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You might be a Cop if

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Fountain_apprec_lunch_10-24-07__3__max600_max50

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Posted over 6 years ago

 

You have the bladder capacity of five people

You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience

You believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm

You call for a records check on anyone that is friendly toward you

You think it is perfectly normal to discuss dismemberment over a gourmet meal

You can identify a negative "tattoo to tooth" ratio just by looking at a person

You find humor in other people's stupidity

You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac

You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see

You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance

You believe that a "shallow gene pool" should be grounds for an arrest

You believe that the Government should require a permit to reproduce

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it sure is

quiet around here"

You refer to your nightstick as your "Dork Slayer

You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a prick

You have wanted to hold a seminar on "Suicide, getting it right the first time"

You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a valid jury verdict

You have had to put a complainant on hold, while you laugh uncontrollably

You have wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to a particular bar

You believe the dispatcher is possessed

You think caffeine should be available in I.V. form

You're not referring to food when you mention vegetables

You believe that the holding cell should come with a Valium saltlick

You have heard: "I have no idea how that got there," on more than a few occasions

You suddenly realize one night that you are patrolling the Twilight Zone

You have learned a lot about paranoia, simply by following random cars around in

your patrol car

You believe that it is a "good" death only if it involves overtime

you have to check to make sure your weapon is "ready to rock n' roll" before using a public restroom

you read your wife the Miranda warning whenever she says "we need to talk"

you can tell the severity of an accident just by hearing the sirens

you have co-workers that pay more in child support and alimony every month than you make in a year

 

The-runaway-stretched-canvas-print-c13214034_max50

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+5

Rated +5 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

You ask for your miranda waring before you talk to your wife/girlfriend.   hahah good post!


Romans 13:4 "For he is God's minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he is God's minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil
The task ahead of you is never as great as the power behind you

Ncflag_max50

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+4

Rated +4 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

while off duty sitting at a red light, you look for skid marks in the intersection and determine the point of impact

Fountain_apprec_lunch_10-24-07__3__max600_max50

98 posts

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+1

Rated +1 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

wtb says ...



while off duty sitting at a red light, you look for skid marks in the intersection and determine the point of impact



LOL OMG that is flipping funny

Rm1106_max50

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+2

Rated +2 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

chellygirl1969 says ...



You have the bladder capacity of five people

You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience

You believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm

You call for a records check on anyone that is friendly toward you

You think it is perfectly normal to discuss dismemberment over a gourmet meal

You can identify a negative "tattoo to tooth" ratio just by looking at a person

You find humor in other people's stupidity

You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac

You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see

You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance

You believe that a "shallow gene pool" should be grounds for an arrest

You believe that the Government should require a permit to reproduce

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it sure is

quiet around here"

You refer to your nightstick as your "Dork Slayer

You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a prick

You have wanted to hold a seminar on "Suicide, getting it right the first time"

You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a valid jury verdict

You have had to put a complainant on hold, while you laugh uncontrollably

You have wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to a particular bar

You believe the dispatcher is possessed

You think caffeine should be available in I.V. form

You're not referring to food when you mention vegetables

You believe that the holding cell should come with a Valium saltlick

You have heard: "I have no idea how that got there," on more than a few occasions

You suddenly realize one night that you are patrolling the Twilight Zone

You have learned a lot about paranoia, simply by following random cars around in

your patrol car

You believe that it is a "good" death only if it involves overtime

you have to check to make sure your weapon is "ready to rock n' roll" before using a public restroom

you read your wife the Miranda warning whenever she says "we need to talk"

you can tell the severity of an accident just by hearing the sirens

you have co-workers that pay more in child support and alimony every month than you make in a year

 



All of them are great 

Badge2_max50

116 posts

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+5

Rated +5 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

If you observe a traffic violation while driving your personal vehicle off duty and you reach down to turn on the blue-lights....you might be a cop lol

Revan_max50

334 posts

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+1

Rated +1 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

I love this. If you have any more stuff like this please post it.

Badge2_max50

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+3

Rated +3 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

If the first thing you say when you wake up in the morning is "Central, I'll be 10-8"...you might be a cop

Apex_20pd_20fb_2001012138_1_

317 posts

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+3

Rated +3 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

these are great !!!   jeff foxworthy needs some of these !!!!

Badge2_max50

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+1

Rated +1 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

apexpd492 says ...



these are great !!!   jeff foxworthy needs some of these !!!!



LOL yeah. This is totally unrealed to LE but here's one for him. If you have to ask the chickens to get out of your way before you can come in the house, you might be a redneck lol! I thought out that this morning when I came home and my mom's chickens were on the porch.

1978-81_photos_max600_max50

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+1

Rated +1 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Introducing you're self and asking for your driver's lic.!! LoL



 


RALPH'S CHANNEL ON VEETLE.COM
http://veetle.com/index.php/channel/view#4d45b205a60f2
Cool 101 Kalamazoo Oldies Station 103
http://www.wqxc.com/
A Cool Website On History In Photos Of The New York City Police Department!
http://www.policeny.com/
Police Pulse!
http://www.policepulse.com/main/invitation/new
Policevets!
http://www.policevets.org/

Lastlight_max50

49 posts

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+1

Rated +1 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

FutureTNcop says ...



If you observe a traffic violation while driving your personal vehicle off duty and you reach down to turn on the blue-lights....you might be a cop lol



LOL i have caught myself doing that.  alll of them are great though

Glock_max50

4 posts

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+1

Rated +1 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

determining jusy by looking at the boy who came to pick up your daughter for a first date .... if you are doing to bad boys scene on him... or calling out the SWAT team ....  

My_short_hair_max50

266 posts

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+1

Rated +1 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

that was cute

2008-01-10-1642-22_edited_max50

58 posts

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+2

Rated +2 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

SO FUNNY I almost fell off the chair I was laughing so hard


GREAT POST!!!!!

Fountain_apprec_lunch_10-24-07__3__max600_max50

98 posts

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+2

Rated +2 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

aimeeaustin says ...



SO FUNNY I almost fell off the chair I was laughing so hard


GREAT POST!!!!!



lol im very glad you guy's like this

Me_max50

17 posts

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+2

Rated +2 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

You're in your POV and see a vehicle coming at you that you know is speeding and you reach to turn on the RADAR unit.


You are driving around in your cruiser and you mistake your radio for your nextel two-way and say something inappropriate over the air.


"Of every one hundred men, Ten shouldn't even be there, Eighty are nothing but targets, Nine are real fighters...We are lucky to have them...They make the battle. Ah, but the One, One of them is a Warrior...and He will bring the others back."- Hericletus (circa 500 B.C.)

Photo_user_banned_big

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+1

Rated +1 | Posted about 6 years ago

 

 


You might be a cop if you're reading license numbers on oncoming cars even off duty with the wife and kids.


You might be a cop if shopping at Wal-Mart and see some turd you know has a warrant and you follow him around til the uniforms arrive.


You might be a cop if you run a crimminal history on your daughter's boyfriend.


You might be a cop if you feel like an easy mark for every kid selling candy, fruit, meat sticks, coupons or raffle tickets for every school club or function in a 500 mile radius.


You might be a cop if every time you walk into a room and some idiot yells "I didn't do it, take him".


You might be a cop if every time you are introduced to someone as Deputy, Officer and what ever your last name is.


I'd rather have a sister in a whore thouse than a brother with a Glock

Mommy_and_garrett_max50

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+1

Rated +1 | Posted about 6 years ago

 

ROFLMAO about holding a seminar about getting suicide done right the first time....I use to work at a hospital and oh , i'm a bad bad person lol...... YOU might be a cop if you run a criminal history on ALL of your kids' mothers/fathers new b/fs g/fs. That ever happen to any of ya'll? lol. YES if you wanna know. lol


~rachel~

1978-81_photos_max600_max50

9172 posts

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+2

Rated +2 | Posted about 6 years ago

 

You might be a cop if,

You're prisoner reads you the Miranda!


Another cop gives you a speeding ticket while driving your patrol car!



 


RALPH'S CHANNEL ON VEETLE.COM
http://veetle.com/index.php/channel/view#4d45b205a60f2
Cool 101 Kalamazoo Oldies Station 103
http://www.wqxc.com/
A Cool Website On History In Photos Of The New York City Police Department!
http://www.policeny.com/
Police Pulse!
http://www.policepulse.com/main/invitation/new
Policevets!
http://www.policevets.org/

-29 posts

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+1

Rated +1 | Posted about 6 years ago

 

The last one applies at my dept. 

-10 posts

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+1

Rated +1 | Posted about 6 years ago

 

wtb says ...



while off duty sitting at a red light, you look for skid marks in the intersection and determine the point of impact



Who sits at a red light while on or off duty?

My_kawi_zx6r_jan_2012_-_copy_max50

161 posts

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+2

Rated +2 | Posted about 6 years ago

 

You might be a cop if...


You don't remember your last day off and have no idea when the next will be.


You work more OT than straight time and still bring home less than your cousin, the truck driver who doesn't know what OT is.


You get totally pissed off by the fact that people make millions a year to entertain us, while so many of those who defend, rescue, heal, and educate us are on welfare just to get by.


 


Mike


Rule 1) End the day in better condition than you started.

Rule 2) Be smarter, faster, stronger, tougher, meaner than any son of a bitch who tries to make you violate rule 1.

My_kids_max50

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Rate

Rate This | Posted about 6 years ago

 

You might be a cop if you're two year old daughter would rather watch COPS with you than cartoons

Photo_user_blank_big

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+1

Rated +1 | Posted about 6 years ago

 

When I make trips to Wal Mart I think how much fun it would be to go undercover as a greeter with the local warrant list...

Photo_user_blank_big

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Rate

Rate This | Posted about 6 years ago

 

Here's another one I just thunk of....You think of bar closing as the greatest national pastime and start getting all giddy at 0145ish.

0930121924_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 6 years ago

 

Cute,  What was we talking about!


I love each day like its my last! Why do we are have to be so serious?

0930121924_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 6 years ago

 

you drink too much coffee!


I love each day like its my last! Why do we are have to be so serious?

Dsc01102_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 6 years ago

 

johnlaw484c says ...



You might be a cop if you feel like an easy mark for every kid selling candy, fruit, meat sticks, coupons or raffle tickets for every school club or function in a 500 mile radius.


 


OMG!! I hate that !!! those little buggers tick me off! 


 


lol.."meat sticks"


 



Im Deputy Natalie J. and I approve this message !!!

Photobucket

My_kids_027_max50

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Rate This | Posted about 6 years ago

 

Finally someone has figured us out

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