My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What ' s on TV?" I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

====3D=========================

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

==============================

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...

And then the fight started....

==============================

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver ' s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, ' Unbutton your shirt ' . So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ' That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me ' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, ' you should have dropped your pants. You

might have gotten disability, too. '

And then the fight started...

==============================

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, ' Do you know her? ' ' Yes, ' I sighed, she ' s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn ' t been sober since. '

' My God! ' says my wife, ' who would think a person could go on celebrating that long? '

And then the fight started...

==============================

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn ' t believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ' I AM NOT HAPPY! ' So, I looked down at him and said, ' Well, then which one are you? '

And then the fight started...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!

I got one!... I get off at 1200 and my girlfriened says goodnight. And I reply goodnight, then turn back to the PC.

And then the fight started!

LOL....those were too funny!!!

CHECK THIS ONE OUT

************************************************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.  'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'  He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'  'Nah, she can order for herself.' 

 And that's how the fight started.....

I got home after a long day of work and poured myself a drink.  My wife asked, "Bad day?"  I replied, "Yes, you're still here."

And then the fight started...

 LOL... TOO FUNNY....

  While watching a tragic story on the evening News, my Wife asked " What would make a man shoot 20 of his Co-workers and then set fire to himself"?? I replied " He must know you"..

  And that's how the fight started...

I got home from work yesterday and plopped down on the couch and asked;

"Honey will you bring me a beer before it starts"

She brings it to me to and walks away.

A short while later, "Honey, will you bring me another beer before it starts?" I asked

Again, she brings me a beer, but with a scowl this time.

Again, "Honey, how about another beer before it starts?"

"Listen pal! If you think I'm going to bring you beer all G*damn night...."

"...and now it's started!" I said... THAT'S when the fight started....

Best forum post I've read all morning

I was sitting in my favorite chair watching the football game when my wife wallked into the room......

"Do these jeans make my ass look big?" she asked.....

"No" I replied, "Your big fat ass makes your ass look big"..................

That's when the fight started

Yall are 2 funny. I've got a short one 4 u:

About the time my husband sat next to me on the couch, my boyfriend walked through the front door.....

and THAT'S how the fight got started.

(Joking of course. I'm not even married. But that would suck wouldn't it?)

My wife and I were at the Bank filling out some paperwork on a second mortgage the other day. As I was entering the information on the form she leaned over my shoulder, clearly irritated, and said, "That's not my birthdate." I said, "Yeah, yeah. What's your middle name?"

... and that's when the fight started.

We are in bed, my wife is talking.  We just finished with sex about 30 seconds ago.  I turn away from her and say, "I would have been asleep about 3 minutes ago, if you'd shut the hell up."  And then the fight started.

True story, funny the things Jack Daniels will say when he takes possession of your body.

This really happened------My brother-in-law always goes shopping alone.In this store he shops in is a good looking cashierer.One time his wife decided to go with him even though she is a very sick woman.At home he has an old dog and he wanted to buy dogfood ..The cashier greated him and said"Oh today you have someone with yoü?"Yes,he said This is my old woman,my sick dog is at home,He wanted to say This is my sick woman,My old dog is at home..             and that started the fight