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Things Cops Know

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English_max50

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Posted over 7 years ago

 

- The running speed of a German Shepard is at least twice that of the
average out of shape tweaker. If you are going to attempt to outrun one,
please calculate the "Rate x Time = Distance" formula ahead of time if you
want to avoid getting bit.

- If they say they "just met" another person, then they are close friends
who just commited a crime and don't want to be implicated with
aforementioned friend.

Anyone who goes out of their way to acknowledge you is hiding something.
Anyone who goes out of their way to ignore you is hiding something.

- If you get called to a 911 hangup and a guy answers the door with a 9
month old child in his arms and says "Oh, the baby must have accidentally
dialed it", he means he was just involved in a domestic that he doesn't
want you to know about. Sometimes the same guy has a $25k felony warrant
as well.

- If you borrowed a BMW from a friend it's not unreasonable to expect you
to know your friends last name.

- If you rob a gas station you're only going to get $20, but I get to see
a large K-9 dog use your arm as a chew toy. For all I care you can keep
the $20.

- If I can see a 12 year old in your house finishing a beer bong I don't
need a warrant.

- If they tell you they borrowed the jacket from a friend, just before you
search it, they've got something, and it's still gonna be their jacket.

- We get coffee breaks too, and sometimes we run into stores and do some
shopping during them.

- Any person who absolutely cannot sit still or hold a relevant
conversation to pertaining subject, and does not mention desperate need of
the lavatory, is either: 1) illegally transporting something 2) under the
influence or 3) posessing some felony warrant out for them.

- If I ask you the day or month you were born and you have to think about
it I don't believe your answer.

- If the company you entertain includes crack, meth, and/or heroin users I
may act like a professional when you call me for the burglary report but
I'm secretly laughing my ass off at the poetic justice of the situation.

- Speaking to me and starting your phrase with, "Screw you, you can't
do..." will quickly make you the victim of your own ignorance.

- EVERYONE lies. The bad guys lie to try to get out of trouble, the
victims lie to make their plight sound worse and/or to make the bad guy
look worse. The truth is usually somewhere in between.

- Nobody in the history of the world has ever had "just a couple of beers"
and then ended up in contact with law enforcement under circumstances
where the amount of alcohol they have consumed is a factor.

- I know ALL my cousin's last names. Especially the ones that I know well
enough to borrow their car. So should you. Unless they aren't really your
cousin.

- "I get a check" is not the answer that tells me you are a solid citizen
when I ask you where you work.

- No bathroom, ANYWHERE, in any house, is large enough to fit everyone who was in the house when the shooting happened. If you tell me you were
peeing outside when I point that out, you better be able to show me a wet
spot.

- If you look right then left more than once while talking to my face, you
are about to wear handcuffs or sit in the back seat of my unit, I do not
like foot pursuits.

- If I ask you "is there anything in the car that's illegal" and you say
"not that I know of" or "there shouldn't be".....I get very excited..it's
like Christmas morning.

Shedevil2_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

and - just because we're a block away doesn't mean we didn't see you toss the drugs ,we usually see you
before you see us

- when you're stopped for a citation , and you say " i pay your salary" , expect me to give you $6.31 .
at least that's what it comes to in b'ham , and you're still getting the ticket


...don't play with me , i'll keep you way up after your bedtime.....

Meangreen01_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Yelling, "I know my rights!" usually only gets you an impromptu class in how little you know.


"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." ~ George Orwell

"Honor First!"

MODERATOR #1 & PL Mentoring Team Member

Showletter_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

If you live in Section 8 housing, please refrain from using the phrase "I pay your salary". Technically, I pay your rent!!!


Someday, someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

1979_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

God I love those and they are SO true!

9-11-logo_max50

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kevin812 said:

If you live in Section 8 housing, please refrain from using the phrase "I pay your salary". Technically, I pay your rent!!!

And since you, Officer Friendly, are a tax-payer, YOU pay your salary as well as paying his rent.

Showletter_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Keppy, I tried giving myself a raise this year but it didn't work. Must only work for members of Congress.


Someday, someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

Img_0323_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

These were very funny. :)

9-11-logo_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

kevin812 said:

Keppy, I tried giving myself a raise this year but it didn't work. Must only work for members of Congress.

LOL!

Th_plugman1_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Saying, "Do you know who I am?" doesn't mean poop and it won't get you out of a ticket

9-11-logo_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

I read a good one tonight... "So you know my chief? Great! Maybe HE'LL bail you out!"

Photo_user_banned_big

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Speaking of all of these, 6 years ago, when i first started, I pulled over a car for speeding. I had the female driver step out from her vehicle and walk back to mine. I, at this point was standing in between the driver side tire and door of my vehicle. My F.T.O. ( field training officer ) was standing around the same area, but on the passenger side. As i had the driver stand in front of my vehicle, next to the push bumpers, She stated to me, do you know officer mike smith (slight name change)? I told her that i did and asked her how she knew him. She then said that they were close friends and she knew him for years. Laughing extremely hard under my breath, I looked at my F.T.O. and said, officer smith, do you know this lady? He then looked at the lady and advised her that he had never met her before. She then received her ticket and went about her way.

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Daneil34: Ha! That lady was an idiot! Lol

Piggycop2_1__max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Hilarious and oh so very true!

Me_4_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

I like hearing that county police cant write tickets in the city.

Photo_user_banned_big

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Cops know that Dunkin Donuts are made at 3 am/

Photo_user_banned_big

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Cops know that Sgts sleep on duty too, but are to good to get caught

Photo_user_banned_big

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Cops know that one doesnt leave the shift, sleepy, hungry, thirsty or horny

Photo_user_banned_big

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Cops know that the arrested is guilty and dont need a court to say otherwise.

Photo_user_banned_big

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Cops know that crown vics will not go as fast as the speedometer says it wil

Dscn1049_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Cops know how much bonus points an item will get you on your rewards card at the local gas station.

Dscn1049_max50

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Cops know that when a traffic stop starts with "I was just going... " that means the driver doesn't have a license.

Dscn1049_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Cops know that the Waffle House is open 24/7

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Rcbaron said:

Cops know that the Waffle House is open 24/7

and taco bell is open till 2am...and wendy's drive thu is open late. LOL

Brotherhood_badge_with_black_ribbon_max50_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

FCPD27 said:

I like hearing that county police cant write tickets in the city.

And University police aren't real cops....


Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

Dock_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

cops know when to seek out other cops with experience for guidance ( sorry, in serious mode right now)

Police-19_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

NMPoliceMemorial said:


FCPD27 said:


I like hearing that county police cant write tickets in the city.


And University police aren't real cops....


ISD cops are not real so I have been told while writing a citation


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Dscn1049_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

University Cops do know where the best view is at all times though.

Lobo_rip2_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

LOL. All of this is funny.