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Cop Stereotypes

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Jpd_new_max50

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Posted over 5 years ago

 

Cop stereotypes.


Narcotics units


Grows facial hair and tells everyone he was ordered to.

Watches every episode of Monster Garage.

Buys a biker wallet with a big chain and gets numerous

tat's.

Every case involves overtime $$$.

Buys boats, RV's, and motorcycles with the overtime.

Plays golf drunk.


SWAT


Wears team T-shirts that are 2 sizes too small, Oakley

sunglasses and

boots every day.

Tries to fit the word "breach" into every

conversation.

Has a mirror handy to check hair, if he has hair.

Has 3 knives concealed on his person at all times.

Never says hello to anyone who is not an operator. Just

practices his

Head nods, and flexes biceps at every opportunity.

Subscribes to Soldier of Fortune & Muscle and

Fitness.

Plays golf wearing his .45.


Community Service


Hates SWAT.

Tries to make everybody love him.

Paints his office in pastel colors.

Thinks Feng Shui.

Subscribes to Psychology Today.

Plays miniature golf.


School Resource Officers


Starbucks before work, shows up on campus at 0800.

Knows every coffee pot on campus.

Sits behind his desk, pretending to work, but really

surfing the net.

Hates kids, but loves the hours.

Only talks to the really hot teachers.

Only works at night when there is a football game.

Drives a golf cart all day on campus.


Traffic


Writes tickets to EVERYBODY.

Spends every weekend cleaning bike and polishing boots.

Annoys everyone on the radio, calling out T-stops.

T alks only about how many tickets he wrote that day.

Rides by buildings with big windows to see his reflection.

"Golf is lame, motor rodeos are cool!"


Administrative Units


Three-hour lunches every day; tells everybody it's a

"meeting".

Always carries a manilla folder, so it looks like he's

working, even

if it is empty.

Upgrades department cell phone every month.

Tells everybody he has been published in a national law

enforcement

magazine.

Updates revenge list weekly.

"Golf Rules!" Plays lots of golf, especially with

"higher ups."


Patrol


Has nerves of steel.

Is in a terminal state of heartburn from department

politics.

Unable to keep mouth shut.

Has odd tastes in alcohol.

Is respected by peers.

Furiously beats the crap out of his caddy on every bogeyed

golf shot


Investigators


Comes in at 0800."Breakfast" from 0815 to 1030.

Works from 1030 to Noon.

Works out and Lunch to 1400.1400 -1700, sits in CID talking

about his

girlfriends and how the wife doesn't know. Then plans

his next RV,

fishing or motorcycle trip.


Patrol Sergeant


Fondly remembers, "how we used to do it."

Always willing to tell his officers about it.

Fits the word "liability" into every other

sentence.

Talks constantly about "what I'm hearing from

upstairs."


Trainee


Unable to grow facial hair.Watches every episode of

Cops.Worships the ground SWAT guys walk on. Wears

black leathe r gloves at all times.Arrives for work two hours

early.Thinks the sergeant is thrilled to see him.Won't

drink on a golf course because of the open container

ordinance.

 


"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
George Orwell

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”
― Sun Tzu

PL Mentoring Team Member

Dsc01102_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Hahah funny cause its true. I think stereotypes have some basis of truth to them.


Im Deputy Natalie J. and I approve this message !!!

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