You have the bladder capacity of five people

You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience

You believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm

You call for a records check on anyone that is friendly toward you

You think it is perfectly normal to discuss dismemberment over a gourmet meal

You can identify a negative "tattoo to tooth" ratio just by looking at a person

You find humor in other people's stupidity

You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac

You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see

You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance

You believe that a "shallow gene pool" should be grounds for an arrest

You believe that the Government should require a permit to reproduce

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it sure is

quiet around here"

You refer to your nightstick as your "Dork Slayer

You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a prick

You have wanted to hold a seminar on "Suicide, getting it right the first time"

You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a valid jury verdict

You have had to put a complainant on hold, while you laugh uncontrollably

You have wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to a particular bar

You believe the dispatcher is possessed

You think caffeine should be available in I.V. form

You're not referring to food when you mention vegetables

You believe that the holding cell should come with a Valium saltlick

You have heard: "I have no idea how that got there," on more than a few occasions

You suddenly realize one night that you are patrolling the Twilight Zone

You have learned a lot about paranoia, simply by following random cars around in

your patrol car

You believe that it is a "good" death only if it involves overtime

you have to check to make sure your weapon is "ready to rock n' roll" before using a public restroom

you read your wife the Miranda warning whenever she says "we need to talk"

you can tell the severity of an accident just by hearing the sirens

you have co-workers that pay more in child support and alimony every month than you make in a year

 

while off duty sitting at a red light, you look for skid marks in the intersection and determine the point of impact

chellygirl1969 says ...

You have the bladder capacity of five people

You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience

You believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm

You call for a records check on anyone that is friendly toward you

You think it is perfectly normal to discuss dismemberment over a gourmet meal

You can identify a negative "tattoo to tooth" ratio just by looking at a person

You find humor in other people's stupidity

You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac

You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see

You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance

You believe that a "shallow gene pool" should be grounds for an arrest

You believe that the Government should require a permit to reproduce

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it sure is

quiet around here"

You refer to your nightstick as your "Dork Slayer

You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a prick

You have wanted to hold a seminar on "Suicide, getting it right the first time"

You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a valid jury verdict

You have had to put a complainant on hold, while you laugh uncontrollably

You have wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to a particular bar

You believe the dispatcher is possessed

You think caffeine should be available in I.V. form

You're not referring to food when you mention vegetables

You believe that the holding cell should come with a Valium saltlick

You have heard: "I have no idea how that got there," on more than a few occasions

You suddenly realize one night that you are patrolling the Twilight Zone

You have learned a lot about paranoia, simply by following random cars around in

your patrol car

You believe that it is a "good" death only if it involves overtime

you have to check to make sure your weapon is "ready to rock n' roll" before using a public restroom

you read your wife the Miranda warning whenever she says "we need to talk"

you can tell the severity of an accident just by hearing the sirens

you have co-workers that pay more in child support and alimony every month than you make in a year

 

All of them are great 

I love this. If you have any more stuff like this please post it.

these are great !!!   jeff foxworthy needs some of these !!!!

Introducing you're self and asking for your driver's lic.!! LoL

determining jusy by looking at the boy who came to pick up your daughter for a first date .... if you are doing to bad boys scene on him... or calling out the SWAT team ....  

SO FUNNY I almost fell off the chair I was laughing so hard

GREAT POST!!!!!

You're in your POV and see a vehicle coming at you that you know is speeding and you reach to turn on the RADAR unit.

You are driving around in your cruiser and you mistake your radio for your nextel two-way and say something inappropriate over the air.

ROFLMAO about holding a seminar about getting suicide done right the first time....I use to work at a hospital and oh , i'm a bad bad person lol...... YOU might be a cop if you run a criminal history on ALL of your kids' mothers/fathers new b/fs g/fs. That ever happen to any of ya'll? lol. YES if you wanna know. lol

The last one applies at my dept. 

You might be a cop if...

You don't remember your last day off and have no idea when the next will be.

You work more OT than straight time and still bring home less than your cousin, the truck driver who doesn't know what OT is.

You get totally pissed off by the fact that people make millions a year to entertain us, while so many of those who defend, rescue, heal, and educate us are on welfare just to get by.

Mike

When I make trips to Wal Mart I think how much fun it would be to go undercover as a greeter with the local warrant list...

Cute,  What was we talking about!

johnlaw484c says ...

You might be a cop if you feel like an easy mark for every kid selling candy, fruit, meat sticks, coupons or raffle tickets for every school club or function in a 500 mile radius.

 

OMG!! I hate that !!! those little buggers tick me off! 

 

lol.."meat sticks"