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Police Wives' Perspective

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Posted almost 6 years ago

 

Hi!  I've been a police wife for 20 years and have seen, felt and experienced all the stresses this job can bring to a family.  I have written and published one book on mentoring, but now want to do a type of devotional book for police wives.  I am looking for stories with humor, hope, and/or courage which has helped overcome the fears, stresses and disappointments of law enforcement life. 


If you have a story you would like to tell, I would love to hear it.  My prayer is that God will mold all this together so that it will be something that will greatly encourage any woman who shares her life with an officer.


Don't try to make this harder than it seems.  Just tell a personal story of something that has happened with regards to your husband's/boyfriend's job that affected you.


Thanks and many blessings for the new year!


Kristi - Psalm 29:2

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Rate This | Posted almost 6 years ago

 

As you have heard, a lot of cops get divorced. Before I started as a Deputy Sheriff, I was married to my first wife. She was excited for me to become a cop since it was a life long dream. Once I became a cop, she couldn't understand why I worked passed my normal work hours, was talking to other women (as part of my job), and always leaving in the middle of the night. After a while, I was being accused of adultery and demeaned by calling me names or saying my uniform was nothing more than a "costume." Eventually, it forced me to leave that marriage behind to continue my career in law enforcement. I met my current wife, who is not only supportive, but one of my dispatchers. She knows what its like to work shift work and knows that I'm working passed my normal work hours to complete reports or handle calls for service. Life has been so easy to deal with now that I have a wife that understands law enforcement. I watch my fellow co-workers going through similar problems with their wives and I see co-workers having a wonderful marriage with spouses that work shift work or are dispatchers themselves. I don't mean to say your marriage could be bad or good since I don't know you, but wives that are not directly in law enforcement, medical field, or EMTs, or whatever, don't understand. Some think they do, but they don't. Questions like- why is my husband leaving in the middle of the night? Why is he late for dinner? Why does he have to work on Christmas? Why do so many people know him? And my favorite- Why do all these women know him? And talk to the women (in law enforcement) with husbands that aren't in law enforcement. Geez. Those poor women get all kinds of grief at home. My current wife is so, not selfish, that she allows me to work overtime, and respond on call-out for SWAT. To those that can make it with a spouse not in law enforcement, more power to you!

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Rate This | Posted almost 6 years ago

 

Thank you for your comments and for so being so open.  It is hard for police wives to understand the stresses of the job, but after 20 years of marriage to it I, personally, have learned to accept a lot of the time away, calls in the night, etc.  That's the whole purpose of this book...to help other women cope and give them encouragement, so they in turn can be an encouragement to their husbands.  My husband is a wonderful man and has always tried to make myself and our children feel as if we were number one.  Our strength comes from God and through our faith in Him.   


The funny thing is about all this, I am a writer and speaker.  My man knows nothing about that and it is definitely not his world.  Soooo, when I'm doing my thing, he doesn't always understand it either though he's very supportive.  It takes me away from him and the family at different times for days at a time.  It just works.  Who knows...maybe he will write a book about that!  :)

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Rate This | Posted almost 6 years ago

 

I'm so sorry to hear how unhappy you are, and can absolutely relate with the loneliness.  I could tell you all the things you want to hear, but that would not help you in the long run.  The truth is, no man whether a great husband or an absent one can bring you the contentment, love and satisfaction that you so desire.  There is only one person that has filled that void and helped me become the wife/person that I was meant to be...that is Jesus Christ.


My best suggestion to you at this point is to find a Christian Police Wives Support group or join a Women's Ministry group at your local church.  Then spend time with God and allow Him to begin a new work in you.  Your husband will see the difference it makes and may even find more opportunities to spend time at home.  Bless you and I will be praying. :)


Kristi

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Rate This | Posted almost 6 years ago

 

hate to be a pain, but instead of praying try talking to  him more. ask him to go to coffee with you, make time for you and him. If he is putting all his efforts into his job there might be a reason. Its a form of cheating, and most people cheat becasue of emotional letdown. Listen to him, even if it seems stupid. Go for a walk, pick a flower, do easy things, find common ground. good luck

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Rate This | Posted almost 6 years ago

 

Though I agree with rickm that you need to try and do things with your husband, I don't agree that you should forget about praying.  Boy do we underestimate the power of prayer!  There are definitely issues that the two of you need to work out...is there any chance he would seek Christian counseling with you? 

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

Kristi,


  I just found this forum and am so glad to see someone with much experience and time as a policeman's wife. Most importantly, a Godly woman who knows that being the wife you are called to be and that your husband needs is only possible through the Lord. I would love to talk to you further about the things the Lord has shown you and how He has grown you over the years to be the wife your husband needs, and what some of those needs are, specific to law enforcement. God has shown me a lot recently about how my faith in Him and time in His word everyday are the only things that are going to make me successful as the woman and wife He has created me to be. Hopefully I will get to talk with you. Thanks for the encouragement through this post and the reminder of how much I need the Lord and His power to mold me into His Son.


Ericha

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

 Is it just me or did the replies to the original posting seem completely unrelated - especially the very first one?


I came here as a result of a Google search to find Christian women married to Police Officers.  Another early morning call-out.  i'm not upset with my husband - trying to keep some people straight - just concerned for his safety and the safety of the many others who got called out.  After praying, i thought " surely there must be some forum for Christian wives of Law Enforcement where we could pray for one another's husbands and departments."  


I live in Pinellas County, Florida.  My heart breaks for the families left behind by the recent murders of officers in our county.  My heart breaks that every day so many LEOs walk into situations that could result in the end of their life on earth do so with no thought of eternity or a false sense of security about their eternity.  


Praying to the Only God Who is Able 


Jude 24, 25

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Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

The first post is 2 years old. It doesn`t make sense because some people leave and delete their profiles. There are alot of cops wives on PL. I am one. You could always start your own group or forum. Make sure you read the TOU`s and post an introduction first. This website is loaded with cops their families and supporters. It`s a great place.