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Girlfriend of Cop

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Posted over 6 years ago

 

I come to this website to help me remember what it is my Cop goes through on a daily basis.  On any day he could called out on Barricade or Narcotics situation.  He is in a Special Unit that really limits his time he can spend away from the job.  We've only been together for 5 months now; and it's the hardest relationship I've ever been in. 


My cop is by nature sweet, thoughtful.  What I have noticed is the times when he is in what I like to call; "Police Mode"  That is when I don't get the "hey baby" how are you?  I get the short word answers; it never last for long, but always throws me off a little.  This usually means he is in some type of stressful situation.  Can anyone tell me what to say or rather not say when he is like this?  Should I just let him vent and say nothing?

Cute_max50

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Rated +1 | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Answering as a cop who is married to a non-cop type. 


If he feels the need to loop you on what's going on, he will.  It's possible in these situations that he can't tell you what's happening, he's too busy to tell you what's happening, he doesn't want to tell you what's happening etc.  Take your cue from him and if roll with the punches.  I can't give you a blanket piece of advice to cover every situation, since our jobs take us into something different pretty much every time we respond to something.


Unless you see signs of what you think is extreme distress or self destruction, I'd let him be and like I said, just roll with it.  It takes a lot of patience and love to be the significant other of a person who works in Law Enforcement.  Good luck :)


If you don't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them.

N725313004_1114080_3236_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

sgtdemanda says ...



Answering as a cop who is married to a non-cop type. 


If he feels the need to loop you on what's going on, he will.  It's possible in these situations that he can't tell you what's happening, he's too busy to tell you what's happening, he doesn't want to tell you what's happening etc.  Take your cue from him and if roll with the punches.  I can't give you a blanket piece of advice to cover every situation, since our jobs take us into something different pretty much every time we respond to something.


Unless you see signs of what you think is extreme distress or self destruction, I'd let him be and like I said, just roll with it.  It takes a lot of patience and love to be the significant other of a person who works in Law Enforcement.  Good luck :)



If your the "ever calling type" normally, that doesnt alway go voer well with some cops (the OCCAISIONAL just thinkin about you text message is always cool and then he will call you back if he can).    Work is work, home is home.  Make the time he is able to spend with you special and not about his work.  He will let you know things when he wants to talk and is able to.   It takes a very special (understanding and supportive) person to be with an LEO. 


Here are a few other cop wife (g/f) tips I always appreciated;  1) when your out and he is staring at someone or doing the head swivel, dont make a big deal out of it he is just watching his environment to keep it safe for you  2) learn to walk on his off side (not his gun hand side)  andf dont expect to hold that hand either, only the off hand   3)  he wants to sit in the back of the restaurant with his back agains the wall, or at least facing the door so try to take up the seat opposite and let him have his way.  4) go ahead and ask, 'how was work' to give him the chance to open up, if he doesnt he doesnt, maybe later.  5)  if he's on shift work try to respect his sleep schedule and dont expect him to be up at the crack of dawn for shopping  6) there is nothing wrong with burgers at 7AM and Cheerios or eggs at dinner time.


laugh, have fun - Good Luck


"Let us speak courteously, deal fairly, and keep ourselves armed and ready."

President Theodore Roosevelt
13 May 1903

Dscn1770__-__2_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

supportive1 says ...



I come to this website to help me remember what it is my Cop goes through on a daily basis.  On any day he could called out on Barricade or Narcotics situation.  He is in a Special Unit that really limits his time he can spend away from the job.  We've only been together for 5 months now; and it's the hardest relationship I've ever been in. 


My cop is by nature sweet, thoughtful.  What I have noticed is the times when he is in what I like to call; "Police Mode"  That is when I don't get the "hey baby" how are you?  I get the short word answers; it never last for long, but always throws me off a little.  This usually means he is in some type of stressful situation.  Can anyone tell me what to say or rather not say when he is like this?  Should I just let him vent and say nothing?



Well, I haven't read any of the other answers give to you, but I can answer as a cop and having been married to a cop before I became one!  You just have to learn to give him a little bit of time and space until he gets back in his "non" police mode!  I had to learn that if I didn't get the "hey baby, how are you" it did not mean anything was wron with "us."  A Police Officer just needs that time to "unwind" after work or to get "wound" up for work.  It gets easier.  And yes, letting him vent and saying nothing is really good...even though you may not know what he's talking about!  Good luck!

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Ditto on the "calling alot" thing.... and i'd add NEVER call to gripe. Dont pester him at work with crap that'll wait until after he's been off for a while. My wife works 911 and we both try to go by this and the other listed rules.


Oh.... one other one...... if you have a fight end it one way or another before he goes to work because:


     a) he could be distracted at work...... UNSAFE


     b) If anything happened you'd never forgive yourself for your last words to him being harsh


Takes special people to be in a relationship with us!