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Hi, just getting back into dating again, but why oh why does everyone (family and friends) think I need to date someone right away, have someone in my life.  

I know how you feel. I know I'm a man but I'm in a very similar position. I have full custody of my children and the ex lives 1300 miles away so there is no break from my children for dating for me. Not only that but apparently I only attract the women who are more drama than even I could imagine. I may not be a cop but I work a cops schedule and I am attempting to get into an academy as well.  Dating sucks!!!! lol

Well, that would potentially solve their problems and get them out of my hair. lol Doesn't help my problem. I took a girl on a couple of dates and after that she and I decided we weren't the greatest match and went about our ways. I didn't realize that, that meant ok I'm not dating you so I get to cry about everything that goes wrong in my life now. I have never heard such drama. I'm so very glad that didn't work out. lol

I feel your pain. Unfortunately my kids are too young to take on a movie date. Our nights are dinner and bed time then I sit up and watch some t.v. before bed. Woohoo go me! lol

Have a great day!

I think what they're trying to tell you is that you should CONSIDER finding someone. But if you deliberately look for a relationship, it probably won't be quality.

If you want to find love, open your eyes (to the idea of having a relationship).

MelanieATurner says ...

Don't let others pressure you into a new relationship.  It when happen when you least expect it to and then it will be right for you.   Enjoy your time with your kids.

Great  advice!

CaroleCBSA says ...

 

LOL you go!!!

My favourite was the 40+ guy who thought he needed someone more spontaneous (no children or responsibilities) then comes back a year later, saying he was wrong and needed someone more settled.  (found out his 23 year old honey had cleaned him out completely, house and bank account) lmao.  Drama, oh my they could be related.  lol

 

Have a great day!!!!

LOL well wouldn't that be funny. The girl that was all kinds of drama called me the other day and told me she went back to her and he nearly killed her. Not a good thing. Now she's trying to get me to be her "knight in shining armor" I'm thinking that's a bad idea and I'm not interested in that role.

HARDbutBREAKS says ...

My old school mother cant understand how a woman can  make it without a man. 

Sounds like my inlaws... They also have never seen a man taking care of a child, and any time they come over, they can't bear to see me change a diaper, feed or just hold the kids.

anyone saying they would not rather have someone is lying. Human beings are social animals, we are not meant to be alone. There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely, Ill be the first to admit. But no one wants to spend their lives alone...unless they are sociopaths.

Haven't we all been here. All things come in their time. Spend your time with your kids AND ENJOY THEM, this is an opportunity to bond. While it's important to get out, this is an opportunity for other things, right now.

A good man will show, as I have been waiting for that same LADY for a couple of years now. Drunks, irresponsible, crude, drama queens , selfish pricesses etc .. Where have all the ones gone?   Wait , he wil come for you and she will come for me. Just don't grab the first ring, it's only brass. I'm waiting for the gold ring

Alone is simply that, alone. Lonely on the other hand is NEEDING to have someone around. Alone based on ones own desire to be alone seems to connotate solitude to me. I am the kind of guy that likes to have his alone time for a couple of hours a day...no fiance, no cops from work, no Soldiers from my other work, no one calling me...my unwind time....often spent at the gym after my shift.

But on the same token, Id go freakin insane if it was like that all the time. Outside of that alone time, I need my Brazilian :)

If you have to question you reasons for a relationship then you are defininitely not ready. Hey, What's the rush?? It takes time to think things thru and know what YOU want to do with your live and  don't mistake the good will of friends to try to hook you up. Hey, you're living single again. You've got your kids. They come 1ST. when you're ready again and open to a loving kind person you want to be with forever..hey, it' will happen and you will know because a real lasting relationship is based on mutual respect along with TRUST. Sooo what the hollidays are coming and you don't want to be alone...No problem asks your most confidential friend about seeeting you up "with ?" Just to share in the holiday sprit and who knows things HAPPEN. Let it flow naturally, TOO SOON, it will drain you and become a downer...Not what I mean. Now go watch some Buch Savage. and guarantee that'l lighten any load. Just think about his poor wife. LOll... Happy Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. ..Margaret***

bfriskey. You are so correct. You failed only to mention the ones after the second date that hit you up for grocery money. There is a lot of drama out there and so much baggage.

Agreed. Modern invention and mass media put a lot more strain on relationships in many ways. Plus divorce is so prevelent and acceptable. People forget how to love unconditionally.

bfriskey says ...

Oh yes Chef, I've run into the morally bankrupt as well as the financially bankrupt. Too bad, it seems that we lost an entire generation to "conspicuous consumption!

Can't even recommend a good meeting place other than grocery shopping.You see things there that tell a story about the women you meet. Is she buying frozen or fresh food to prepare ? Lots of alcohol in the cart ? Cleaning supplies ?Tobacco and lots of other crutches..So I avoid certain types..

I look for fresh fruits and vegetables , name brands, clean unwrinkled clothes, same for any children with her, coupons OK,. These simple little hints show she cares about herself and her family even while not out actively seeking a partner this shows. She has self respect and minds her finances, unlike so many with more credit card debt than I have on my home, As corny as it sounds, clean and trimmed finger nails , not necessary polished. If she is w/o children ok if on a cellphone , after all is shopping a  relatively  boring task. If she is with her children, off the phone and paying attention to them. Is she mindlessly throwing 'stuff' into her cart  or actually taking time and care reading labels etc?

So I hope this helps some of 'us' . I'm still looking but this method has proven itself time and time again.There are so many good people out there, it's jsut hard to match then up.

Please don't take this as if I am judging people, I am not, I am merely attempting to stop falling victim to the same type of person who I know I can't partner up with.

So good luck out there and remember that "it only seems like there is no one for me !"

One of the best posts ever that I have seen regarding this sort of topic on PL. Good job.

I am pretty much convinced that when you are not really looking, someone you are interested in will come along.  Hard to say how or where that will occur, but time will tell.  I am finding dating to be an entirely different ballgame of sorts at this point in my life.  What can you do?  While living alone was a huge adjustment initially, I have adjusted for the most part.  Who knows??  Cheers!