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JEEP JOKES

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Awww_max50

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Posted over 6 years ago

 

Do yall remember any of thise good ole jeep jokes that were played on us and then as a right of passage, we played on those who came after us?


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

Awww_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

How about...go to base ops and get the master key for the airplanes.....and then base ops would give the JEEP (term used to describe new guys....meaning Just Educated Enough to Piss) the key with a bowlin pin on it


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

Awww_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Or go to the Emergency Room and get a roll of Filopean Tube. and the ER hands would give the Jeep a bunch of IV cord.


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

Awww_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

OR...the area area supervisor would tell the Jeep to go report the SRT in for Chow...and the Jeep had to walk into the chow how and say.....BEEEP BEEP, IM a JEEP, can I speak?...and then who ever was at the COP table would say Speak Jeep!...and the Jeep would report the SRT in for Chow...
and then when the Jeep got his food..he would stand at attention at the table and and say....BEEEP BEEP, Im a JEEP..CAN I EAT


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

Dapd2_0_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

While I actually worked in the missile fields I do remember hearing about the guys having to "hump" the B-52's being told to go out and get some more flightline...


"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Awww_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

trace1 said:

While I actually worked in the missile fields I do remember hearing about the guys having to "hump" the B-52's being told to go out and get some more flightline...

YUP....I forgot anout the Ole Fight Line Jeep JOKEs


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

Awww_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Yup...we would send the Jeeps to Base Ops...and tell them to get some flight line.....Base Ops and the hospital always played along with us


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

Awww_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

I was soo lucky...I had a couple idiots that came out with me...and they fell for stuff right off the bat, and were always picked on....and, I have to admit...that when I moved up in senority....I picked on the JEEPS....Sorry JEEPS!


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

In_remembrance_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

we had someone go do a FOD check on all our c-5's and then go ask some of the crew for the keys to them. that and we went to the ramp one day to check on this dude, we roll up and he's asleep. so the 2 guys who checked up on him put on their gas masks and started pounding on the window yelling for him to get his mask on that we were getting gased. he started freakin out, so the rest of the day they made him stand outside w/ his rifle at port arms, w/ his yellow police rain jacket as a chem suit and then a paper bag over his head as his mask that he was supposed to have (which being the high speed guy he is he didnt have it)


Life has many influence's; it's your application that set's you apart

Awww_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

thebig_d_58 says ...



we had someone go do a FOD check on all our c-5's and then go ask some of the crew for the keys to them. that and we went to the ramp one day to check on this dude, we roll up and he's asleep. so the 2 guys who checked up on him put on their gas masks and started pounding on the window yelling for him to get his mask on that we were getting gased. he started freakin out, so the rest of the day they made him stand outside w/ his rifle at port arms, w/ his yellow police rain jacket as a chem suit and then a paper bag over his head as his mask that he was supposed to have (which being the high speed guy he is he didnt have it)



When we would find someone sleeping in a vehicle......we would do a number of things...one, was to chauk there tires. Another, was..if we could get there M-16, we would take something out of it...like the bolt...that way when they went to the clearing barrel, they would have a surprise...it was funny...


The guys with the chaulked tires would always freek out and think they ran into something....Oh the idle times we spent on the flightline...


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

Donutcop_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

You could always send them to get a bucket of prop wash!

Awww_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

gvbpilot says ...



You could always send them to get a bucket of prop wash!



I forgot about the prop wash!...we used to use that one too! I forgot!!


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

Th_germanshepard_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

With the cooperation of a pilot, the pilot would run up to the jeep guarding the airplane and ask for the key.


Beyond fatigue lies compensatory hypertrophy

Awww_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

DFrost says ...



With the cooperation of a pilot, the pilot would run up to the jeep guarding the airplane and ask for the key.



Yup...they used to do that at my base too!


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

Gizmo_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

What about getting the jeep to test sensors by flapping his arms like a bird?  You'd tell him it wasn't good enough to set off the alarm and you'd get him to flap harder until thetower operater would tell him he was cleared for take off?

Awww_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Maguai says ...



What about getting the jeep to test sensors by flapping his arms like a bird?  You'd tell him it wasn't good enough to set off the alarm and you'd get him to flap harder until thetower operater would tell him he was cleared for take off?



We had the "BISS" system. We used to do that too.....We also used to make them do "Light" checks with the Tower. We would make em stand an the tar mack with a road reflective vest and wave a flashlight. We would make em wave till the tower said they could see them....of course, the tower never responded....The Jeeps would jump up and down and wave there arms back and forth....it was funny.


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

Welcome20to20ramstein_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

we asked them to get the key for the hummer hahah


 

Img_0108_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

This one is an old classic.......and still works.   We'd give the "JEEP" the phone number to Weather and tell the JEEP to verify if Major Storm was still coming in in time for guardmount the next day. 


 


If stationed where there was a sattelite site or Deep Space Tracking System we'd have the troop lay down in the middle of a field and have them put their id card face up on their chest to do a sattelite "camera" check.   We'd have them change their radio to a different frequency still controlled by our control center (but to him controlled by another base agency).  Then the other "base agency" would call in personal info found on the id to the individual and have him acknowledge.   In reality it was just the desk or CSC  calling in info they have on the alpha roster.  The funny part was in seeing how "impressed" the troop would be with the technology.


 


There are quite a few other Jeep jokes I'll get too when I remember them.

Photo_user_banned_big

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

My wifes flight on mids at Langley had some new guy rope and cone off the B-52, post restricted area signs, and walk it.

Picture_174_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

The bucket of prop wash was always a good one. Our fire dept loved to play along in that one with us. We would get the new jeep to report to the FD for a bucket of prop wash. The FD actually had a 5 gallon bucket that they would fill with soapy water and the big initial painted on the side of the bucket "PW". It would be hilarious to see this new jeep walking back to the squadron carrying this bucket.

Afspa_life_member-back_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

One of the best I can remember (it's been 46 years - WOW!)


Anyway, when we would recover a Chrome Dome B-52 (24 hour airborne alert aircraft), we would assign a newbie (JEEP) to the tail of the aircraft.  After everything was downloaded and secured, we would get the crew chief to "track" the JEEP walking the tail on the gun cameras of the quad 50's in the tail.  He would charge the guns with air pressure and then move the guns to follow, as the JEEP walked back and forth in the rear (between the plane an the blast shiled).  It didn't take too long for the guard to realize that everytime he moved, the guns followed him with a LOUD "whir-r-r-r".  (Remeber, we are watching all this on the monitor up front).  After a couple of passes back and forth, the crew chief would "fire" (discharge the guns air pressure).  On more than one ocassion we had guards going one direction, taking cover and their helmet and other pieces of equipment going another.  We even had one guy that "literally" climbed the blast shield to get away!  Oh well, those "fun" days are long gone, but the memories remain (at least for awhile, till we can't remember them, or the "newbies" stop asking :-)


Thanks for the opportunity to remember :-)


Ed


Retired AF Security Police Senior Master Sergeant (E-8)/1st Sergeant (26 years active duty). Proud to be called a COP!
"SUPPORT OUR TROOPS" Group Administrator

Donutcop_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Not an SP one, but when I was in Air Traffic, on our old radar system, we could electronically create planes on the radar scope.  We would set up newbies and call in as a real plane.  It was best when we had a newbie in tower and radar.  We would create B-2's or SR71's.  Even had tower newbies SWEAR that they saw a SR71 to a flyby...  Amazing when they won't admit they can't find something...  It was hilarous watching their expressions sometimes when they heard the mayday from the SR71

Picture_174_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

When I was stationed in Iceland, we were a fighter interceptor wing and our jets would intercept Russian bear long range bombers enroute to Cuba to make sure they didn't enter US airspace. They would always get russian bears on radar and scramble the fighers.Keep in mind that the russian planes were several hundred miles away when the fighter went to intercept them. We used to make our jeeps do "bear watch". they had to keep a vigilant eye on the sky looking for bears. One time we had a jeep doing bear watch when a bear was seen on radar 250 miles away and the fighters scrambled. Our area sup goes out to the area and proceeds to rip into this newie saying " That bear flew right over the base and you didn't see it, now they had to send the fighters up and the wing commander is furious".


 


Another good one was in the weapon storage area where they stored nukes. We would take the chem lights, cut the tops off, and empty the contents on the ground right outside the structure that housed the weapons. We would then have the new guy do a structure check. When they would get close to this glow in the dark liquid on the ground, we would freak out and tell the newbie that he was contaminated. We would then make them don their gas mask, and run to the wash station on the other side of the area.

Awww_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Ponycar says ...



When I was stationed in Iceland, we were a fighter interceptor wing and our jets would intercept Russian bear long range bombers enroute to Cuba to make sure they didn't enter US airspace. They would always get russian bears on radar and scramble the fighers.Keep in mind that the russian planes were several hundred miles away when the fighter went to intercept them. We used to make our jeeps do "bear watch". they had to keep a vigilant eye on the sky looking for bears. One time we had a jeep doing bear watch when a bear was seen on radar 250 miles away and the fighters scrambled. Our area sup goes out to the area and proceeds to rip into this newie saying " That bear flew right over the base and you didn't see it, now they had to send the fighters up and the wing commander is furious".


 


Another good one was in the weapon storage area where they stored nukes. We would take the chem lights, cut the tops off, and empty the contents on the ground right outside the structure that housed the weapons. We would then have the new guy do a structure check. When they would get close to this glow in the dark liquid on the ground, we would freak out and tell the newbie that he was contaminated. We would then make them don their gas mask, and run to the wash station on the other side of the area.



DUDE!! Thats Funny!!!


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

Police2_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Don't forget push starting light carts!!  JEEP gets to pushin and you hit the start button just a tad to give em motivation to push faster.

Img_0344_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

I totally forgot about this one until last week.  I just got to the kennels and was washing pans when a slick sleeve ran into the kennels.  He was all out of breathe and told one of our new handlers that his patrol leader needed K-nine-P as soon as possible.  The other handler is new to the game and he was like WTF are you talking about?  Me and the KM and Trainer almost fell out of our chairs because both of these clowns had no effin clue what was going on.  Somehow between laughing the three of us managed to explain that they needed to take a rubber glove and a speciman jar into the kennels and hold under one of the dogs.  It finally clicked and both the slick sleeve and our handler got pissed and went outside!

Awww_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Jeep jokes were sooo much fun.....(sigh)...


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

Dscn4699_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 6 years ago

 

While posted at the main gate at Carswell in 90, I had a security troop posted with me and he fell for the tower light calibration test.  I told him to count the rotations per minute and he called it in to the LED.  He also performed a line of sight check with an adjacent gate where he signalled with arm signals and flashlight (30 seconds flashing, 30 seconds solid).  Lastly he also heard the desk sgt tell me on the radio to initate checks at my location (which actually meant ID checks), he was told to don his protective equipment (flack vest, helmet, gas mask) and he did.  I was nice enough to allow him to stand inside the gateshack, but he volunteered to check IDs a while to give me a break.  Keep in mind we where wearing blues with full gate guard gear at the time.  This was all in the same night.  I almost feel bad about it.

102_0163_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 6 years ago

 

for all those at the missile bases we would make all the FNG's go out on the helo pad and hold their ID's in the air to do a "satellite check". they would have to stand completley still with their arm straight in the air holding the ID and if we saw them shift even a little bit we would tell them over the P.A. we would have to restart the check.


Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum

Awww_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 6 years ago

 

KFJames71 says ...



While posted at the main gate at Carswell in 90, I had a security troop posted with me and he fell for the tower light calibration test.  I told him to count the rotations per minute and he called it in to the LED.  He also performed a line of sight check with an adjacent gate where he signalled with arm signals and flashlight (30 seconds flashing, 30 seconds solid).  Lastly he also heard the desk sgt tell me on the radio to initate checks at my location (which actually meant ID checks), he was told to don his protective equipment (flack vest, helmet, gas mask) and he did.  I was nice enough to allow him to stand inside the gateshack, but he volunteered to check IDs a while to give me a break.  Keep in mind we where wearing blues with full gate guard gear at the time.  This was all in the same night.  I almost feel bad about it.



Wow....I almost feel bad about it too......what a JEEP!!


.......If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough !!!

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