General Forums >> Officer Down >> My heart is breaking.

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My heart is breaking.

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Cap_060_max50

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Posted over 7 years ago

 

Is there ever going to be a time when I can talk about my brother and not just cry..this is something I wrote for him..:
Fallen Tears
fallen tears and broken hearts
is how we have felt right from
the start.
we loved our brother
and we loved our son
we got the call and it was done. our dreams where shattered
our hearts where broke.
The sky turned dark our
world turned black, we just want
him to come back.
In Honor of my baby brother who I miss more than words could ever say..We will be together again someday.

Marcia Altman Grandstaff
Mikes sister

9-11-logo_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

I am so sorry for your loss, Marcia. Sometimes it must seem like the tears will never end.

We do eventually heal, but even after that day comes, there will be times when the "scar tissue" on that healed wound will ache. It is the cost we pay for loving someone.

Keep writing your poetry. There's no way around grief except to go THROUGH it, and forms of expression like that can be a help.

Bears_pix_135_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Marcia I really have no words for your loss , but trust and believe the Lord will pull you through so that one day you can smile when you speak of your brother and know in your heart he watches over you and your family always!!

Img_3413_sq90_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Marcia I am unsure where you live but is there a local Chapter of Concerns of Police Survivors in you area? They can give you support and understand what you are going through as they are going through it as well. Don't let anyone tell you when you "should be over it by now." Everyone grieves in their own way and no way is wrong. Use your support systems and remember we are all here for you.

Cap_060_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

I will check into the chapter of corcerns of police survivors..Thank you. I keep his picture out of him in his uniform and keep candles beside it so I can light them and pray for him..I just miss him..He is the deputy that was shot and killed in Marianna along with the sheriffs wife..Jackson county in Marianna, Florida..He was a wonderfull man. always a smile on his face and a joke to tell.

Cap_060_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

I lost so much that day
Although most are not aware
The tearing pain that ripped my heart
As I saw you lying there.

The rage, the pain, the anger
The questions, and fear
The heartache, void and emptiness
All alone you left me here!!

In the quiet of the night
In the stillness of the dark
Is when you had no choice to leave this world
And make your final mark.

A mark, a brand, a gaping hole
Left deep, deep, down inside.
So many mixed emotions
Of which I try to hide.

No one knows what hides inside
Or the questions in my mind.
Won't ever know the answers; don't even know the time.

The phone call came
To tell me you were gone
The screaming of the sirens
Cut the silence of the dawn.

A part of me left with you,
The night that you died.
Leaving behind an empty shell
No chance to say good-bye.

I miss you more than you'll ever know
Your grin and laughter
And times of younger days.

Until we meet again my brother
I'll find you where you are....
The fresh blowing breeze, the clouds in the sky,
The brightest shining star.
We will meet again..baby brother..I promise,,

Marcia Altman Grandstaff

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

I'm terribly sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you.

Here is the link to Mike's ODMP entry. http://www.odmp.org/officer.php?oid=18691

1z6tp9w_max50

179 posts

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

I am sorry for your loss, my prayers are with you. hang in there

Beach_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

Marcia please know we will keep you in our thoughts, hearts and prayers. I'll pray for your strength. May you take comfort in knowing that others will be there for you, to listen, always.


We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. ~Winston Churchill

Shedevil2_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

marcia , i am so saddened by your /our loss . you have a greater family than you will ever know . from your writings you are a gifted poet , hang in there and know that Mike is always with you . stay prayerful , for only GOD has the answers that your heart is searching for . we are here for you always . you are in my prayers as you go through you wilderness journey ..... we love you !


...don't play with me , i'll keep you way up after your bedtime.....

1979_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

Marcia, I am very much aware of the circumstances of Mike's death and he was very much a hero in the finest sense of the word. You are in my prayers and know that I also prayed for Mike the day he died. If you ever need to talk to anyone, there is a wonderful family of which you are a part of, it is called the thin blue line, brothers in blue, and many other names but it is simply LEO's from around the world that care for and take care of their own whenever they can.

063_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

Marcia,
Go to the Officer Down Memorial Page and read the reflections left for Mike. There are 14 pages. You will see there such an outpouring of love. I am a civilian in New Jersey who leaves a reflection for every officer. You will find that you do not grieve alone. The whole world prays for you and your family. When I read about Mikes death on the ODMP, I just cried. What a senseless death. And what a HERO Mike was that day. And the death of the sheriffs wife was equally tragic and senseless. I pray you find peace. Deputy Altman, Never Forgotten.

Water_lilies_max50

106 posts

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

Words can not describe the feeling of loss you are experiencing. Losing a loved one is hands down the hardest thing to deal with. Know this Marcia, you have an entire nationwide community of Law Enforcement personnel that feel your pain and pray for your heart to be lifted from the grief. Mike was a servant of the people here on Earth, now he has the highest calling of all; serving with our Lord in Heaven. God Bless and may you feel all of our prayers lifting you up.

Meangreen01_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

Marcia, love heals all wounds. You love your brother and you will heal. As ChaplainKeppy said, "We do eventually heal, but even after that day comes, there will be times when the 'scar tissue' on that healed wound will ache." I can relate having lost "brothers" in this job. There is healing where there is love, you are loved by a very large family. My prayers are with you and yours.


"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." ~ George Orwell

"Honor First!"

MODERATOR #1 & PL Mentoring Team Member