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Clinton jokes

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Meangreen01_max50

2482 posts

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Posted almost 7 years ago

 

I'll start it off...

It doesn't matter what party you belong to - this will bring a smile to your face. From a show on Canadian TV, there was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton.
'Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President. Number 1 - He played the sax. Number 2 - He smoked weed. Number 3 - He had his way with ugly white women. Even now? Look at him... his wife works, and he doesn't! And, he gets a check from the government every month. Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America 's shelves this week with ' Clinton Soup,' in honor of one of the nations' most distinguished men It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.
Chrysler Corporation i s adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.
When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, 'I don't know, I never had one.'
The Clinton revised judicial oath: 'I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know.'
Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between Bushes.'


"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." ~ George Orwell

"Honor First!"

MODERATOR #1 & PL Mentoring Team Member

Usmcdevildog_max50

602 posts

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Bump to the top.


"Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men and liked it never really care for anything else thereafter. You will meet them doing various other things with resolve, but their interest rarely holds because after the other thing ordinary life is as flat as the taste of wine after the taste buds have been burned off your tongue." Ernest Hemingway

Investigator_max50

746 posts

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Senator Clinton was on a plane to Texas and finds herself seated next to an older, weathered man in a western snap shirt, faded jeans and a cowboy hat. Thinking herself above the old cowboy, she decides to make sport of him.

“You know,” she says, “I’ve heard these flights go much more quickly if you strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger. So, let’s talk.”

The cowboy looks at her wryly and says, “Well I s’pose that’d be all right. What’d ya like to discuss?”

“Oh, I don’t know, “says Hillary with a hint of sarcasm, “How about Iraq?”

“Hmm,” says the cowboy, sensing Hillary’s attempt to belittle him, “That could be an interesting topic. But, let me ask you a question first ; horses, cows, and deer all eat the same stuff; grass. Yet, a deer passes little pellets, a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse makes muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?”

Dumbfounded, Senator Clinton’s replies, “I haven’t the slightest idea.”

“So tell me then,” says the cowboy with a smile, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss Iraq when you don’t know shit?”


Ne conjugare nobiscum.

Merda taurorum animas conturbit.

There's no "I" in team... But there's two in idiot.

Lambert_max50

435 posts

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

Please, I don't what to be on the computer all weekend.


Go practice falling down, I'll be there in a minute

Motor_cop_comic_max160_max50

2155 posts

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Rate This | Posted almost 7 years ago

 

President Clinton was about to board Air Firce One on his last week in office. He was returning to DC from a trip to Arkansas, where he had visited the University. He was carrying a razorback hog under each arm, a gift from the U of A, their mascot being the razorback hog. As he approached the Marine standing at the foot of the boarding stairs, Clinton asked "What do you think..I got them for Hillary and Chelsea?" The Marine replied, "Good trade, Sir!"


"You can't lead from behind" Gen'l James Longstreet, CSA