Off Duty Forums >> Police Family Life >> Looking for advice for Son turning 18... (Please BUMP to keep information coming.)

+1

Looking for advice for Son turning 18... (Please BUMP to keep information coming.)

5,074 Views
34 Replies Flag as inappropriate
Krispy_kreme_trooper_max50

59 posts

back to top

Posted over 6 years ago

 

I have a son turning 18 and I am gathering a few friends to speak to him about what it means to be an adult... So I ask my wise PL friends, "What advice could you have used when you turned 18?"

Wisconsin_football_max50

1477 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

EITHER GET YOUR BUTT IN THE MILITARY OR GET TO SCHOOL, NO MATTER WHAT! I tried to get into the miltary, but was declined for a couple reasons. I wish my parents would have encouraged me to get in school right away. I took a long and winding path into Law Enforcement, it was a struggle, and I wound up having to go to school at the age of 28, working full time and with 2 kids at home. It would have been a lot easier to get the education first.


"Show class, have pride, and display character. If you do, winning takes care of itself." - Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant

"America was not built on fear."

"America was built on courage, imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand. " - President Harry S. Truman

Krispy_kreme_trooper_max50

59 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

He's a GREAT son... Currently a 4.0 student and planning to go to College... He just enlisted into the National Guard and will ship to Basic Training and Technical School after graduation... Then will return and go to college full time... (The Guard has a tuition waiver program so his college will be free... They also will give him the Reserve GI Bill which when combined with his 2 day drill pay will net him close to $900 monthly for college.) So I guess he's planning to do both... But thanks...

Motor_cop_comic_max160_max50

2155 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Whatever you do, don't turn 18! Stay in high school...the real world sucks! That would have been a really big help!


"You can't lead from behind" Gen'l James Longstreet, CSA

Wisconsin_football_max50

1477 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

phinen said:

He's a GREAT son... Currently a 4.0 student and planning to go to College... He just enlisted into the National Guard and will ship to Basic Training and Technical School after graduation... Then will return and go to college full time... (The Guard has a tuition waiver program so his college will be free... They also will give him the Reserve GI Bill which when combined with his 2 day drill pay will net him close to $900 monthly for college.) So I guess he's planning to do both... But thanks...

I guess he's already ahead of the game....good for you and for him!


"Show class, have pride, and display character. If you do, winning takes care of itself." - Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant

"America was not built on fear."

"America was built on courage, imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand. " - President Harry S. Truman

Robertmitchum_max50

6467 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

I hate to say it but he should know that by now if ya raised him right.


For so long as one hundred men remain alive, we shall never under any conditions submit to the domination of the English. It is not for glory or riches or honours that we fight, but only for liberty, which no good man will consent to lose but with his life.

The Declaration of Arbroath, 1320

SCREW TIBET FREE SCOTLAND !!!!

Mmp_race_04

2948 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

I think I have always told my kids, the day they turn 18 is the day the responsibility for their decisions shifts directly to them, the day of accountability, so to speak.

They no longer 'need' a parent or guardian to sign anything for them. Now, their signature is as an adult and they have to realize they will be held accountable for what they sign and promise.

The next four years of his life will be significant in how the rest of his life goes. With education and military he is headed in the right direction, as long as he continues that path. Any diversion, such as an arrest for underage drinking or drugs, will hamper his ability to become a law enforcement officer when he reaches the age of 21.

I have a high school senior who graduates in just over a month. Wrestling with the same issues.

Good luck with your son, and Kudos to him for his life decisions thus far.

Mmp_race_04

2948 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

bad_LT said:

I hate to say it but he should know that by now if ya raised him right.

Sometimes it's just good to hear it from another adult. You know how dumb we parents are.... but if the kids hear the same damn thing from another adult, well that might carry some weight. My son says we are just 'too old fashioned', which is true and we plan to say that way, just like my parents and grandparents were and did.

Red_drum_max50

50 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

DAD YOU DONE ALL YOU CAN DO AND WHAT YOU DID WILL FOLLOW HIM. HOPEFULLY HE WILL MAKE ALL THE RIGHT DECISIONS AND PROBABLY STILL ASKED YOU ABOUT SOME THINGS. DON'T FEEL LEFT OUT JUST BE THERE WHEN HE NEEDS YOU AND LOVE HIM.

Krispy_kreme_trooper_max50

59 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

So I will tell you of the plan... His birthday I am going to take him to a park... The park has some trails through the hills and woods... We will start out walking and I will talk to him about his life thus far, and some of my life's thoughts with him... We will meet one of his mentors (One of his Boy Scout Leaders) on the trail, I will leave and he will continue the walk, passing him on to another mentor and so on through a church leader, a teacher, his two uncles, and ending with my uncle (My dad's brother) He will represent my Dad since my dad passed away...) By the time we are done, my Son will have been passed through about 5 or 6 men of influence in his life until the end of the trail where we will have a surprise party for him with all of his friends...

He will have just heard from the men in his life who he respects the most about life and being an adult... Just want to make it memorable and emphasize that it is a transition from his childhood to his adulthood...

Thanks to all for the thoughts... He is an excellent young man and he has done well with his life thus far... I am confident he will have a good successful life...

Gator_max50

5495 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

phinen said:

So I will tell you of the plan... His birthday I am going to take him to a park... The park has some trails through the hills and woods... We will start out walking and I will talk to him about his life thus far, and some of my life's thoughts with him... We will meet one of his mentors (One of his Boy Scout Leaders) on the trail, I will leave and he will continue the walk, passing him on to another mentor and so on through a church leader, a teacher, his two uncles, and ending with my uncle (My dad's brother) He will represent my Dad since my dad passed away...) By the time we are done, my Son will have been passed through about 5 or 6 men of influence in his life until the end of the trail where we will have a surprise party for him with all of his friends...

He will have just heard from the men in his life who he respects the most about life and being an adult... Just want to make it memorable and emphasize that it is a transition from his childhood to his adulthood...

Thanks to all for the thoughts... He is an excellent young man and he has done well with his life thus far... I am confident he will have a good successful life...

My oldest is 17 1/2 and I ain't real sure I'm gonna let him make it to 18, so congratulations on having a low maint. kid!

Me_new_haircut_bw_max50

107 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

KETOLACA said:

EITHER GET YOUR BUTT IN THE MILITARY OR GET TO SCHOOL, NO MATTER WHAT! I tried to get into the miltary, but was declined for a couple reasons. I wish my parents would have encouraged me to get in school right away. I took a long and winding path into Law Enforcement, it was a struggle, and I wound up having to go to school at the age of 28, working full time and with 2 kids at home. It would have been a lot easier to get the education first.

i second that..i did go to college but i didnt finish things out..i wish i did now..im 23 and ive got a 2 year old and between him and work and paying the bills im really finding it hard to get to where i want to be..right now i really want to pursue a career in law enforcement and im finding it pretty hard to get things started with things the way they are...that and i dont know really where to start..ive gotten a few tips and ideas though from these nice people on here which is much appreciated by the way..but if i had that education already it would really help..education is one of the most important things anyone could have.

Me_new_haircut_bw_max50

107 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

sgt457 said:

Whatever you do, don't turn 18! Stay in high school...the real world sucks! That would have been a really big help!

lol i sometimes wish i could have done that..just stay one age and then decide when i wanna move on lol

Dsc01102_max50

411 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Dont mess up your credit. Have fun, you're only young once, dont settle down with one person just yet.


Im Deputy Natalie J. and I approve this message !!!

Photobucket

Star_max160_max160_max50

5746 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Hire an attorney on retainer.....LOL and GOOD LUCK............


It is what it is.............and.........these things too shall pass.

Star_max160_max160_max50

5746 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

NatalieR429 said:

Dont mess up your credit. Have fun, you're only young once, dont settle down with one person just yet.

Don't settle down with one person................EVER....you hear me???


It is what it is.............and.........these things too shall pass.

Dsc01102_max50

411 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

too late klamm :( I should have taken my own advice a long time ago!!!

nah j/k I love my hubby.


Im Deputy Natalie J. and I approve this message !!!

Photobucket

-97 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Good luck to all those that have sons and daughters graduating from high school this year and starting out "IN THE
REAL WORLD". I too, have a son graduating this year, who is a great kid! But, I too sit on pins and needles waiting to
see which path he will take in life. I have tried to instill in him as much as I could about life in general. BUT SERIOUSLY
WHAT CAN YOU TELL AN 18 YEAR OLD- WHAT THEY THINK THEY ALREADY KNOW! I can only hope for the
best for him, be supportive in what I hope are going to be wise choices. Be there to listen, and if he should stumble
along the way, lend him some balance. MOM AND SON FOREVER!!!!!!!!

Star_max160_max160_max50

5746 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

NatalieR429 said:

too late klamm :( I should have taken my own advice a long time ago!!!

nah j/k I love my hubby.

I'm glad you love your hubby cause i'm NOT interested in him.....LOL


It is what it is.............and.........these things too shall pass.

Krispy_kreme_trooper_max50

59 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

911diva said:

Good luck to all those that have sons and daughters graduating from high school this year and starting out "IN THE
REAL WORLD". I too, have a son graduating this year, who is a great kid! But, I too sit on pins and needles waiting to
see which path he will take in life. I have tried to instill in him as much as I could about life in general. BUT SERIOUSLY
WHAT CAN YOU TELL AN 18 YEAR OLD- WHAT THEY THINK THEY ALREADY KNOW! I can only hope for the
best for him, be supportive in what I hope are going to be wise choices. Be there to listen, and if he should stumble
along the way, lend him some balance. MOM AND SON FOREVER!!!!!!!!

Oddly enough, he's very inquisitive and doesn't act like he knows it all... He is just an all around great young man... Last year I fell off a roof and broke my heel... He picked me up, carried me inside, and then out to the car and got me to the emergency room for treatment... Spent the next few weeks helping me as much as he could... He's always been that way... I just want to send him off on his birthday and make it something special and memorable...

Thanks to everyone for the comments...

2258123-2-after-the-battle_max50

241 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

I would tell him that the world is open to him, IF he is willing to work hard and do the right thing. There are no short cuts. As for a career, follow your dreams- but test those dreams against these criteria. First, is my career choice legal, moral and honorable? Will God and those who love me recognize that my career is honest work. Second, will my career choice allow me to support myself and everyone (wife and kids) and that I bring into my family. Avoid debt at all costs, just because your dad has a certain toy or standard of living doesn't mean you get to have an equal one right now- you have to work to obtain it. When you have sex, there is always the chance she will get pregnant. If you are not willing to raise a child, being a father and a daddy, don't have sex. Live your life by these rules- compare yourself to no one. You are responsible for your life, your relationships and your work. Others may take short cuts while they lie, cheat, steal and shirk responsibility. They may even appear to prosper and have it all. There will be bumps, highs and lows- through it all- remember that your Dad loves you and is always here to listen and offer guidence. Let God's holy word guide you. In an honorable life, there is joy, peace and rest.

Krispy_kreme_trooper_max50

59 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Great advice from everyone... Thanks! I will continue to check back for any additional comments...

Paul

Mmp_race_04

2948 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Lulusgt said:


phinen said:


So I will tell you of the plan... His birthday I am going to take him to a park... The park has some trails through the hills and woods... We will start out walking and I will talk to him about his life thus far, and some of my life's thoughts with him... We will meet one of his mentors (One of his Boy Scout Leaders) on the trail, I will leave and he will continue the walk, passing him on to another mentor and so on through a church leader, a teacher, his two uncles, and ending with my uncle (My dad's brother) He will represent my Dad since my dad passed away...) By the time we are done, my Son will have been passed through about 5 or 6 men of influence in his life until the end of the trail where we will have a surprise party for him with all of his friends...

He will have just heard from the men in his life who he respects the most about life and being an adult... Just want to make it memorable and emphasize that it is a transition from his childhood to his adulthood...

Thanks to all for the thoughts... He is an excellent young man and he has done well with his life thus far... I am confident he will have a good successful life...


My oldest is 17 1/2 and I ain't real sure I'm gonna let him make it to 18, so congratulations on having a low maint. kid!


Lu, could it be that he is your son? Sometimes the mirror image is hard to look at... :-)

Krispy_kreme_trooper_max50

59 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Lots of views, but not many comments... Please bump to keep information flowing...

Gold_star_max50

80 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

I have 6 children my oldest son is 21 and I say this only half joking. Impress apon him condom sense. in todays society there seems to be a growing trend of babies having babies. Sounds to me from your posts that you have done a great job and I admire your plans for his birthday.

Gold_star_max50

80 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Bump

N1202178746_305955_5462_max50

7594 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

We have one that just turned 18 and he understands that although he's legally an adult there are still rules of the house that will be respected. He is not going to come and go as he pleases because other people live here who need to sleep. He wont start throwing his constitutional rights around the house (i.e. freedom of speech, freedom of expression) he further understands that his remaining in this house is conditional on his following said rules. And yes he even still gets grounded.


Pain is weakness leaving the body.

Obstacles are what we see when we take our eyes off the goal.

Policelinkbadge_max160_max160_max50

1552 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

bump.

Supporteravatar_max50

397 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Bump

Photo_user_banned_big

338 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

KETOLACA says ...


EITHER GET YOUR BUTT IN THE MILITARY OR GET TO SCHOOL, NO MATTER WHAT! I tried to get into the miltary, but was declined for a couple reasons. I wish my parents would have encouraged me to get in school right away. I took a long and winding path into Law Enforcement, it was a struggle, and I wound up having to go to school at the age of 28, working full time and with 2 kids at home. It would have been a lot easier to get the education first.

Great advice KETO,same choice I gave my son on his 18th birthday. "Go to college, or serve your country, take your pick, but Im not going to let you loaf around until you figure it out. You'll be here till your 30 and still wont know what you want to do when you grow up!" That speech prompted him to go to a military college (Marion Military Inst.) so he showed me he could do both at one time. If ,as a parent, you stand back and let them make decisions without the benefit of real world experiences (what we as parents have) then they wont at least have the benefit of knowing what else exists out there in the real world. I wasnt going to enable him to take his time while life passed him by, he's better than that and he's proving that now.


Its a scary world out there (you LEO's know what Im saying) and you need to get a jump on it or it will devour you.

Next Page >