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SURVIVORS and LE

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M_0c0000af759ce3524bdbb5ac244af785_max50

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Posted almost 7 years ago

 

I was chatting with a survivor last night, and she was extremely bothered by something. After talking for about an hour, I discovered the problem and did some investigating. Have you ever noticed how the "Officer Down and Safety" threads get little attention, well after last night - I Did. It seems when a thread is started like "Are Cops Cheaters" there was 527 posts in 4 days resulting in 22 pages. Now I have to admit I responded to these threads as well, b/c I believe there is good information in the topic. The problems lies when the survivors of fallen officers feel the threads about officers killed are being ignored, or not responded to as frequently. Another great example, the thread started about "Is it the Uniform" had nine pages created in three days, where the thread "Officer Killed LOD" has one page and was created longer. I see numerous posts about "Do you think the Brotherhood is gone", and this could be a fine example of the growing problem. This did not seem to bother me as much as it's bothering other survivors. I spent fours hours this morning looking over "Playful" threads vs. "Officer Down" threads, and these survivors have a valid point. It's not only survivors but some officers have pointed out in threads "Where's the Support" and "Why is no one responding". To leave you with one last example "Officer Needs Assistance" got 8 postings in 28 days resulting in 1 page. Now the title "Voyeurism" got 7 pages in a 30 day period -
As the survivor of a fallen officer, I realize talking about death is extremely hard for LE, but these survivors also need to feel the support from departments. I hated to point this out, but I seemed to be the only one far enough in my emotional healing to write this. Thank you to all of those LEO's who do respond to the "Officer Down" or "Officer Needs Help" threads, you set a great example. Thanks for reading this.

Ltsh1_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Understood. And Deputy Rodgers will never be forgotten.

M_0c0000af759ce3524bdbb5ac244af785_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Thanks NYPD - I hope no one thinks I'm upset. I just took the stand and mentioned what others have been saying. I didn't really take notice until I went back and did some checking. I guess they were right. Thanks for responding!

M_ecdbc17245387b1b8aacef6197d23d4b_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Dana, I can't not respond to these threads....One of my partners and best friends was Killed in the Line of Duty a few years ago. Sorrow runs deep for our LE family, and it's hard if not impossible for some including myself, sometimes to respond when almost everyday we have lost another brother or sister across the headlines of this site....My heart goes out to the partners and family's for their hard work to keep their memories alive.

Shedevil2_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

remember , i can only speak for myself . i have cried so much for my fallen brothers and sisters and i carry them with me each day . le are a different breed , some of us see so much $h*t that we don't want to carry it around , that isn't to say that we have forgotten our fallen family , they are as much apart of us as the job itself and we hold them close to our hearts.............when timoshenko was killed a few weeks ago , i carried that with me over and over each shift and had i been on the streets instead of at the desk it would have been all the more difficult..........i've lost 3 brothers in one day and they and they're families are still with me , last year lost a sarge and a sister and they are still with me and they're families ........i choose to be light hearted at times because it is sometimes difficult to live in a constant state of wtf . we mourn for our fallen and they're never forgotten , but we must go on and live for those left behind...........


...don't play with me , i'll keep you way up after your bedtime.....

702928025505_0_alb_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Dana, I know for one I tend to write on the recent topics that pop up. I also think you are right about it being difficult for LEO to write about death to one of their own. It is easier to have carefree banter on the other more playful threads too. I will make it a point to be more diligent about finding these threads.

3734983337_1__max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

I have a question, where are the threads that show the cops that are alive doing a very well done job? where is the celerbrating of the ones still in the fight? I have worn the black band more times than i would want to remember and have seen first hand fallen brothers and sisters in this field. i do bow my head when it is the time.
but please point out the place where we go to celerbrate life of the hard working cops out here. even on cop web sites we see officers making mistake after mistake, we recieve scorn in every turn, if i fall out here i would like to know people appreciated the job that is done while im alive to hear it, it does me know good to know that if i fall my name will be on a wall. lets not forget the ones that are still here, do you know there names before they fall.

M_0c0000af759ce3524bdbb5ac244af785_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Adrenaline Junkie - I noticed you do respond to the threads and for that "Thank You". What some of the officers don't realize, is the survivors come online and read these, without responding. Then when they notice only a couple of postings compared to other threads, it can be heartbreaking. One of the biggest topics among survivors is "Why doesn't that COP, who knew me so well, stop and talk to me". You would be amazed the officers who just don't speak b/c they don't know what to say, and they to are hurting. The only problem is it sends the wrong message to survivors, and makes them feel alone, or as it they did something wrong. I tell survivors all the time "This isn't the case" and then I try and explain to them how hard it is for LE to talk about death, b/c it hits so close to home. I do however feel they should still speak and respond to threads. If survivors can talk about the death of a fallen officer, or officers needing help, then everyone should make an attempt. Goodness, I hate being the one to explain this stuff! I guess ten years allows you to put thoughts into words. Thanks Adrenaline Junkie for responding and most all for Supporting!

3734983337_1__max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

my fallen brothers and sisters are always on my mind.

M_0c0000af759ce3524bdbb5ac244af785_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

MSG115 - Thanks for responding to the "Retreat" thread, it meant alot.

M_0c0000af759ce3524bdbb5ac244af785_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

I want everyone to know that all the survivors know that LEO's always remember the fallen, and it weighs heavily on their mind. This thread is just in response to the internet. I know death hits close to home, and can be hard to talk about. Hey, I wish I never had to mention death, but I wasn't given that choice. Ten years later I still get choked up, and sometimes I think it would be easier to never talk about again, but I owe it to Joey to keep his memory alive.

702928025505_0_alb_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

I visit ODMP every single day. I give my respect in my prayers. I do have a really hard time verbalizing it in person and I am sorry for that. I guess it is yet another thing I have to work on to make myself an overall better person. Even though I think I am pretty good already. LOL

M_0c0000af759ce3524bdbb5ac244af785_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

MSG115 - You Go Girl - I think as women we should all think we're PERFECT. I'm sure some Men out there might disagree with us. LOL

702928025505_0_alb_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Perfection is so hard to maintain! Haaa

M_ecdbc17245387b1b8aacef6197d23d4b_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Is that like saying my wife made a perfect choice when she found me ?

M_0c0000af759ce3524bdbb5ac244af785_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Perfection is a little easier to get these days with the help of a Plastic Surgeon. Now if I can just get the courage up to go under the knife. Who says we all can't look like Cindy Crawford.

702928025505_0_alb_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Haaa Adrenaline Junkie, yes, you must be the perfect man or easy to control to the whims of your wife! LOL Remember168, Give me a break lady, I say your pictures. I don't think you need the knife.

Shedevil2_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Remember168 said:

I want everyone to know that all the survivors know that LEO's always remember the fallen, and it weighs heavily on their mind. This thread is just in response to the internet. I know death hits close to home, and can be hard to talk about. Hey, I wish I never had to mention death, but I wasn't given that choice. Ten years later I still get choked up, and sometimes I think it would be easier to never talk about again, but I owe it to Joey to keep his memory alive.

you are verbal and made a conscious effort to let us know who you are and for that i am thankful . many times i have gone to odmp and many times i wish i could have at least talked back and forth with my fallen brother / sister as i've done here. dana , you have given me a part of joey by coming here speaking of him . it is indeed difficult to speak sometimes and sometimes leos' just don't know what to say , but you can always see it in their eyes ............understandably there are no eyes here , but i hope that those that voiced their concerns with you know that we carry them with us always , and sometimes just a phone call from them will let us know it's okay to drop by or call..........i have been trying to reach the daughter of a fallen sister since may and haven't been able to contact her , it is just her outside of her mothers' family in n.c. and i know she is hurting . i've got to wait until she decides it is okay to let us back in . every one is different in how they grieve and some processes are longer to get through than others . i've got to realize that with her and i think we as the le that is left behind take the same approach............


...don't play with me , i'll keep you way up after your bedtime.....

M_0c0000af759ce3524bdbb5ac244af785_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Thanks for the compliment - I think you are also attractive. They say Blondes have more fun! I need to go get the hairdye out. O.K I'll wrap it up before the guys start getting thoughts about women and women. HEY Fella's we're just complimenting each other! LOL

M_ecdbc17245387b1b8aacef6197d23d4b_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

msg115 said:

Haaa Adrenaline Junkie, yes, you must be the perfect man or easy to control to the whims of your wife! LOL Remember168, Give me a break lady, I say your pictures. I don't think you need the knife.

I always get the last word in.....yes maam.

Th_plugman1_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

This means no disrespect to the fallen or their survivors, but you see all the posts on threads that maybe are not as importent, because we deal with all the bad, sad, worst of humanity on a daily bases. Like it has been said before LEO are a differant breed we don't like to show our emotions on are sleaves. We all feel a lose of a family memeber when we loose one of our own, but we don't all show it by putting it on a post. The fallen officer's would also feel the same way. Officers aren't going to go up to every survivor and give them a hug or talk to them, because it may be the stray that allows us to show our emotion and break down. Like msg115 said I go on ODMP on a daily bases, because I still learn from those officers that have fallen and I thank them for the sacrafices they made. Again I hope I didn't offend any survivors out there. Your loved ones are our loved ones as well and they are by all means not forgotten.

M_0c0000af759ce3524bdbb5ac244af785_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Classic Adrenaline. You have learned well!

1979_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

I try to post my condolences whenever we lose a brother or sister as I really feel we have lost a family member. Unfortunately it has happened all to often this year.

M_0c0000af759ce3524bdbb5ac244af785_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

SGT1202 - I think every officer is different. I have officers who still to this day, come up and give me big hugs. They have cried with me until 4am. They made me eat when I didn't care, and they came and told me it's getting dark, and you have to leave the cemetary. Now I know this was SOOOOO HARD for them, but they also knew Joey needed them to be there for me. I was alone, but I needed to know Joey's friends still cared. I can't tell you how much it means to a survivor to know they haven't lost the dept. but only their officer. Like I said before, I unlike many others, know how hard it is for LE's to talk about death. I need some more survivors on here so everyone can get different views. I appreciate everyone's input!

702928025505_0_alb_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Remember168 said:

Thanks for the compliment - I think you are also attractive. They say Blondes have more fun! I need to go get the hairdye out. O.K I'll wrap it up before the guys start getting thoughts about women and women. HEY Fella's we're just complimenting each other! LOL

LOL

063_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Dana, As you know, I am one of the first on line to honor our fallen Police Officers and their families. I go to the ODMP everyday and honor them. I mourn heavily for a fallen officer, and I mourn heavily for their survivors. Nothing breaks my heart more than knowing that the families have to go on without their loved one. I get especially upset when they leave behind young children or worse, an unborn child. And then worse, they have to keep reliving it through trials and appeals. It seems like they will never get closure. I see what you are saying in this post, and how the other survivors are feeling. But please take notice of one thing in the Officer Down and Officer safety threads. Though there are not the amount of comments the survivors are expecting to see, there are a very large amount of views of the threads. People here are reading the threads, however, they are not commenting. I don't know the answer as to why. Perhaps it's like AdrenalineJunkie said, he can't respond to these threads. I know how heartbroken I am over a LOD death as a civilian, I can't imagine how an officer who sees so much more than me feels.

M_0c0000af759ce3524bdbb5ac244af785_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Val - You bring up a good point. Maybe the survivors need to let the officers and depts. know it's o.k to come by and show support. I know so many times the depts. try and allow the survivors time to heal and time alone, but maybe we need to let them know when we're ready. Excellent Point!

M_0c0000af759ce3524bdbb5ac244af785_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

msg115 said:


Remember168 said:


Thanks for the compliment - I think you are also attractive. They say Blondes have more fun! I need to go get the hairdye out. O.K I'll wrap it up before the guys start getting thoughts about women and women. HEY Fella's we're just complimenting each other! LOL


LOL


You know the guys are chewing their nails off wanting to say something!

M_ecdbc17245387b1b8aacef6197d23d4b_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

I'm guilty.....Nature of the Beast.

M_0c0000af759ce3524bdbb5ac244af785_max50

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Adrenaline - You are honest - LOL

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