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Funny cop quotes!

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Posted about 8 years ago


Today's Featured Humor : -) - Funny Things Said by Police

1. I'm sorry Ma'am, but with the unlicensed gun in your purse plus the DWI, you ARE a real criminal.

2. Hey John, get out of the cruiser and come over here to say "Thank You." We stopped the guy who pays OUR salary!

3. Yeah, I do have bank robbers to catch, but that might be dangerous, so I'm going to play it safe and write you this ticket.

4. Hurry it up? Sure, I'll just go back to the cruiser and write the citation. Do you have food and water in the car? This shouldn't take more than six hours.

5. Do you know why I stopped you, or do you THINK like you Drive?

6. What do you mean I won't believe you? Just because you've got three kilos of smack and two bodies in the trunk doesn't mean there isn't a perfectly reasonable explanation.

7. No, you've got that WRONG. I'm even TOUGHER without the badge and gun.

8. Of course you didn't DO it. You just happened to start your wind sprints in front of the department store, the VCR is extra weight, and the security guards were providing MOTIVATION.

9. She STARTED it? That's the best you can do? My four-year-old does better than that when I ask why his sister is crying.



A failure is someone who quit trying.


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Rate This | Posted about 8 years ago


You didn’t think we give pretty girls tickets???.... You’re right, we don’t.

The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?

"Just how big were those two beers?"



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Rate This | Posted about 8 years ago


"What do you mean you slowed down for that stop sign?"   "If I was hitting you in the head with a hammer would you want me to slow down, or stop?"


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Rate This | Posted about 8 years ago


"license and registration meow"

" The more you sweat while training, the less you bleed in the street."

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Rate This | Posted about 8 years ago


My favorite.

"If you take your hands off the car again I will make your birth certificate a worthless document!"