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Funny 911 calls.....

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Posted about 6 years ago

 

Funny 911 Calls

Actual phone calls to 911.


Dispatcher: "911."Caller: "Hi, is this the police?"Dispatcher: "This is

911. Do you need police assistance?"Caller: "Well, I don't know who to

call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before."


Dispatcher: "911. Fire or emergency?"Caller: "My power's out!"Dispatcher:

"Yes, sir, we're aware of that. Do you have an emergency?" Caller: "No, I don't have a damn emergency. I just want to know if I'm going to be getting a rebate for the length of time I'm without power."Dispatcher: "Uhhh, no,

sir, you won't be charged for the electricity you didn't use."Caller: "Well, that's more like it!


"Dispatcher: "911. What's the address of your emergency?"Caller: "I need to

know what I can do about someone who came into my home and put boogers on

my wall."Dispatcher: "Did you invite this person into your home?"Caller:

"Yes, but I didn't give him permission to put boogers on the walls.


"Dispatcher: "911. What is your emergency?"Male Caller: "You have got

people working in the school right now. And they've been working all night

violating the noise code over here."Dispatcher: "Sir, a noise complaint is

not an emergency call. You'll have to call on the business line."Male

Caller: "Well how about if I shoot them, would it be an emergency

then?"Dispatcher: "Sure would."Male Caller: "Alright.


"Dispatcher: "911."Male Caller: "I need a paramedic. Can you send one or do

I need to call someone else?"Dispatcher: "I'll take care of that, sir. Just

calm down. What's the problem?"Male Caller: I saw a medical special on TV

last night about a rare disease, and I think I have all the symptoms. My

neighbor thinks I do, too.


"Dispatcher: "911."Female Caller: "I am trapped in my house."Dispatcher:

"Trapped? Is someone holding you there?"Female Caller: "Someone? No. But

there is a frog on the front porch."Dispatcher: "A frog?"Female Caller:

"Yes, a frog."Dispatcher: "Okay, but what is preventing you from leaving

the house?"Female Caller: "I told you. There is a frog on the front porch

and I am afraid of frogs."Dispatcher: "And you don't have another door to

the house?"Female Caller: "No. There is only one door and I can't get out

of the house with the frog sitting there."Dispatcher: "Why don't you take a

broom and sweep the frog off the porch?"Female Caller: "I can't do that. I

told you, I am afraid of frogs. He might get me."Dispatcher: "Um...I'm not

sure I can help you with

this."


Dispatcher: "911. What's the address of your emergency?"Citizen: [no

response]Dispatcher: "911. What's the address of your emergency?"Citizen

[tentatively]: "Hello?"Dispatcher: "Yes, this is 911, can I help

you?"Citizen: "You have the wrong number!


"Dispatcher: "911. What's the

address of your emergency?"Caller: "Can I give you my credit card number

over the phone to pay on my warrant?"Dispatcher: "What's the

offense?"Caller: "Credit card fraud.


"Dispatcher: "911."Caller: "Help! Help! Send the police! I been

shot."Dispatcher: "You said you've been shot?"Caller: "I been

shot!"Dispatcher: "How many times were you shot?"Caller: "This is the first

time.


"Dispatcher: "911. What is the location of your emergency?"Caller: "Yes, I

just wanted to let you know that I have some information that will help you

solve many of your cases."Dispatcher [noting that the call originated from

the state hospital]: "Okay, go ahead with that information."Caller: "I am

prepared to meet with the detectives and to reveal the true identity of

Cinderella's stepmother."Dispatcher: [Pause] "Okay."


 


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~~~'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'