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another fallen brother

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Shedevil2_max50

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Posted over 7 years ago

 

hey guys i need some help , another of our brothers down and the thin blue just got a little thinner . don't mean to sound well you know . lost a good friend and fellow officer last october and it really hurts , have been for the last couple of days ... stay safe guys .... i'm really attached to you all ... love you


...don't play with me , i'll keep you way up after your bedtime.....

9-11-logo_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

I am sorry for your loss, Val.

Shedevil2_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

thanks CK , just seems so senseless . an officer goes to help someone after they've run into apole with their vehicle and just like that , he does'nt go home to his family . i guess i just got a lot of things about my friends death still inside and this latest fallen brother peeled it back . i don't know quite why because he is in texas , but don't get me wrong no matter where he is he is still my brother . it's just that ( mary smith e-o-w oct 23 06 ) we worked together day in and day out for the past 17 years before she retired and now i'm working on 21 and well you know , i've seen my share . i have'nt always used great tact out here , but i get the job done . thanks for listening....


...don't play with me , i'll keep you way up after your bedtime.....

9-11-logo_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

It IS senseless, and it brings home (yet again) cops' vulnerability and the fragility of life. Sometimes it hits home more than other times.

I think everytime you witness/hear of another such incident, it brings back anything unresolved or unfinished about other losses. So, you could well still have issues relating to Mary deep inside, and others besides, perhaps.

That's real normal, by the way, and happens to all of us. It doesn't necessarily mean you haven't "done your work" around Mary's death. I think of it like a wound-- even after it heals, there are days the scar tissue aches.

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Sorry Val.

It's hard, but time will help in the healing process.

1979_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

As we get older, and wiser I hope, we tend to see more and more of our friends and family die in one manner or another. The do not even have to be killed by a gunshot or anything like that. We know that this job caused heart attacks, suicides, various communicable diseases, and I believe even cancer as I know so many of my brothers that worked radar developed cancer and died. A traumatic event often triggers some very strong reactions when we hear of another LEO's death. For you, it was the death of your dear sister. Mine was my own near fatal accident that disabled me. For a number of years right after that I could and often did get very emotional whenever I read of another Officer being killed in the line of duty. Shortly after my accident I cried and was almost inconsolable for a couple of days because a K-9 was killed defending his partner! It still tugs at my heart strongly when an officer goes down I guess because for the Grace of God, go I. We can only try to handle this in whatever manner we can that helps us be it faith in God or whatever. Just know that you are not alone Val.

Shedevil2_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

thanks guys you have no idea how much it means to me ,because just as i struggle i know that a lot of my brothers i work with each day still struggle . you see mary and i were kind of sort of opposites . she was the sweet one and i was the bad ass , had to be my brothers trained me well , but it was like when her goodness was gone a little bit of mine left too . guess i'm just feeling my own mortality and trying to get accustomed to this desk . i'm glad this link exists because too often i've gone to post a reflection on odmp and wish i had known a lot of our fallen brothers and sisters , you guys will always be family to me..... thanks again....


...don't play with me , i'll keep you way up after your bedtime.....