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LE Jokes (keep it clean)

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Desert_max50

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Posted over 5 years ago

 

I am always looking for LE jokes and appreciate others, Feel free to post the funnies here to share with others.


 


Curly

Canadian_navy_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

A blonde cop is sitting on the side of the road in her cruiser when a convertible goes flying by doing about 70 in a 35 zone.


She takes of after the car with her lights and sirens going and pulls the car over.


When she approaches the vehicle she sees the driver is another blonde.


She asks for her drivers lisense to which the blonde driver responds "What's that "?


The blonde officer replies" It is that thing you get so you can drive a car".


The blonde driver thinks for a moment and then hands the officer her car keys.


No No NO the officer responds It is a little square thing with your picture on it.


The blonde driver thinks for a moment and the goes rummaging thru her purse.


She pulls out a small makeup mirror and opens it up and after looking at it for a few seconds she hands it to the blonde officer.


"Is this it"  she asks the officer?


The blonde officer then takes the compact and takes one look in it and says " Oh geez why didn't you tell me you were a cop."


Have a nice day!


:-)

Desert_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

Thats good

11042009255_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Two blonds are driving down the highway, about 90mph, when they pass a highway patrolman on the side of the road. 


Passanger Blond - Oh no, we just passed a cop!


Driver Blond - Its ok.  Is he following us?


Passanger Blond - Yup.


Driver Blond - Its still ok.  Are his lights on?


Passanger Blond (looks) - Yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no


 

Image_max50

16 posts

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

MORE JOKES MORE JOKES


KEEP THEM COMING !!! LOL LOL LOL LOL

Eastercat_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

 Three  blonds were all applying for the last available  position on the Texas Highway  Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So  y'all want to be cops, huh?"

The blonds  all nodded.

The detective got up, opened  a file drawer, and pulled out a  folder.  Sitting back down, he opened it,  pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a  detective, you have to be able to detect. You  must be able to notice things such as  distinguishing features and oddities like  scars and so forth."

So saying, he stuck  the photo in the face of the first blond and  withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now,"  he said, "did you notice any distinguishing  features about this man?"

The blond  immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and  said, "Of course he has only one eye in this  picture! It's a profile of his face!    You're dismissed!"

The first blond hung  her head and walked out of the  office.

The detective then turned to the  second blond, stuck the photo in her face  for two seconds, pulled it back, and said,"What  about you?  Notice anything unusual or  Outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He  only has one ear!"

The detective put his  head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you  hear what I just told the other lady? This is  a profile of the man's face! Of course you  can only see one ear! You're excused  too!"

The second blond sheepishly walked  out of the office.

The detective turned  his attention to the third and last blond and  said, "This is probably a waste of time,  but...."  He flashed the photo in  her

face for a couple of seconds and withdrew  it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything  distinguishing or unusual about this  man?"

The blond said, "I sure did. This  man wears contact lenses."

The detective  frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in  the folder. He looked up at the blond with a  puzzled expression and said, "You're  absolutely right! His bio says he wears  contacts! How in the world could you tell  that by looking at his picture?"

 

The  blond rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Hellooooooooooooo!  With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."


YaYa Sister

Nintendo_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

A highway patrol officer spots a car driving 15 m.p.h on a roadway designated 65 m.p.h.  Knowing that this is nearly as dangerous as speeding, he pulls the car over. 


As he approaches the car he notices that all the occupants are nuns and all look terribly scared!


The nun who is driving explains that the speed limit sign stated that the limit was 15. 


"No, no," says the officer.  "That's the highway number.  You're on State Route 15.  By the way, may I ask why all your passengers look so frightened?"


The nun who is driving replies, "Well, we were just on Highway 101 a minute ago!"


"I have a strict gun control policy. If there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it."

- Clint Eastwood

Trademekiwilogonzpa60_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

A motorist is stopped after rolling through an intersection controlled by a stop sign. The officer explains that he should have come to a complete stop. The motorist replies, "That's rubbish - I was going slow enough. What's the difference?"


Officer - "Well driver if you step out of your vehicle to the side of the road, I'll show you." 


When the motorist does the officer takes out his baton and starts beating the motorist. "Tell me driver, do you want me to come to a rolling stop or a complete stop?"