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Funny COP Stereo types

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Sabers_max50

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Posted over 6 years ago

 

Thought I needed to share this with the rest of the family...

Narcotics units:
Immediately grow facial hair, tell everybody you were ordered to.
Start watching every episode of Monster Garage.
Buy a biker wallet with a big chain.
Make every case involve overtime $$$.
Buy bunches of boats, RV's, and motorcycles with that overtime.
Learn to play golf drunk.

SWAT units:
Wear team T-shirts, Oakley sunglasses and boots everyday.
Try to fit the word breach in to every conversation.
Have a mirror handy to check hair, if you have hair.
Never say hello to anyone who is not an operator, just practice your SWAT head nod.
Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune and Muscle and Fitness.
Learn to play golf wearing a gun.

Community Service units:
Hate SWAT.
Work to make everybody love you.
Paint your office in pastel colors.
Think Feng Shui.
Subscribe to Psychology Today.
Learn to play miniature golf.

School Resource Officers:
Starbucks before work, show up on campus at 0800 hrs
Knows every coffee pot location on campus
Sits behind his desk pretending to work, but really surfing the net
Really hates kids but loves the hours
Only talks to the really hot teachers
Only works at night when there is a football game
Drives a golf cart all day on campus

Traffic units:
Write tickets to EVERYBODY.
Spend every weekend cleaning your bike and polishing boots.
Annoy everyone on the radio calling out your stops.
Talk about nothing but how many tickets you wrote in one day.
Ride by a building with big windows to see your reflection.
Golf is lame, motor rodeos are cool.

Administrative Units:
Three-hour lunches everyday, tell everybody it's a "meeting".
Upgrade department cell phone every month.
Tell everybody you are published in a national law enforcement magazine.
Update your revenge list on a weekly basis.
Golf Rules! Play lots of golf.

Patrol Units:
Have nerves of steel.
In a terminal state of nausea from department politics.
Inability to keep mouth shut.
Has defining tastes in alcohol.
Is respected by peers.
Beats the crap out of his caddy on any bogeyed shot

Investigators:
Come in at 0800
"Breakfast" from 0815 to 1030>
Work from 1030 to Noon to 1400 Work out and Lunch
1400-1700 Sit in CID and talk about how many girlfriends you have and how the wife doesn't know.
Help plan your next RV, fishing, motorcycle trip.

Patrol Sergeant:
Remembers very well "how we used to do it."
Always willing to tell his officers the above.
Tries to fit the word "liability" in to every sentence.
Talks about "what he's hearing from upstairs."

Trainee:
Unable to grow facial hair.
Watches every episode of Cops.
Worships the ground the SWAT guys walk on.
Arrives for work three hours early.
Thinks the sergeant is thrilled to see him.
Won't drink on the golf course because it violates the open container

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

VERY FUNNY AND OH SO TRUE!!!!!

100_0055_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

k9 units: are not very good with people skills, and love watchin the dog take a piss/shit during a scent descrimination. haha

mounted units: only work during events as crowd control, cleaning up after the horse every 15 minutes

bicycle patrol: your balls will be chaffed into the next century, and you make wierd faces from your butt being numb

3734983337_1__max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

sccsocadet1 said:

k9 units: are not very good with people skills, and love watchin the dog take a piss/shit during a scent descrimination. haha

mounted units: only work during events as crowd control, cleaning up after the horse every 15 minutes

bicycle patrol: your balls will be chaffed into the next century, and you make wierd faces from your butt being numb

mod squad" ALERT" !!

Th_plugman1_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

LMAO Those were good, but to close to home.

9-11-logo_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

What? No chaplain stereotypes?

I feel left out!

:-(

(Maybe I should count my lucky stars!)

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

wow.. i think someone in my office wrote this!...the ADMIN, and Ivestigations...are soooo right, and the patrol units are dead on when they say "inability to keep mouth shut" HAHAHAHa

1z6tp9w_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

LOL so true . that so funny

Dsc_25940001_pp_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

You could actually do combinations...Patrol/Traffic/Trainees for example. We actually have two guys who do "dueling traffic stops" every shift...

Photo_user_banned_big

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

I dont have a beard I Thank you. And my family uses the O/T money...:LOL

Sabers_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

pipdingle said:

k9 units: are not very good with people skills, and love watchin the dog take a piss/shit during a scent descrimination. haha

mounted units: only work during events as crowd control, cleaning up after the horse every 15 minutes

bicycle patrol: your balls will be chaffed into the next century, and you make wierd faces from your butt being numb

Outstanding!! hahaha, I'll have to add that to my list! no copyright infringements?? and don't forget on the Mounted unit, always holding/stroking their bowcan (spelling?) praying someone gets out of line so they can "wack" them...

Dispatch_tude_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

LMAO! True dat!

9-11-01_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big_dog_pd_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Marine Police, big hair 80's style, working on the perfect tan, BDU shortsand polo shorts, most times can forget they are cops and not closet voyeurs, dont ever get off the boat!

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

SWAT units: Wear team T-shirts, Oakley sunglasses and boots everyday. Try to fit the word breach in to every conversation. Have a mirror handy to check hair, if you have hair. Never say hello to anyone who is not an operator, just practice your SWAT head nod. Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune and Muscle and Fitness. Learn to play golf wearing a gun.

HEEEEEEEYYYYY !

I happen to like my team T-shirts ;)

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

True story: One of our operators got married and the wedding party (on his side) were all team members. Every one of us in the wedding party was wearing a shoulder holster under our tux.

Yes, I have the pictures to prove it ;)

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Patrol Units: Have nerves of steel. In a terminal state of nausea from department politics. Inability to keep mouth shut. Has defining tastes in alcohol. Is respected by peers. Beats the crap out of his caddy on any bogeyed shot. - YOU ARE AWESOME - SO VERY TRUE

Demo_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

what's wrong with golfing while armed, there's gators and snakes on the courses around here.........

Sabers_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

GTS197 said:

True story: One of our operators got married and the wedding party (on his side) were all team members. Every one of us in the wedding party was wearing a shoulder holster under our tux.

Yes, I have the pictures to prove it ;)

Thats why we love you GTS... hahahaha

Pm_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Thanks that was great.

Images_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

That's so true!!! All I need is the golf cart!!!!!!!!!!

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Great post!

Narc's: Immediately get ear pierced. Work the word "stats" or $$$ or "street dollars" into every conversation.

SWAT: Immediately cut hair to "basic training" standards. Add GEL to what's left.

Community Service: Have unending supply of freebies to hand out. Own kids are biggest advertisers of apparel for DARE.

Ninja_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

I'm a campus cadet.... we have four golf carts. :-) .... and yes the officers take advantage of them too...


"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. "
~George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), Man and Superman, Epis

Thi_seal_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

It is always fun to read the wisdom of others who have also seen "the elephant".


PL Mentoring Team Member

My day begins when yours ends.

Pd_patch_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

LOL that is funny but true

Motor_cop_comic_max160_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Traffic units: Write tickets to EVERYBODY. Spend every weekend cleaning your bike and polishing boots. Annoy everyone on the radio calling out your stops. Talk about nothing but how many tickets you wrote in one day. Ride by a building with big windows to see your reflection. Golf is lame, motor rodeos are cool.

Hey you forgot one: Gets off bike, removes helmet and checks to see that hair is not meesed up...hangs helmet on bike's mirror...

"Ride by a building with big windows to see your reflection".....my favorite part of the job! :)


"You can't lead from behind" Gen'l James Longstreet, CSA

P7220267_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

sgt457 said:

Traffic units: Write tickets to EVERYBODY. Spend every weekend cleaning your bike and polishing boots. Annoy everyone on the radio calling out your stops. Talk about nothing but how many tickets you wrote in one day. Ride by a building with big windows to see your reflection. Golf is lame, motor rodeos are cool.

Hey you forgot one: Gets off bike, removes helmet and checks to see that hair is not meesed up...hangs helmet on bike's mirror...

"Ride by a building with big windows to see your reflection".....my favorite part of the job! :)

What? No mention of Ponch? and overly tight pants...although, I kinda like that one!

Docolduniform_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Hey IButler226... Most of those are true... have you ever stereo typed a CO??? I'm curious to hear this one!


Don't forget... the toes you step on today might be attached to the ass you'll be kissing tomorrow!

Docolduniform_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

Heres some from the Corrections spectrum

Staff Nurse: Loves job, hates to perform it. Don't walk in office without a message from them in hand. Over paid, under-dressed

Air-lock Officer: "Welcome to Felon Central, how can I help you?"

Control Center Officers: Testing 1...2...3. Dial 0 for Operator. Don't touch my Fence! Living reminders to do your job & do it correctly.

Sgts, Lts, Cpts: Club Smoke shack... thinks golf carts are cool

Personel Staff: It'd better be important. Don't bother me, Don't wake me, Don't CALL me.

Office Support Assistant: Why am I here again?

Utility Officers: Professional BSer. Late night concrete warmer. Call me when you need me. Dude, Wheres my Sarge?

Roving patrol: Round & round & round I go... where I stop everyone knows!

Tower Officer: NRA member, profesional head hunter, knows every inch of his 12 x 12 brick house. Bull horn jockey.


Don't forget... the toes you step on today might be attached to the ass you'll be kissing tomorrow!

Pamfinal_max50

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Rate This | Posted over 6 years ago

 

That was great.....