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The Listening Ears of Children

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Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Gudercop your strength as a police officer will help you through this time....that and the devotion you have to helping your family heal from this trauma....kids have an incredible means of healing if given the chance....if given a listening ear....and given the socially accepted methods of venting their frustrations and anger.  One of the things I brought up and made sure the children discussed in children's support group through the domestic violence org was how to handle their anger and difficult feelings.  How to handle times when people treat you wrong and violate boundaries and disrespect and disregard human welfare safety and security.  How to stay strong in our "thinking when people do things that make us mad....hurt us....embarrass us or shame us or disrespect us. 


I saw kids on the psych ward that were continually openly rebelling against society....constantly in trouble with law enforcement and teachers....basically any adult viewed as an authority figure.


There is much valuable teaching materials out there for childen of all ages on this subject.  As educated adults we know that violence begats violence....I used a lot of role playing with the children of the support group....they seemed to really engage and interact the best in that type of teaching endeavor. 


thev8man///...thank you for your response....dealing with famiy/domestic violence has been a constant blight to all societies and cultures since the beginning of time.  SRA is a very dark area of abuse. Children are our future...social education along the lines of conflict resolution, respect fo social norms, life skills, respect for authority figures if taught at a young age from a variety of sources and repeated on a frequent basis throughout the stages of growth and development. 


Legal consequences including incarceration gives the perpetrator a sharp wake up call.  Abuse is about issues of power and control.  SRA is that magnified many times over.


Logancodeputy19...thank you for your response... I am sorry for any abuses you suffered in your childhood....as a law enforcement officer you have the opportunity to help provide the deterrents that protects victims from further abuse....I know one of the areas I will work my way towards once in LE is that of a detective that works sex crimes unit....if you are interested in learning about SRA I would suggest professional academic journals.  Be careful about the fiction stories you may read concerning SRA. 


 


Dolphinblue


 

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Sherry,


As I sit here in my office at the local middle school as the resource officer, I am choking back the tears as I watch the children walk by in the hallway on their way to class, I can't help but wonder if any of them are living through similar situations.  I also can't help but picture my own 4 year old daughter, who means the world to me.  I honestly can't find the words to respond to the horrors that you had to endure.  You have personal strength beyond belief to not only live through those situations but to turn that into an amazing inner strength and share a piece of your life with us.  I thank you for having the courage to share this with us.  There is no doubt in my mind that YOU will have a positive impact on everyone who has the pleasure of meeting you !! 


 

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Thank you for your comments Bojank. As I hear from many police officers, abuse against children and the elderly hits them at the very core of their  being.....going after the weak, the vulnerable, those who are unable to defend themselves....it speaks wrong to any conscience....hence the pathology that surrounds SRA.  As a future police officer it is not just my desire to teach children/youth about resisting the "delinquents" of this world....but also to arrest and seek prosecution of these individuals.  


dolphinblue

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

I can never understand why people can do this to anyone, let alone a child.  My children mean the world to me and could never imagine hurting one of them.  As my career as a correctional officer this is one aspect the really sickens me.  Sometimes it's really hard to be professional and keep my mouth shut, but I know I have to.  Thank you for sharing your story and God bless you.  Never ever stop telling your story. God has something special for everyone.

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rated +2 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Thank you for your response pjlentz....lead by example is how I try my best to live every day....and how many others I know live also.  LIve to leave a legacy.  I have a world of compassion for the  innocent and those who choose to live by the law and social norms and yet are victimized for no other reason than for another's sick need for power and control...for those who choose to violate the same I have another attitude.  As a LEO I will be able to arrest and seek prosecution for scumbags who commit such heinous crimes against innocent children. ...keeping the communitiy a little safer.  As a LEO I will be able to more than just mentor and teach as I do now....arresting those who harm others and seeking justice for the innocent is why I want to become a LEO. 

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Happy Valentine's to  all who read this....but on a note of reality let us remember those children especially who are suffering in silence and fear  due to abusive family environments.  For these children the concept of passing out valentines may  somehow be lost on what the concept of love actually means.They are vulnerable and very often keep silent as those with the power and control  use their size and power to abuse instead of to nurture and protect.  May God protect those  children suffering in satanic ritual abuse....may He protect and keep their minds and hearts and souls safe through the storms of deceit and lies  and manipulations.


dolphinblue

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Amen and a big BUMP and GOD Bless you dolphinblue.


Bad stuff happens to good people, handle it and overcome.
My motto for life:
Let go and let GOD,
Only HE can control everything.

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Thank you gudercop....we know that the sociopaths that commit crimes such as these will never turn away from their crimes on their own.

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

We had a child molestation call tonight, an eight and five year old girl and possibly a third....I was feeling sad for them and their parents. I remember reading this posting awhile ago, so I came back to read it again.


The suspect is an uncle. I will pray for those poor children. :(

Batman_max600_1__max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

my prayers to rosejade. Father God keep these children and their families surounded by your love and protection. Help their parents seek guidance in getting these children the help they need. May the court system do what is right by putting this monster away and keep him from hurting anymore children and families. Also Dear Father please watch over the Officers, Medical personel, Social Workers and others as they work this case.  Your Loving brothers and Sisters in Christ, Amen


Bad stuff happens to good people, handle it and overcome.
My motto for life:
Let go and let GOD,
Only HE can control everything.

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

My concern for these children is the poison they have been fed from their abuser.  Children are kept quiet through threats of harm,  threat of harm commited  on other family members, threats of harm to animals, their pets.  Often they are blamed  over and over again that they deserve their fate....that they have asked and wanted their circumstances.....making them feel they have no choice...no power...no future.  Some of those threats are actually carried out making the child's perpetrator seem like they are unstoppable and there is no safety anywhere.


These children have been rescued and I hope and pray they can work through their circumstances and justice is served to their perpetrator/s.


 

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

What an incredible story!  It is amazing that you found the strength to not only survive, but thrive when the abuse you endured would crush most anyone's spirit.  I am happy that you found your strenght through God, and have become the person you are today.  It would have been so easy to take the other path, one of self destruction through drugs and alcohol....and who would blame you?  Only you know what you can endure, and what you are willing to do about it.  I am sorry for the trauma you have endured, but I a happy for the person you have become.  Steve

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Thank you, Steve.  I will have the opportunity to continue to teach from my past this fall.

Lenacallcenter_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Sherry:     Thanks for sharing that testimony.  It made me shed tears.  You are truely a survivor and an inspiration to us all.  May God abundantly bless you and your work in educating and reaching out to others.


Earlene

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Thank you for your heartfelt words, lenabunnie.

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

 


I am adding this short paragraph to let people know what I value teaching the most is the need for structure, discipline and rules in parenting children. It was structure discipline and rules that allowed me to feel any sense of safety and security during SRA.   During SRA, as children we were constantly comparing the difference between SRA and the “other world” we knew. Granted we were very young. But it was the structure and discipline learned from those authority figures and other mentoring adults in our communities that kept us persevering and remaining strong in body, mind and spirit.   We never gave up and we never quit, not on ourselves or each other. 
We were continually told false hoods about our country.  Why am I discouraged that our youth can no longer say the “Pledge of Allegiance” in our schools.....because that is one thing we repeated over and over again when we got back from those who spoke evil of our country.  Why did we recite the “Pledge” ...we remembered routines.....our teachers led us at the beginning of every school day....we stood up put our hand over our heart and our teacher said we do that because we love our country and that is how we show respect. 
Parenting is a tough job and it is not for those who wish to sit on their laurels and blame everyone else or deny that their child has problems and needs help. Structure, rules and effective discipline is the training that children need to survive in this world; it is the safety and security net that quiets confusion and doubt.  
That same kind of discipline and structure forms the groundwork that helps youth resist alcohol and drugs. Peer pressure is not the crucial factor in whether youth yield to temptations; it is the lack of appropriate parenting.
Give kids the tools they need and you will be amazed at what they can withstand and overcome.   Fail to teach them when they are young and they will not have integrated the foundations that help stabilize them in middle school (when first approached with drugs and alcohol) and teenage years.
About that “short paragraph”....well....kind of my soap box.

Alh-1_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Quite well said.  It is easy to have a child.  However, being a good parent is hard work.  You must let the child know it limits early on in life.  If you wait it will be too late and you will have a problem on your hands that you can not handle.  You must assist your children in learning to make the hard decisions and how those decisions will affect you later.


I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents..." --James Madison

"Posterity — you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." —John Quincy Adams

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Dolphin


I am a man with 24 years of Law Enforcement experience and have seen and heard everything possible. Your story of life has brought tears to a man in blue. The tears are from your pain and of your strenght to overcome and help others. I salute you for your efforts in getting the word out that things happen in life and it is okay to let others know....You are more than a lady, you are an inspiration to children, men and women.


I believe that Police Link should have a member of the month award for people who display courage, compassion and lend a hand to help others.  You are by all means my choice for Member of the month and for member of the year.


Your words have and will continue to help many.


I Salute and Thank You

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

 This has also moved me to tears.  Dophinblue, I know God will continue to bless you.  I am so sorry for what happened to you.  


The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the grey head
- Proverbs 20:29

Nemo me impune lacessit

YaYa SuzieQ

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

Reading the story I was moved beyond words emotionally. Tears blurred my vision. I am so broken deeply inside.The emotional abuse which our precious child of God has endured is just unimagineable. I am perplexed at how a human being can hurt another so severely.


Children are so special in the eyes of God. The abusers are in for a rude awakening upon their death.


I consider myself a tough guy. A LEO for over 33 years, Black belt in Karate and former EMS rescue worker. I have viewed death up close and maintained my emotions. I can honestly say at this very moment that I am so torn apart, I am angry.


The story which was posted has touched me in such a dynamic way. I pleadge to continue in my fight to keep children safe from preadators until my very last breath. Thanks for sharing such a superb posting.


God bless.


Ed


 

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 5 years ago

 

A very heartfelt thank you to LaDET, Suzanne, Ed, and once again A.L.  Children are bombarded by many external forces outside the home but it is even more tragic when the abuse strikes within the home, when parents/family turn on their young.


Children need to know there are mentors in their communities that care and will offer a listening ear, a sounding board, a word of encouragement,  a view point and an example of behavior that emulates courage and integrity and living a life of respect and dignity to self and others.


God bless you all that take the time and energy to mentor youth....and I know children hold a special place in the hearts of LEOs and many others here on PL.


 

Alh-1_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted about 5 years ago

 

There are two children from Springdale, AR that are in danger of being taken from their mother and give to the father that lives in Texas.  He left them and their mother 6 years ago without any money and had no intention of taking care of them until the courts made him.  He was always late on the child support and did not want to have the children in his life until they have gotten old enough for him to have fun with them.  He has them in Texas right now.  He kept them up until 2 AM while he got another tatoo last week.  The girl is 12 and his new wife, who looks and acts like a slut, wants to have her to bring her up in her image.  The little boy who is 7 is so afraid of his father that he will say what ever hid father wants to hear to stay out of problems.  The little girl has called her mother several times crying to come home.  Today, a court ordered inspection of the mothers home was conducted.  Can you believe that the court would send someone to a home on Sunday.  The mother and her husband of 5 years were in church this morning.  He has raised the two children as his own.  They think of him as their dad.  Please pray that the courts will have justice for the mother and children when the hearing is heard.  I pray that the children are protected form the evil influence of the father when he has them.


I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents..." --James Madison

"Posterity — you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." —John Quincy Adams

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted about 5 years ago

 

ALH says ...



There are two children from Springdale, AR that are in danger of being taken from their mother and give to the father that lives in Texas.  He left them and their mother 6 years ago without any money and had no intention of taking care of them until the courts made him.  He was always late on the child support and did not want to have the children in his life until they have gotten old enough for him to have fun with them.  He has them in Texas right now.  He kept them up until 2 AM while he got another tatoo last week.  The girl is 12 and his new wife, who looks and acts like a slut, wants to have her to bring her up in her image.  The little boy who is 7 is so afraid of his father that he will say what ever hid father wants to hear to stay out of problems.  The little girl has called her mother several times crying to come home.  Today, a court ordered inspection of the mothers home was conducted.  Can you believe that the court would send someone to a home on Sunday.  The mother and her husband of 5 years were in church this morning.  He has raised the two children as his own.  They think of him as their dad.  Please pray that the courts will have justice for the mother and children when the hearing is heard.  I pray that the children are protected form the evil influence of the father when he has them.



I agree with your concern that the courts consider the best welfare for these two young children.

Camndad_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

I am at a loss for words.  I am honored to call you friend. 


"Service, justice, fundamental fairness-these are the foundational principles in which every police action must be grounded. The nobility of policing demands the noblest of character. "
-Dr. Stephen R. Covey

PL Mentoring Team Member

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

Thank you for your response Motorcop212....SRA has been compared to the experiences of a POW...our previous training makes all the difference in how we will respond to unsurmountable odds.  Training in childhood continuing on into adulthood....it all makes a difference.

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

I have had to handle several cases involving children during my time, they are never forgotten!!!!! God Bless!!!!

Grim2_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

First let me say THANK YOU for sharing this with me and everyone here who read it.  THANK YOU for being the strong willed survivor that you are, you are the kind of woman that many young woman need in there lives today.  And THANK YOU for your courage!!!!!


Don't let the world make you a victim,Make the world your BITCH!

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

Iris, the best place to post an introduction is in the general forum section of PL under introductions.  I am sorry for any abuse you suffered in the past.  Please read my PM, thank you.

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

MC 168 and KatieMarie thank you for your responses.

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Rate This | Posted about 5 years ago

 

This is one amazing story.  Thanks for haivng the courage to write such a piece, it was very moving indeed!!  God Bless You!!

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