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Need your input...

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Posted over 7 years ago

 

I am preparing a class for LE families on Stress. I certainly have some ideas about what might be helpful information to share with them, but I'd like to ask you all: if your department was offering a class for families, what would YOU like to see covered in it? What sorts of questions would you like to have addressed?

I'm addressing my question to family members and to cops-- officers, what do you wish your families knew? Families, what would you find helpful?

This class will include spouses/live-in partners and older kids.

Thanks for any help you can give me!

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Funny you put this up here...I'm preparing a class for our officers families. It's titled 10 Steps to Urban Survival. It will basically give the family members an idea on how we think; what to look out for, some statistical data and to guide them around some specifics of our job.

My wife and I attended a Cop Spouse Conference here in North Texas (FREE) at ILEA. It was outstanding...they did a bunch of personality test that helped us understand a lot about each other and how we think. It helped us both later knowing what area's are best not argued over due to strong feelings. I forgot the Test name, but it categorized each person in categories. The categories were named - Abe Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, George Washington and Jimmy Carter. Abe is huge thinker - Teddy is outgoing/crazy in a good way - George is very mathodical (everything in it's place type person) and believes in rules and Jimmy was the Team oriented person (motivator/morale builder).....

Then they would put you on a scale of 1-20 and your highest score is who you are and the second highest score is how you communicate your feelings/beliefs to your spouse and/or world. If you're interested in using some of the literature look up "Myers Briggs" on the internet. Since you're a Chaplain, you're probably already aware of such test....it gave me a lot of clarity with my spouse.... hope that helps....be safe:)

Oh - I was a 15 George, 14 Teddy, 11 Abe and 10 Jimmy... (FYI - 70% of Police Sergeants/Lieutenants show highest score on George)

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

The Myers-Briggs I know, and use all the time. That's a VERY helpful tool.

I'll be drawing heavily on the Gilmartin book.

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

I THINK THE HARDEST THING ON AN LE FAMILY IS REALIZING THE DANGERS THAT THEIR LOVED ONE FACES EVERY DAY. I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS 5 I WENT TO MY GRANDMOTHERS FOR THE DAY. WHEN I RETURNED HOME, MY FATHER HAD ALREADY LEFT FOR 2ND SHIFT PATROL. I REMEMBER HAVING THIS FEAR, THIS DREAD, THAT MY FATHER WOULDN'T COME HOME AGAIN AND I DIDN'T GET TO HUG HIM BYE. THIS WAS IN 1975 IN A SMALL KY COMMUNITY. MY FEARS WERE REALIZED IN 1991 WHEN MY FATHER WAS SHOT AND KILLED IN THE LINE OF DUTY. EVERYONE ALWAYS TOLD ME WHEN I WAS A CHILD THAT BAD THINGS LIKE THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN SMALL PLACES. I THINK EVERY CHILD THAT HAS A PARENT THAT IS AN L E O DOES HAVE THAT FEAR IN THEM. KIMBERLY KIDWELL DAUGHTER OF FALLEN STANFORD KY OFFICER GARY KIDWELL E O W 1-20-91

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Kimberly, I am sorry for your loss, and appreciative of the burden of worry you carried for so many years when you were "loaning" your father to the community.

I know this is going back a ways, but can you remember anything your parents did back then to help you cope with the worry? Is there advice you would like to give current LE families?

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

When does being a mother of a fallen officer end?? Never! I'm the mother of Deputy Shadron K. Bassett E.O.W.
Oct. 7, 05. He was killed in an auto accident on his way to a call. He was a man 34 years old, but still my baby. Our last time together will always be ingraved my mind and heart. He was a new believer in Jesus and he needed God's guidence on some things he was dealing with as a man not a sheriff and he came to me. We spent 4 hours in God's word seeing what God wanted him to do. Bless his heart he did God's will, even though it wasn't always easy. I'd have to say, each of us should live each day as if it were our last. I'd like to see something where mothers are included in anything honoring or even involving their sons. I live 25 miles from the county he worked for, so I never get notified of anything that goes on. I realize that it's probably the wife's job to let me know, but there is no communication with her. Her choice. If you can give me any ideas on how to be notified please let me know. I love him to this day and I miss him very deeply. I just want to be connected, he is my son. His greatest honor is sitting at the right hand of the Father, our Lord Jesus Christ. We will be together again one day. Thankyou for taking time to listen to a mother who is like any mother.. We love our children and they are the biggest part of our hearts. God bless and keep you all.

Mother

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

My condolences on your loss, Mother Bassett!

As for being notified about activities honoring your son-- like Police Week services and such-- I have a couple thoughts. One would be to contact his department and ask them to put you on a contact list, in addition to Shadron's widow. In my area, such services are usually organized by chaplains or larger departments. Your son's department would likely be able to tell you who does the organizing in your area. That's the person/group who should have you on a mailing list.

Is there a chapter of COPS near you? (Concerns of Police Survivors) I think you would find them a great support. They would be aware on local services or events-- they might often be the sponsoring body.

ODMP.org can keep you aware of national events, and I imagine you have already found their web-page since they are linked to this one.

I am sure it is a comfort to you that your son was a believer. The longer I live, the more people I love are "on the other side".

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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Hi
I was deeply affected by the murder of OFFICER MICHAEL BRIGGS, Here in Manchester , NH
I sent $ to the family fund, my 10 year old daughter and I made collages of the news photos and sent them to the MHT PD. I joined COPS to be able to help. I wonder, can one ever do enough?
I do not know Mrs Briggs, but Ihave sent books for her to THE MHT PD
I have a contact persone there, she is very nice. I still feel very much the grief.

RIMA new member since yesterday


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Rate This | Posted over 7 years ago

 

Rima it sounds as though you have done enough and you should pray for the family and thank God that you were able to provide so much . believe me the families hearts truly appriciate anything anyone does for them at this time for they aren't thinking to straight right now. God Bless You and your family!!

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

For anyone interested the Harvard Medical School has a publication called "Stress Management, Techniques for Preventing and Easing Stress" www.health.harvard.edu, www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat or email HEALTHbeat@hms.harvard.edu. They have many publications that can be electronically downloaded.


In like manner the spirit also joins in with help for our weakness, for the problem of what we should pray for as we need to we do not know but the spirit itself pleads for us with groanings uttered.

No man serving as a soldier involves himself in the commercial businesses of life, in order that he may gain the approval of the one who enrolled him as a soldier. 5. Moreover, if anyone conten

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

Thanks, Sues.

Another good source for information on critical incident stress is www.icisf.org which is the website for the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation.

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Rate This | Posted about 7 years ago

 

ChaplainKeppy or Tat2(or Gone): Don't mean to keep interfering and you may already know about this but, I just remembered a book I read awhile ago by the FBI that included stress test specific to the Police. If you go on the web under FBI Publications and Reports and then search " police and stress" there are BSU Publications that can be downloaded at https://fbiva.fbiacademy.edu. Some of the publications are "Law Enforcement Families: Issues and Answers ", and "Critical Incidence in Policing."


In like manner the spirit also joins in with help for our weakness, for the problem of what we should pray for as we need to we do not know but the spirit itself pleads for us with groanings uttered.

No man serving as a soldier involves himself in the commercial businesses of life, in order that he may gain the approval of the one who enrolled him as a soldier. 5. Moreover, if anyone conten