Group Forums >> GOD's Cops >> The Listening Ears of Children

+681

The Listening Ears of Children

33,758 Views
1,206 Replies Flag as inappropriate
Dolphins_fantasy_max50

3850 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Thank you AussieCopGal....keep studying hard in school and follow your dreams.  May God bless your pathway.

200px-flag_of_the_united_states_svg_max50

208 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Lets keep giving it a thumbs up so it will stay the most recent topic...Everybody, please bump it before you leave....

Tn2_max50

1 post

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

I'm absolutely speechless and in tears. I was also abused as a child and even though it wasn't nearly to the extent you described it's still very painful and deeply personal. Many people don't understand that sort of thing, especially when it's sexual abuse, and don't even want to think about it. I had every close friend in my life turn their backs on me when I told them what I had been through because they didn't understand. Sometimes I still struggle with it because the abuser was my father and he was acquitted on stupid technicalities and convoluted nonsense brought up by his attorney. Even the judge was shocked by the verdict but nothing could be done about it since it was a jury of 6. I've had zero contact with my father in 10 years and was disturbed to find out from my stepsister (who he had also been abusing) that her mother was still living with him and was babysitting small children in their home. The only thing that has kept me strong and that kept me going is the faith and assurance that eventually it'll catch up with him whether it be  this life or the next and there's a special place waiting just for him somewhere that isn't very pleasant at all.


After trying many different types of jobs I joined a sheriff's office as a dispatcher on a whim and found that I have a heart for this work and a passion to better people's situations, or at least try to point them in the right direction, so I applied for a city police agency, went to the police academy, and now I'm on patrol. Right after I finished FTO I went on a call in reference to a 14 year old girl who had run away with her 12 year old sister. I knew the 14 year old girl from prior complaints of her being ungovernable so I tried not to think that she was just being a brat because she didn't get her way. Come to find out her little sister had been forced to sleep outside their apartment the night before in the cold because she was late for her 7 pm "curfew" set forth by her mother. We got child protection involved. These 2 girls told me and my supervisor that there was never food in the house, that they, their 6 year old brother, their mother, and their mother's boyfriend all slept in the floor together on a blanket because they had a studio type apartment with only a bathroom, kitchen, and living room. They also told us that the boyfriend had been abusing them, that he and their mother drank alcohol and used drugs in front of them. The child protection worker told us it was in their "best interest" to be returned to that sort of environment. Five minutes after he dropped them off they ran away again. We decided we'd had enough so I located the girls and they were placed in shelter care. Today they are all 3 with the older sister's father who is a corrections officer and had lost custody of the oldest because the court saw fit to place her with her mother, who was unemployed and mentally unbalanced with a history of drug and alcohol abuse. When they showed up for court the oldest girl hugged me so hard I couldn't breathe and cried on my shoulder telling me how much she appreciated what I'd done to help her and that she would never forget everything we did to get them out of that hell.


At that moment when I saw how happy that girl was and knew that I had been able to "save" her I knew for absolute certain that this was what I was meant to do. I knew that I could use what I had gone through as a child to help people in any way I possibly could. Children are so dependent on their caretakers to love them and do what's best for them and when that innocent trust is betrayed the damage can be irreversible. It's something you never forget but you can either choose to wallow in it and let it eat you alive or you can make up your mind to not let that define who you are and overcome it. I'm not ashamed to say I let it change who I was because I was so bitter and angry but one day I decided that it really wasn't me to be that way and ever since then it's been a nonissue. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It's such an inspiration to me and just made my day so much better.

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

3850 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Thank you for your continued support LaDET.  Miss_Offficer23,  I am so glad you found your way through your abuse ...to the other side in giving back to your community through your work as a LEO.  Your efforts and the efforts of all LEOs, especially in the protection and welfare of children, is so very needed and greatly appreciated.  You were a miracle of blessings to those children you stood up for.   Thank you with all my heart to you and all of LE who continue to strive for the protection and welfare of the innocents in our communities.

74596_129289523905506_927477597_n_max50

1076 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Sherry.....words can't express how brave, couragous and strong you are for sharing this story....truly remarkable and I'm in tears...


not too long ago, I had an incident happen to me that left me very damaged...I didn't tell anyone for months and was so blinded with rage and hatred for what happened to me....at the attacker and at God especially (the incident happened on church property)...it was a burden I dealt with alone because I couldn't tell anyone...I would look in the mirror and feel so ashamed and guilty. I'd isolate myself from everyone. My only outlet was martial arts....that was really the only thing at the time that brought me comfort.


I remember being in class one day and having an instant flashback (the teacher was a cop). I remember going outside the room, sitting outside and just tearing up with my hands over my head. It was beginning to be too much to bear. After class, my teacher asked me to come to his office, which I did...he then poured me a cup of coffee and got out some girl scout cookies. He made a comment with something along the lines of "you looked upset and you've been looking like somthing's really weighing on your mind" and I remember telling him "I can't say what happened, I just can't" but I think he figured it out. We then spent the time talking about law enforcement and even got to a more light-hearted conversation about Italy and Croatia....I still was a bit sad when I left but I felt a whole lot better. I won't forget that.


Fast forward to now and I'm MUCH MUCH better.......not a day goes by that I don't think about what happened but I don't have triggers or anything like that. Instead of vowing revenge, I now vow to take my negative experience and turn it into a positive one. I'm doing well at school, will graduate in spring and am still doing my MMA. I'm now part of Soldiers Angels to support our military. I'm beginning to understand now why I had to go through that hell...


Sherry, again thank you so much for sharing your story....you truly are an inspiration and I'm glad to have met you.


Adapt, improvise and overcome.
YaYa Dancing Wolf

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

3850 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Adriek I am glad you found someone you could talk to that made the difference and became  a turning point in your life.  Memories remain for a reason, to remind us we are human and need to use our humanity to show compassion to others.  Congratulations on your soon and upcoming graduation.  May God bless your pathway.

1383664303724_max50

292 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Sherry after reading this i grabbed my daughter and hugged her tight. thank you for sharing this and stay strong!

Captured_2004-1-1_00028_max50

17 posts

back to top
+1

Rated +1 | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Sherry,


Your story is very moving, and I thank God that you were able to survive all that in such a positive way.  Thank you for sharing such a difficult thing - it will inspire many others, I am sure.

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

3850 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Thank you penny1997 and LAC155.  Let us hold our children close, listen to them, and teach them the tools that will help them live with the confidence and trust that  will help them make wise and considerate choices in a world that is full of blessings and possibilities,  and yet laced with temptation and strife. 

L_6aed1913cdc84f56b8a1de7b6fe9c455_max50

332 posts

back to top
+1

Rated +1 | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

I am truely at a loss of words! Thankyou so much for sharing your story. What great strength you have to overcome such a tragic thing. Stay strong and Be safe.

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

3850 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Thank you soxgirl0150, take care and be safe also.

Me_jan_2011_max50

17 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

It is heart-wrenching to read your story. However, yours is truly a story of the courage and resilliance of a child. God bless you!

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

3850 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

God bless you too Chuck007.

Img_20131008_084923-1_max50

2 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

You are AMAZING!!  May God continue to bless you richly, be with you, guide and protect you!!  Thank you for your story!  I was moved to tears to read that horrific story!  What an AMAZING God we serve!  A God of Restoration and great Power!  You are so blessed and so beautiful and strong to have overcame that! 

200px-flag_of_the_united_states_svg_max50

208 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Lets keep giving it a thumbs up so it will stay the most recent topic...Everybody, please bump it before you leave....

Photo_user_blank_big

69 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

I believe everything happens for a reason...God lets us go through things to be examples to others.. What you have lived through is a horrible childhood. But when you tell the story it shows that your strength came from your strong faith in God. You are a strong women..Most people would have stayed silent about what they had been through...Always hold your head up high and be proud of the person you are...I will always remember you and your story. 

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

3850 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Thank you for your response Hillbilly_Deluxe and may you continue to pursue and follow your dreams.  Thank you for your continued support LaDET.  NCGirl2009 you are right....in the worst of events there is always a silver lining that puts everything in its proper perspective.

Photo_user_blank_big

7 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

God has truly blessed you to be able to endure such horrible things in your childhood.  Being in law enforcement I work with abused children.  I am a trained forensic interviewer and it is truly a horrid crime.  Your story certainly works as motivation to continue to do what I do in hopes of saving one more child.  Thank you for sharing. 

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

3850 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Thank you ajinda, for all your efforts in working with abused children.  It truly does make a difference.

Allen_max50

1064 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

You know Sherry, when I first popped up into PoliceLink this person..."dolphinblue" wanted to be my friend.  I thought, well ok.  Why would someone with the "5 stars" want to be friends with me?


Now I know....


Bless you girl.  Your strength will carry me thru some of my darkest times.  You inspire me, really.  I am trying my best to get deployed to Iraq in order to help our nation in the global fight against terrorism.  You will always be in my thoughts and prayers.


When I think things are tough, I'll always think of you.


Bill

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

3850 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Bill, if my story helps just one person survive and conqueor a difficult circumstance or event, that is my mission.  Anyone who puts on a uniform to defend the freedoms of our country either domestic and/or abroad is my hero.  Bill, you are one of my heroes and I wish you safety and protection as you serve in Iraq.  Please keep in touch, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Police_max50

2 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

 This is an amazing story! I'm so sorry that happened to you, but GOD BLESS YOU for turning your experiences into something positive (wanting to serve the community as a LEO). God Bless, and good luck on your degree! :)


-Trevor

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

3850 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Thank you Trevor, and the best to you also.

Batman_max600_1__max50

3538 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Sherry, WOW look at this post go. Thank GOD you did not delete this several months ago. You are an inspiration to everyone that reads this post. You are changing lives and helping people. Thank you for being my friend and for all you are. Your friend and supporter Alan aka gudercop.


Bad stuff happens to good people, handle it and overcome.
My motto for life:
Let go and let GOD,
Only HE can control everything.

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

3850 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Thank you for your continued support Alan, very appreciated.

American_flag_max50

17 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Hi Sherry.  I am MRS. APD108.  I am actually the one that found this topic and your story last night and left it pulled up for my husband to read when he got up.  I very much appreciated reading your story and even took the time to read ALL the posts after your original story post.  Your topic heading, "The Listening Ears of Children" caught my eye not just because it was the top discussion on this group but mainly because I suspected what it was about even before reading.  I hate that you went through the type of abuse you went through, but I do so much admire you and the strength that God gave you to overcome it and be a VICTOR not a victim.


I, too, was abused in so many different ways for the first prob 33 or so years of my life (I am 40 now).  I am not only a survivor but continue to grow each day as a VICTOR!!  I did not have the horrible type of abuse you had with SRA, but my father and ex-husband were sociopaths/psychopaths (both diagnosed).  It is bad when the old saying, "You choose a mate like your opposite sex parent" is true when the father was/is a sociopath.  Of course, both men are EXTREMELY and HIGHLY intelligent men but it has always been about "mind games" with both of them and control.  I was also sexually abused by my older brother from the age of 7 to at least 11-12 (I also allowed my ex-husband to sexually abuse me, too; it is amazing how your mind keeps letting yourself get in the same kinds of relationships over and over again until you BREAK that chain.........that even includes other toxic relationships, such as friendships).  One thing God did give me is selective memory.........I don't remember a lot of details about my childhood or past marriage.  He also gave me the gifts that you talk about.........being very perceptive of things the average person not affected by severe abuse can perceive.  God also blessed me with my husband, who is the BEST friend I have ever had in my life!!  He has sooooo totally shown me the most unconditional love of anyone in my life EVER (except my dogs and horse!! lol).  I put him through a lot of hard years when I realized that I needed to open up those dark secrets to become a better person and love who I am.  I have never been happier in my life.  I have a friend that has known me since we were 10 years old.  She tells me all the time that what got me through all those years of my life was my fighting spirit.........the very thing both my parents didn't like about me........I wasn't easy to conform and control!!


When I have read on this discussion that there is no set socio-economic status of abused chldren, I totally agree with that.  My family was pretty well off.  To the outside world we looked like the perfect 4 person family with the "white picket fence" look: a mother, a father, one boy, and one girl.  The all-American dream!!  But, I said this was what the outside world only saw.  Even today, if you aren't part of the family in a close knit way (only either by blood relation or by marrying into the fam), then you aren't allowed to see the abuse that has gone on and continues to go on (I have seperated from my toxic parents for about 2 years now for my own good..........it is sad, and was a hard decision to make, but it was the best for MY health and well-being).  What goes on in my family is all highly secretive and no one understands when I try to explain how my family is...........they don't believe me most of the time because it sounds sooooo unbelievable.  The outside world sees my dad as a very sucessful business man and great guy and my mom as a wonderful, sweet, and loving person.  Out of the few people in my life that I have tried to tell, most of them just looked at me with a baffled look on their faces........lol!


BUT, I wouldn't go back and change a thing about my life.  I know God had a purpose and plan for my life.  If I hadn't gone through what I have been through, then I wouldn't be who and where I am today (and that includes meeting and marrying the most wonderful man alive......in my humble opinion.....lol).  I wouldn't be able to have compassion for people the way I do, I don't think.  I have an uncanny ability to be able to generally EMPATHIZE with others, not just sympathize, even if I haven't been in the same situation.  I know, empathy is when you HAVE been through something similar.  But, I truly am blessed with what God has given to me in that area and the area of being so perceptive of body language, facial expressions, etc.  Just the other day I told my husband, my survial depended on being VERY aware of EVERYTHING around me.


You know, you never really know sometimes how you touch others lives, but I truly try hard everyday, whether it is just smiling at everyone I pass or helping in Outreach Ministries at our church.   I know that even the simplist of  things, such as a warm smile, can make someones day.......it did for me many a time in my life.  So whoever else is reading this, please remember to keep a smile on your face as much as possible when you look at people passing by you everyday, strangers, that you may never know how much that smile may mean to them.  That small act of spreading love and joy means so much to pretty much all of us, no matter what we have endured in life.


I will just try to end this with saying to you that I am impressed with you as that little girl who "coped with" what you went through and as a woman now helping others in your nursing profession and also in the future of law enforcement, if that be God's will for your life.  I am also impressed with all you do to help children in your community, too.  I look forward to the day that God shows me what my path is to help others by what I have been through, too.  He has opened some doors this year and it has been so rewarding, as I know you feel with what you are able to do.  AND, like you, I don't want pity or whatever from other people for what I endured, but I would much rather people understand that you CAN look in ALL things for something good to come out of the bad.  I have and am happy to know you have, too.


I will leave you with a quote I heard on the show "Criminal Minds" by Agent Rossi,


"Scars remind us where we've been.  They DO NOT have to dictate where we are going!"


(I searched the web for a long time to see who the quote is attributed to and could not find a thing.........so assuming it was written for the drama series.)


With much love and with God's love,


Kate


P.S.  I meant to mention that if an abused child is taken out their situation by adolescence or so, they are much better able to deal with what happened to them and seem to heal quicker than someone who waits until their adult later years to deal with the abuse.  So, to all you LEO officers, thank you for each child's life that you may have touched, espcially those that you WERE able to rescue from the "bad person" in their life, be it mother, father, uncle, or next door neighbor!!! 

Dolphins_fantasy_max50

3850 posts

back to top
+1

Rated +1 | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Thank you Mrs. APD108 for sharing a piece of your life with us and realizing that you are of value and worth no matter what your abusers told you.  You have found peace with your past and now wish to use  it to benefit others.  I fully agree with the gained perception and recognition of micro-expressions.  May God continue to bless your pathway.  Will continue this in a pm.(personal message).


dolphinblue-Sherry

Photo_user_blank_big

1 post

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Wow, what an inspirational story!!! You have made me rethink my perspective on a few things, and my reasons for being a police officer! Thank you so much for sharing this. This proves that with God's help, and enough determination, anyone can do anything they want, no matter what their past involves. Thank you, and God Bless!!


"The mountains are calling, and I must go."-John Muir

Cars---mater-02_max50

344 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Wow! That was an amazing story. I wasn't even half way threw it and I had tears rolling. A truly amazing story. This story shows that everyone has a future no matter what the past. They just have to take the right path.  God Bless and Good Luck!!

A0432cbae03514a4_1__max50

1 post

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 5 years ago

 

Wow, that was a story i'll never forget. While I sat reading with tears in my eye's, I said a little prayer to god thanking him for my three little girls safety. I could not imagine what I would do if this occured to my children. I'm sorry you had to endure such pain and suffering, but I am glad your are sharing this with the people. God bless you.

Next Page >