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Kids of cops

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Helmet_max50

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Posted about 5 years ago

 

I would like to hear about the struggles our kids have with the fact they have a parent in LE. how their friends react to this and the presure they get at school.   I have kids in High School, they have to deal with other kids who do not like the cops, they are always under the glass and if they try to defend them selfs the y are not treated the same way as their peers.  anyone else have kids in school that deal with this...?

The_finest-101_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

This thread is interesting to me as well.  I have three children, (daughter 12, two sons 9 & 8).  Recently there was an article in our local paper that had complaints about my department.  Officers were accused by some suspects of using too much force.  My daughter has been approached at her school now by a girl saying, "I heard your dad was there beating on those guys too."  So sitting down at dinner the other night my daughter asked me to explain what happened and if I was there.  Now, I had no problem answering her and the fact that my officers were justified in what they did made it easy.  I knew that as my kids got older the "cool" factor of me being a police officer would lessen.  I think it would be great to hear stories on what other LE dads have had to deal with or what I can expect.


STAY ALERT and WATCH THEIR HANDS!

Pow_smjpg_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

I was a "cop kid" back in the day ... one foot in "the normal kid stuff", the other in "FOP stuff and such".  No feet in anything on the other side of the law ever.  It was always an easy balance for me.  I just thought that whatever I did would be public and didn't want anything to reflect badly on my Dad, so that made my decisions in life pretty clear cut and easy.  It never kept me from doing the things I wanted to do and never cost me good friends.  I was lucky that way.  Must admit, did have some scares though.  Some really not nice stuff from people that wanted to harm cops.  You know, "the threat note" in the mailbox and the nasty calls sometimes.  Stuff that back then was nothing like today so that is always a consideration for cop-kids and always has been.  I was taught to ALWAYS be aware of my surroundings, that really served me well and wanted to pass that on.  My dad was a Vice and Narc Det, later a Sgt.


Many generations of LEOs have served and gone before us. Always Honor them by doing a "Job Well Done" today.

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

BTW, my son never really had a hard time of things either.  Was proud to have a mom that was 911.  He's a US Army Soldier now and combat vet War on Terror.  So he did ok,  :)


Many generations of LEOs have served and gone before us. Always Honor them by doing a "Job Well Done" today.

Metacchandler_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

im proud to know my Dad is a LEO and I don't hide it! All the kids that say crap and try to pick fights are the pot heads who have been in cuffs numerous times so for all I care they can insult me all they want but I really don't care. Just because they think its "uncool" doesn't mean I do. I get some trouble but I do all I can to avoid and ignore it. You can't let it bother you. If the situation comes where they keep attempting to use violence or hit me they dont understand a leos son can take anything and do double right back. CANNOT WAIT TO BE A LEO THEN I CAN DO MY OWN DRUG BUSTS ON THEM POT HEADS!!!


ANY LEO  SONS/DAUGHTERS KEEP YOUR HEADS HIGH AND DON'T LET IT BOTHER YOU!!


-Ralph


PS Im not some adult with a moral boost im 13 so Im being honest


-Ralph Jr, Sheriff's Explorer
Retired Officer's Son
www.RalphsPoliceCollection.weebly.com

Metacchandler_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

You know your a leo's kid when...


-You have to rush to get a booth facing the door at a restaurant...continue


-Ralph Jr, Sheriff's Explorer
Retired Officer's Son
www.RalphsPoliceCollection.weebly.com

Hudson_river_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

I'm an adult child of a retired NY State Trooper...


The community I lived in was small...which had its advantages and disadvantages.  Being a LEO, my dad did have friends outside the force, but most were friends from his days in high school.  Many of his friends were LEO’s from towns outside of the barracks in which he was stationed- which was our home town.  As you know- it's almost a “members only” lifestyle in a lot of ways....so much of my experience being surrounded by friends of the family were with fellow LEO's- judges-and other state/county “type” people. The group of guys and their families were great...and I have fond memories of times shared.  The downside is the unintentional alienation it can sometimes cause the family- probably more so due to being from a rural area. 
 
Most of the negative experiences I had in relation to my father’s job were due to his duty to enforce the law in the community in which I lived…which he did. And when he did- if it was with someone from the community who had a child I went to school with- there was sometimes a carry-over from the disgruntled parent to the child. Sometimes it bothered me…but most of the time I knew there was nothing I could do about it. Probably my most memorable experience that affected my whole family (sorry dog lovers) is when our family dog wandered off and my father found him day’s later- shot….near the home of a local resident who had recently been arrested by my father. There was no way of proving it…but this is the kind of stuff- being from a small town that people sometimes do as retaliation.
 
My fondest memories are days of Trooper Picnic’s…camping trips with LEO families….and being just plain ol’ proud of my dad and what his role was. Having him come into the school to demonstrate how a breathalyzer works (embarrassing at times, yes), getting to sit in the Troop Car and play with the lights etc., and of course there is the perk of the “professional courtesy” I have been extended when my foot would get a little heavy.
 
I think no matter where you are- if you are a family member of a LEO, there is going to be talk of corruption- you just have to let is go- as a child.
 
On a side note- I strongly feel that (if there isn’t already) there needs to be more enforcement of stress management for police officers (and their families)- and an understanding of how their job truly does affect the relationships with their spouse and children. There is a need to develop emotional distance in this job- and feelings can not be turned on and off easily- between family life and the roll of a LEO- especially after a difficult event for the officer. 
 
Time away with family- alone- I think is “key” for reinforcing the family bond- that can often be tugged at in ways other families don’t experience. “Normalcy” is important- it facilitates a feeling of safety. And…of course provides more happy memories.
I am proud to be the daughter of a NY State Trooper. It is an honor.


Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.
Albert Einstein

Metacchandler_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

You said it! You hit it right on the nail couldn't of said it better! (and yes I play with the lights too :-)  - one time me and my cousin were in the driveway of my house playing with the lights and a car was going by and they stopped boy did we get our buts chewed! :-)  also I can look up my friend's parents license plates its pretty funny! Good times good times! 


-Ralph Jr, Sheriff's Explorer
Retired Officer's Son
www.RalphsPoliceCollection.weebly.com

Hudson_river_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

I'm old school bud!!!


We're talking no laptops....and triplicate carbon copy tickets....


Messing in the car was just as much fun, though.   You're 13??  So I'm sure you've heard about some of the jokes they play on each other...


My favorite...my dad and his partner put Limburger Cheese on the engine block of another officer's car....and as it melted...smelled like something died!! (Course that's the way he tells it!!)  And....he still tells it!!!!


I never get sick of hearing the old tales...and fun times they did have...and they still get together.  My dad retired in 1995...they still act like they are rookies!


It's tough at times...but know- you're dad's a good man...doing a tough job.  It's nice to see you are proud of your dad....I'm sure he loves hearing it!!


 


Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.
Albert Einstein

Metacchandler_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

im whole new generation heh heh. My Dad did a bunch he put a bunch of nuts and bolts in the hub cap center thingy of another officer's car wheel and his whole shift he had to listen to that crap jingling around I have heard a million other stories thats just 1


I remember the old carbon tickets too laptops in squads haven't been around too long


-Ralph Jr, Sheriff's Explorer
Retired Officer's Son
www.RalphsPoliceCollection.weebly.com

Batman_max600_1__max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

When I would arrest or issue a Notice to Appear to high school kids the next day my son would hear about his old man hassling them. He would tell them to not do stupid S**t and he would not arrest them. They did not like it but they knew he was right. My Son is now applying around the state to become a Law Enforcement Officer. This old man is very proud of him.


Bad stuff happens to good people, handle it and overcome.
My motto for life:
Let go and let GOD,
Only HE can control everything.

Photo_user_blank_big

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

Our kids never had an issue with their dad being a cop, until he was nearly killed by a blast wave while working as a bomb tech.  Four years later, they are still struggling to deal with it.  Our oldest was 17 at the time, and his grades plummeted.  He still made it to college, but then flunked out.  He is finally getting back on his feet, and just after his 21st birthday, he joined the Army.  We are very, very proud.


Our middle child is still struggling.  For the youngest, his dad has been disabled for so much of his life, that I think it is just normal for him.  We have always tried to keep the kids' lives as normal as possible, even after the injury, but it has been really hard, because of the medical and legal games that the city has been playing. 

Policelinkbadge_max160_max160_max160_max160_max160_max50_1__max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

It would be hard for me to say that his job has affected the kids that much. They are teenagers, so nothing we do is cool. But the only bad thing I can think of is our oldest daughter swears his badge was the reason no one would date her in high school. The youngest gets a kick out of stupid people- new kid on the school bus a couple weeks ago went wierd over the fact that my girls dad is a cop. Yea, we know that genius. I don't think it has hurt or helped them at all. It just is what it is, and that is how we treat it.

Explorer_mourning_badge_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

ADK2842 says ...



I'm old school bud!!!


We're talking no laptops....and triplicate carbon copy tickets....


Messing in the car was just as much fun, though.   You're 13??  So I'm sure you've heard about some of the jokes they play on each other...


My favorite...my dad and his partner put Limburger Cheese on the engine block of another officer's car....and as it melted...smelled like something died!! (Course that's the way he tells it!!)  And....he still tells it!!!!


I never get sick of hearing the old tales...and fun times they did have...and they still get together.  My dad retired in 1995...they still act like they are rookies!


It's tough at times...but know- you're dad's a good man...doing a tough job.  It's nice to see you are proud of your dad....I'm sure he loves hearing it!!


 



If you enjoy those kinds of tales I know of a great book for you!  Bryan Gregory is a retired NC State Trooper, and a friend of mine.  It is called The ole' Man on the Porch: The Trooper.  If you go to my site, his book is in "My Gear".  Or any of you can PM and i can answer any other questions you may have!  My dad is not an LEO but i still love to hear those stories too!


"Live every day like its a good stopping point"
_WNP '89-05

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

I am son a L.E.O. of almost 20 years. actually its alot to deal with....i grew up in a town where you defenitely have to be tough and no nonsense additude to survive, middle school and high school, I mean its funny because if i go back to as far as I remeber, I've always had friends and associates name calling, scared to do certain things around me, the lack of trust was there but just until they understood that i was just another kid.  It really didnt pressure me to fit in, or to do deviant things to proove myself, cus i was happy to be a son of a L.E.O, and regardless I was very popular due to athletics....i cant speak for anyone else but it i beleive what type of knowledge and morals you put into your kids is goin to reflect not only in their actions but in there additude and self esteem.  What I'm saying is i beleive if they dont have thier own identity and worry about what kids think they will make more mistakes then a normal kid. 

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Rated +1 | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

I'm not a son of a LE officer but I have an interesting story anyway. There was a very religious man in my community who was a factory worker. He was a very highly thought of man in our town and was even a deacon at the local church. He decided in his early 30's that he wanted to be a Kentucky State Trooper. He kept fairly quiet about his decision until he was back home and had passed the academy. He was the same old guy not changed a bit and didnt have the "oh look at me i have a badge" syndrome. Not long into his tenure he got into a situation were he had to shoot a guy at  a domestic violence call because the man pulled a gun on him. The community instantly black balled the Trooper and he was even forced out of his own church. Everyone told him he couldn't go to heaven because he broke one of the commandments and killed a person. The troopers son was my best friend and I couldn't tell you how many fights I personally got in because the people wouldn't leave him alone about his dad. The trooper went into a deep depression and even considered quitting his job for a long time. He finally came to the realization that he was not at fault and that it was either shoot him or be killed and now he is back to enjoying his job full time. I think it's a pitiful shame that our community turned its back on an upstanding citizen and not to mention one hell of a Trooper.

Flag_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

 I don't really think it makes any difference what the parents do, not until something bad happens.

Hudson_river_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

pdwife says ...



It would be hard for me to say that his job has affected the kids that much. They are teenagers, so nothing we do is cool. But the only bad thing I can think of is our oldest daughter swears his badge was the reason no one would date her in high school. The youngest gets a kick out of stupid people- new kid on the school bus a couple weeks ago went wierd over the fact that my girls dad is a cop. Yea, we know that genius. I don't think it has hurt or helped them at all. It just is what it is, and that is how we treat it.



You're right...they are teenagers...and as a parent- you are not only "not cool"  ('m one too)....you/we are often the last one's to know how our kids feel about a lot of things.....


As far as your daughter's statement about not getting dates because of her dad's badge....she's not kidding.  I had guys from  my high school (graduated 20 years ago) tell me as a teenager ...."I like you....but...you're dad's a cop". So I ended up dating (movies, etc) outside of my school system. And- at my 10 year high school reunion...had my high school crush for years tell me he liked me back....but never said anything.  His quote...."You're dad carried a gun! I saw myself getting you home late from a date- and him in the "man chair" in the living room in his uniform....just that thought made me chicken out".


Tell her I can relate....


 


Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.
Albert Einstein

Photo_88_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 4 years ago

 

My dad was an officer. Well, still is. It just affects me differently now since I'm in dispatch :p


I just graduated HS May of '08, so it wasn't real long ago that I was there. As a kid, I was mischevious, but I was also kind of a do-gooder. I spent most of my school career in Hamilton County (Chattanooga, TN), and the kids reacted depending on their...erm...personal choices. Good kids didn't care...trouble makers kept their distance. When I got to Sequatchie County, which houses one VERY small little town, I was just under the microscope a lot. I just did what I could to fly under the radar, and minded my Ps and Qs when I was directly in the public eye.


An imagination was given to man to compensate for what he is not...
...And a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

Police-women_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 4 years ago

 

 


Having been from a family of LEO’s and now in LE it can be negative and positive.
In both instances I was in (still am) smaller communities so everyone knew, who you were and who you’re families members are.
 
Back in the day, never got much grief, was the only girl and second youngest and all boys were 6’3” 6’4’ so did not have to deal with too much.
 
My kids however times have changed and youth today have no boundaries. They do put up with some grief but a lot ahs to do with that I am strict and they get teased about not being able to do certain things. The most grief some get are my guardianships who have to deal with their biological families and some of the attitudes towards LE in general, but overall I try as much as possible to keep the communication open and try to compromise when I think it is safe to do so. 
 
The only thing my kids really… really hate is when we are out on a family outing and someone stops us to try and tell me “a bad LE story” or ask a work related question. They think it’s rude and they are right………..


The world is not all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it is not about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward,!

Evil_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 4 years ago

 

My dad was and still is a cop.  I only told my closest friends the older I got, of course it still got around.  He was out for a little while when I was in HS. 


I tell my daughter to not tell anyone what her mother and I do.  My ex is a part time officer for another agency.  I no longer live where I work so keeping it under wraps is easier.  NEVER again will I live where I work. 


You have the rest of your life to solve the problem, how long your life lasts depends on how well you do it. -Clint Smith

Respect it

Lone_ranger_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 4 years ago

 

I've been blessed with two wonderful, conservative, Christian, redneck, daughters.  Both are proud of me and what I stand for.  Their core group of friends know me and I am active in their schools and other functions.  Niether of them go around telling others what I do for a living but don't let someone start bad mouthing LEOs in front of them.   I didn't raise them to be blind to the world, they have had opportunities their friends will never have because of my career.  One had to write a paper on STDs for health class, so I took her out to lunch with a prostitute.  After the teacher called me to verify this, she made a 110.  The other hasd to write a paper on choices and living with the results, turned out to be one of the best meetings our group of LEOs who had survived when the other guy didn't had ever had.  It gave her a great paper and insight into my bad days.


"You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone"- Al Capone

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69449_1211356382103_1774586232_374199_4168085_n_1__max50

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Rate This | Posted over 4 years ago

 

I'm lucky to have two boys (6 and 7) who think what I do is awesome. But I know that will begin to lessen the older they get/ the more negative attention that is put onto them becuase of what I do. I try to remind them that not everybody likes cops. I have even talked tomy oldest about what to do if we are out in public and someone confronts me. The older they get though, the more they will understand why we have an action plan in place.

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Rate This | Posted over 4 years ago

 

IM A ARMY BRAT AND A COP BRAT, BEEN INVOLVED WITH MY DAY FOR 30 PLUS YEARS WHILE HE WAS A COP, I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY COOL, EVERY NOW AND THEN DAD WOULD COME PICK ME FROM SCHOOL IN HIS CRUISER, BUT  NOW THAT IM A COP OF 8 YEARS, I HAVE SEEN A DIFFERENCE IN MY FOUR SONS, MY OLDEST WHO HAS ALREADY GOTTIN KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL, HAD JOINED A GANG, AND I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS GOING ON, HE TOLD ME THAT HE WAS BEING MESSED WITH AT SCHOOL, AND I DIDNT LISTEN, MY THIRD SON GOT KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL FOR SEXUAL HARRASMENT, HE TOLD ME ABOUT IT AND I DIDNT LISTEN, MY OTHER TWO SONS HAVE OVERCOMED AND ADAPTED TO MY PROFESSION AND TO MY WIFES WHO IS A 911 DISPATCHER, BUT THROUGH IT ALL WE WORK IN A ENVIROMENT, WHERE WE LISTEN TO PEOPLE AND THERE PROBLEMS, WHERE IS OUR LISTENER. IT IS OUR FELLOW OFFICERS, WHO ARE THERE EVERYDAY PUT THERE LIFE ON THE LINE AND THOSE DISPATCHERS WHO GET US TO THE CALL SAFETLY. I HAVE LEARNED OVER THE YEARS NO MATTER WHAT YOUR JOB IS, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A PARENT AND A FRIEND. THANKS FOR READING,  SGT. T. GRADY

Batman_max600_1__max50

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Rate This | Posted over 4 years ago

 

tgrady, sorry to hear about the problems that your family is enduring, but it will get better. My daughter ran with a rough crowd and was unhappy when I started this career path but now she tells me that she loves me being a COP. My son is now in his 7th week of MT. Law Enforcement Academy and I am proud of him. He had to write a paper about his heroes. He told them that I am his hero. This choked ole Dad up. The other hero in his life is my 5 YOA Grandson who has had 5 open heart surgries and is tougher than any COP I know. As a fellow L.E.O. I to am guilty of listening to people on the street and helping them with their problems and thinking that my home life is good and I don't need to intervene as my kids are well adjusted. But that is not always the case. Don't get caught up in this trap our families need us more than ever and we need them. I know you are tired when you get home but still take time to listen to your children. They don't remember the things you buy them but they remember the times you spend with them. Hope this helps, stay strong, stay safe and above all GOD Bless.


Bad stuff happens to good people, handle it and overcome.
My motto for life:
Let go and let GOD,
Only HE can control everything.

Lori_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 4 years ago

 

 


<!--Session data-->
 

My children are young, so have not crossed this hurdle yet but I do worry about it.  I would love to hear more stories from children of police officers. :)  My husband was the child of two police officers and so he knows what it was like - I am pretty clueless in this regard. 


Pseudonym of Princess Leia

Check Out http://www.thetenfour.com

Hudson_river_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 4 years ago

 

Hi All!


I just stared a new group named:   "Growing Up Five-Oh"...Adult "Kids" of Cops


I'm not sure how to post a link- or if there is a way to...but wanted to expand on this topic to reach those of us out there that grew up in a family that either one or both of our parents were LEO's- or directly involved in the law enforcement community.  I'm interested in hearing stories of how this unrecognized and unique experience has influenced our outlook on life- as well as our personal goals, obsticles, perks, and "place" in a world that is very different outside the "home barracks" and LEO culture.


If anyone knows if there is a way to put an age limit on this group (18 years old or older to post) please let me know. 


Be the first to start a discussion!  Would love for this to be an area where we can speak freely- establish friendships- and just find some unity in a life experience noone but us kids who grew up "Five-oh" would truly understand the complexity of- in all its unique ways.


Much love to my fellow "Five-Oh" Adult- "Kids"!!!


René


Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.
Albert Einstein

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Rate This | Posted over 4 years ago

 

Here is the link: http://policelink.monster.com/groups/3504-growing-up-five-ohadult-kids-of-cops

Hudson_river_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 4 years ago

 

Thanks so much!!


Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.
Albert Einstein

Mccool_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 4 years ago

 

My son is 17 and has had a little trouble with a few hooligans. (mostly because I've arrested either them or their parents)  Anyway, the thing I wanted to be clear to him was that he was NOT to use my occupation as a "get out of jail free" card.  And he knows that if I find out he tried this, it's not gonna be good.  It's just happened too much around here and I refuse to take part in such corruption.  He must learn that using a leo parent's occupation to usurp the law in any way is not only wrong, but it's insulting to the officer he's in contact with.

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