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California Driver's Exam

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Posted over 9 years ago


For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan Area.

Here it is below:


Name:______________ Stage name: ________________
Agent:______________ Attorney:__________________

Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male ___formerly female ___both

If female, indicate breast implant size: ____
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___

Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
If you don't own a cell phone, please explain:________________________

Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead

Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that
[ ] Eating
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[x] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop

Please indicate how many times:
a) you expect to shoot at other drivers ____
b) how many times you expect to be shot at while driving ____

If you are the victim of a car jacking, you should immediately:
a) Call the police to report the crime
b) Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high-speed chase
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through
d) Call your therapist
e) None of the above (South Central residents only)

In the event of an earthquake, should you:
a) stop your car
b) keep driving and hope for the best
c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones
d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4

In the instance of rain, you should:
a) decelerate by 5 mph
b) drive twice as fast as usual
c) you're not sure what "rain" is

Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ____.
Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
a) Prozac
b) Zovirax
c) Lithium
d) Zanax
e) Valium
f) Zoloft
If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
a) 1 hour
b) 2 hours
c) 3 hours
d) 4 hours or more

When stopped by police, should you:
a) pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready
b) try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway
c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit.


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Rate This | Posted over 9 years ago


Hahaha. I love it. I just came back from LA so I kinda know what you're talking about.


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Rate This | Posted about 9 years ago


That was great. That could apply for Orange County ,CA too.


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Rate This | Posted about 9 years ago


LOL, it is a different world down there.


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Rate This | Posted about 9 years ago


Sounds like Dallas could learn a lot from L.A. .... I've been doing 85 in the HOV lane and had cars come up on me like I was standing still, flashing their headlights for me to get the he77 outta their way! DPD generally won't even stop you unless you're doing at least 15-20 MPH over the posted limit on the freeway.*
*This is NOT in any way an endorcement or encouragement to disregard posted limits while in the Metroplex and in no way an acceptance of responsibility for such actions are accepted, expressed or implied.
(My attorney said to put that part in.) lol


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Rate This | Posted about 9 years ago


LOL I live south of LA in corona about 30 min to 1 hour away.....its sill a different world to me up there. I used to live in East LA but its changed so much. Kinda sad. Still I bet a lot of people would fail if a test like that came up haha. They need a choice on the carjacking question where you can jack someone else's car and chase the P.O.S. down, in LA they'd probably do that. No one calls the police in LA, if they do their neighbor who has a warrant has a camera.


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Rate This | Posted about 9 years ago


I beg to differ with chpeve, everyone in LA calls the police.


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Rate This | Posted about 9 years ago


That was hilarious but with the changing times it would make a lot of sense.


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Rate This | Posted about 9 years ago


chpeve...whereabouts in Corona? I'm in the "crown town" as well.


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Rate This | Posted about 9 years ago


I live in south florida we need a test like that down here. It should also be in spainish for most everyone down here. I here nothing but mostly spainish down here. But that's funny, test.