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Your Experiences

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Colt_max192w_max50

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Posted almost 7 years ago

 

What are some of your funniest / strangest experiences you've had on the job

Robertmitchum_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

I ve been a cop for 21 years thats funny enough......... Ask anyone I went to school with


For so long as one hundred men remain alive, we shall never under any conditions submit to the domination of the English. It is not for glory or riches or honours that we fight, but only for liberty, which no good man will consent to lose but with his life.

The Declaration of Arbroath, 1320

SCREW TIBET FREE SCOTLAND !!!!

Img_1821_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

My strangest experience so far was some homeless lady that refused to leave the bathroom on private property. She was in there a total of 7hours before she was physically removed.

Motor_cop_comic_max160_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

bad_LT said:

I ve been a cop for 21 years thats funny enough......... Ask anyone I went to school with

Yep...I stil get "You're a WHAT!"


"You can't lead from behind" Gen'l James Longstreet, CSA

Family_002_max50

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Rated -1 | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

I tied a dummy, in a inmate uniform , to the perimeter fence to test how long the patrol and tower oficers would notice. The tower officer noticed right away but the patrol officer never noticed until the next morning. We also broke an inmates penis.

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

jdilello57 said:

What are some of your funniest / strangest experiences you've had on the job

I made it through almost 27 years on the job without getting killed, indicted or fired. That pretty strange right there. And it is funny on the first of the month when they electronically put money in my bank account for having so much fun!

Newpatch_sq90_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

I can't comment on it, it would gross you out, and I would be kicked out of this site.


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Clarke_photo_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

sgt457 said:


bad_LT said:


I ve been a cop for 21 years thats funny enough......... Ask anyone I went to school with


Yep...I stil get "You're a WHAT!"


I get the same thing.....especially when I tell them Juvenile Corrections.

Colt_max192w_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

One of the funniest experiences was when I was an MP we were patrolling the cemetery on base and it was just getting dark enough that you could see the blue lights just fine without actually looking at them. We spotted a car parked and pulled up behind it and hit the blue lights and this guy looked up and then his lady's head popped up so my partner and I approach 1 on each side, they were in the back seat and they were butt naked and this lady is trying to get as small as the little sofa pillow that was in the back seat of the car, it didn't quite work if you know what I mean.

Erase_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

I had an inmate in the FTC that enjoyed sticking lightbulbs up his butt.


"I walk like this because I CAN BACK IT UP!"

"If you're dating a Lambda Alpha Epsilon girl, raise your hand. If you're not, raise your standards!"

Erase_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Another said that in Graterford, they told him crap was good conditioner....'nuff said.


"I walk like this because I CAN BACK IT UP!"

"If you're dating a Lambda Alpha Epsilon girl, raise your hand. If you're not, raise your standards!"

6_max600_max600_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

we had an inmate stick a plastic toothbrush holder up his rearend to get his "G-spot" ( that was his own words ). Once the doctor took out the holder from his rectum, the inmate was quick to tell him that the other half was still up there. We did not bother to ask if the tooth brush was in the holder in the first place. I still laugh every time he comes back into the facility.

Medstar3-12-08_013_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

snafu90 said:

we had an inmate stick a plastic toothbrush holder up his rearend to get his "G-spot" ( that was his own words ). Once the doctor took out the holder from his rectum, the inmate was quick to tell him that the other half was still up there. We did not bother to ask if the tooth brush was in the holder in the first place. I still laugh every time he comes back into the facility.

I had a similar situation...an inmate use to get preparation h and he only got a very little...(the whole isn't but so big right). well he complained that it wasn't enough, so when he was questioned what he was doing with it, he showed us a long tube sock (the kind that you pull up to your knees) and said that he put the cream on that so that he can put it is in butt!!!!! GROSS!!!!! That story certainly brought back memories!!!!

Medstar3-12-08_013_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

snafu90 said:

we had an inmate stick a plastic toothbrush holder up his rearend to get his "G-spot" ( that was his own words ). Once the doctor took out the holder from his rectum, the inmate was quick to tell him that the other half was still up there. We did not bother to ask if the tooth brush was in the holder in the first place. I still laugh every time he comes back into the facility.

I had a similar situation...an inmate use to get preparation h and he only got a very little...(the whole isn't but so big right). well he complained that it wasn't enough, so when he was questioned what he was doing with it, he showed us a long tube sock (the kind that you pull up to your knees) and said that he put the cream on that so that he can put it is in butt!!!!! GROSS!!!!! That story certainly brought back memories!!!!

Patchca9l73vo_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

We had an inmate that was dry celled because he had swallowed some dope. When he crapped it out,he quickly got it, and SWALLOWED it again before we could get it.

Sheriffbadges_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

OH GOSH LETS SEEEE!!!! WE HAD A GUY THAT POPPED HIS OWN EYE OUT AND SWALLOWED IT, WE HAD A LADY THAT SWALLOWED LIKE 10 PLASTIC SPOON, AND OF COURSE ALL THE CRAP ARTIST THE LIST IS ENDLESS!!!

N1202178746_305955_5462_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

I saw a LT open a case I was rolling on the floor, then of course I had to show him how to work the computer


Pain is weakness leaving the body.

Obstacles are what we see when we take our eyes off the goal.

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

I have seen several things that have made me laugh bit I think the funniest was when we told a new employee to go find the I-D-10-T Form. He looked for this form for about 45 minutes before he realized that an I-D-10-T spelled IDIOT!!! It may not sound that funny but it sure was funny when it happened.

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Well, I work in a Mental Health Unit........I've seen some REALLY sick stuff..... need I say more?

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Nothing too funny ever happens at work!! However, just last december the VADOC authorized females to conduct patdowns on male inmates.  While patting down one of those thug types who wear their pants at the bottom of their a**, I pulled his pants down while going down his legs.  His fellow inmates thought it was hysterical, and I told him if he would wear a belt and dress properly that wouldn't happen. Oh, and my first day on the job an inmate came to the control booth and asked for an early release form.......yeah I fell for it.  Looked all over while he laughed.

Nc_doc_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

ive been with NC D.O.C. for a little over 3yrs and ive seen alot of fights n been assaulted once. But the funniest thing i saw i guess was when i caught 2 male inmates having oral sex during count time. when i opened their door they both jumped away from each like a kid caught with their hands in.the.cookie jar. But the funny thing was that i told them to GET ON THEIR KNEES and put their hands on their heads. After they were locked up i thought about the "get on ur knees" part and it was funny considering they were doing oral sex (ha ha). But it was safer for me with 2 inmates that way til back up came.

Nc_doc_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Hey GangMan. ive also had new recruits look the I-D-10-T form. And an early release form. they fell 4 it. Ha Ha!!

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

I've sent an inmate to the caustic room to get a fire extinguisher refill.......when he got there, they sent him somewhere else, and so on.....he was gone for a while.


 


The ID-10-T form is a good one too. ( I got s couple of new officers with that).

In_remembrance_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

bigsarge142 says ...


I tied a dummy, in a inmate uniform , to the perimeter fence to test how long the patrol and tower oficers would notice. The tower officer noticed right away but the patrol officer never noticed until the next morning. We also broke an inmates penis.

ummm, dare i ask how you broke his penis?!


Life has many influence's; it's your application that set's you apart

Judge_death-1_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Opening up a cell one day I found an inmate lying on the floor in a pool of blood with half a broom handle up his ass. When I asked him what the hell happened. His reply was that he "Fell out of bed and landed on the broom handle!!!!"


We Walk the Toughest Beat.

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Rate This | Posted about 6 years ago

 

warden1003 says ...



Opening up a cell one day I found an inmate lying on the floor in a pool of blood with half a broom handle up his ass. When I asked him what the hell happened. His reply was that he "Fell out of bed and landed on the broom handle!!!!"



I don't know which is worse.......that guy with the broom handle or the one at my institution who said he as just "sitting down on the toilet and didn't know that other guy was sitting there"

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Rate This | Posted about 6 years ago

 

How about this for funny........We caught two (2) inmates in the potatoe room having sex on top of the potatoes and cabbage. We got tied up dealing with this situation and noticed about a half an hour later that chow had started and guess what was on the tray..........yes, potatoes and cabbage.

Erase_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 6 years ago

 

GangMan says ...



How about this for funny........We caught two (2) inmates in the potatoe room having sex on top of the potatoes and cabbage. We got tied up dealing with this situation and noticed about a half an hour later that chow had started and guess what was on the tray..........yes, potatoes and cabbage.



Exactly why I stuck with PB & J for my sentence with the PADOC. lol


"I walk like this because I CAN BACK IT UP!"

"If you're dating a Lambda Alpha Epsilon girl, raise your hand. If you're not, raise your standards!"

Cop-car-color__nif_008c_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 6 years ago

 

  One of the many strange things was a guy that made animals out of his feces and then bite there heads off.  Ofcourse he would eventually finish them off.  Heard storys of guys that would make balls out of it and shoot them like marbles out into the hall, some where so good they'd put a spin on them and they'd go around corners. 


Dont knock on Deaths door, Ring the bell and run like hell... He Hates that !

N1202178746_305955_5462_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted about 6 years ago

 

We set up a Trooper on a criminal trespass complaint. A suspicious male subject refusing to leave the property. Trooper gets there to the field and starts yelling get on the ground, subject doesn't comply. Trooper yells again "GET THE "F" ON THE GROUND. " "Get the "F" down or I'm gonna bust a cap in your ass." as he inched closer he noticed the subjects back was facing him, Trooper slowly eases up and tackles subject from behind. Subject is a scarecrow. The Trooper calls in his disposition, of course just"negative contact it was a scarecrow, little did Trooper know it was a video taped set up which was played at the X mas party.


Pain is weakness leaving the body.

Obstacles are what we see when we take our eyes off the goal.

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