read. You Gotta admit!


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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago


now ,  THATS   hilarious !