Gear: "I Love A Cop: What Police Families Need to Know"


"I Love A Cop: What Police Families Need to Know"

Author: Ellen Kirshman; Publisher: The Guilford Press Available Here
Category: Book Reviews
Subcategory: Other
Price: $16.95
Average Rating:
(56 Votes)

Will police work change the person you love? Are police marriages destined to fail? What are the chances of your loved one being killed in the line of duty? Separating fact from myth, Dr. Ellen Kirschman answers these and other critical questionsin the first comprehensive self-help book created specifically for today''s police families. In information-filled chapters, readers will go behind the scenes with other police families as they discuss the benefits and pitfalls of police work;learn how to manage the effects of organizational stress and the pressures of unpredictable schedules, long hours and loneliness; gain awareness of the emotional, physical, and behavioral warning signs which can lead to such extreme situations as post traumatic stress, alcoholism, suicide and domestic violence; find out where families can go for help and counseling; and get an inside look at cop couples and the special challenges facing women, minorities, and gays and lesbians on the force. Can be found at the ODMP Shop:

Member Reviews

  • Meangreen01_max30
    AZmeangreen, Sun, 12 Aug 2007 11:03:23 UTC.
    1st review

    I was a cop before I was married. My new wife had difficulty adjusting to a new lifestyle. She didn't understand that being a cop isn't just a job, it's a way of life. "I Love A Cop" gave her insights into my life and personality that I had trouble explaining. Instead of arguing over long hours and the dangers of the job, she became more understanding and less confused. This book is not the answer to everything cop, but it gives a good insight to the spouse or friend who has no idea what their cop is going through or why that cop acts the way he/she does. This book covers most of the bases from starting out as a rookie, on-the-job stress, traumatic situation, emotional stresses, promotion, and marriage. It's a must have for the spouse in need of some understanding and answers.

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  • Copy_of_eduardo_074_max30
    ZECARIOCA2, Tue, 21 Aug 2007 14:52:15 UTC.

    I have that book and is really great information...not only for families, but for friends and officers themselves.

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  • Dscn1049_max30
    Rcbaron, Wed, 22 Aug 2007 08:28:37 UTC.

    Great book... Says the things that you can't to your partner.

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  • Photo_user_blank_big
    Anonymous, Thu, 23 Aug 2007 20:15:08 UTC.

    This book is still useful four years after it was given to me. It truly helped me understand my husband's job better and understand HIM better! A must for anyone that loves a cop..

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  • Bryce_max30
    bighead, Tue, 04 Sep 2007 07:52:24 UTC.

    This book is a must read for police officers and anyone who cares for a police officer. This book helps police officers, family members and loved ones of police officers understand the unique challenges of this line of work.

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  • P23-2_max30
    kevw25, Wed, 05 Sep 2007 04:43:28 UTC.

    I am going to head out to the book store and get a copy.

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  • L6okybhezoe7tu8xdrl3gbk-blgopvwd0060_max30
    fmwarmac, Wed, 05 Sep 2007 05:58:32 UTC.

    Every family member of a law enforcement officer should read this book!!

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  • Thi_seal_max30
    mpd_943, Wed, 05 Sep 2007 13:49:44 UTC.

    Great book. My finacee has read it and it provided her with some insight into what I do at work. It has helped her understand why it is a bad idea to drop bad news on me as I am walking out the door for work. It is a must read for an officer's significant other.

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  • 0930121924_max30
    Stalker975, Thu, 06 Sep 2007 01:32:38 UTC.

    I just got this book for my wife of 10yrs. I hope the book will give her some insight on my job. I tell her things about the job, and if she reads it as well she will see my point. I have been told that this book is great for all familys in Policework.

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  • Comic_cop_in_mirror_max30
    Wife2Crpl, Mon, 10 Sep 2007 06:44:40 UTC.

    I love this book.. i hate to read, its super hard for me to just sit and read.. i have 4 boys.. duh i know my profile says that, so i dont have time to sit and read a book.. unless it was this one!!! i recommend this book to everyone who ever loved or loves or plans to love a cop.. its a great read.. my husband has been a cop 8 plus years now, and i still learned tons from this book. the mood swings (mine and his) the shift work.. and the behind the scenes stuff.. it was great.. i swear every wife should be given this book on the day the husband enters academy!!! may save a lot of marriages.. luckily mine was never on the rocks... but it helped so much.. made me understand what he may be going though... GREAT READ!!! I would have gave it 10 stars!!!! and hey did i mention that I LOVED IT!!!!! and must have!!!!

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  • Tn_1__max30
    Rabbit122, Mon, 29 Oct 2007 15:34:56 UTC.

    Great book my wife liked reading it hell my mother in-law even read it and learned some things

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  • Robertmitchum_max30
    bad_LT, Mon, 29 Oct 2007 20:12:21 UTC.

    Each Officer who starts on my shift from the academy is given a copy to give to their family

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  • Dscn0338_max30
    JJcooksey, Fri, 16 Nov 2007 06:02:13 UTC.

    This is a great book if you love a police officer you need this book !!

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  • Police_1__sq90_1__max30
    ohcop, Sun, 18 Nov 2007 04:45:06 UTC.

    I read this book and left it on our coffee table and amazing my wife readit and understood why I act the way I do in certain situations... good book for friends and family to read

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  • Photo_user_blank_big
    Anonymous, Wed, 21 Nov 2007 17:46:11 UTC.

    My job destroyed my relationship... I was supposed to get married last month.

    Maybe I should have gotten this book! LOL

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  • Dcseal1_max30
    skygirl, Sun, 25 Nov 2007 12:08:09 UTC.

    A very good and down to earth read. When my daughter is old enough, I will give it to her so she will understand.

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  • Ncso_max30
    sgtbird, Thu, 20 Dec 2007 07:46:17 UTC.

    Great book, this was given to my wife as a gift from my department. After reading it I was amazed at how this job not only affects officers, but families as well. I thought I was reading about myself at times. It gives a good understanding of what to expect from a rookie all the way to seasoned veteran. A must read for all cops in my opinion.

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  • L_3d8729cb584c6d08a97440ef6c9bd1c1_max30
    SGTSRT, Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:09:27 UTC.

    wow sounds like a great book. i think i am going to go and get one for my wife

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  • S147900209_30053363_2421_max30
    staggers, Wed, 02 Jan 2008 03:51:22 UTC.

    I just got out of the academy and just got hired with a Sheriff's Department. I gave my girlfriend (who is seriously pushing for a ring) a copy of this book for Chrismas. She hasn't put it down and is constantly telling me how much she has learned from it. Being that she has no experience with law enforcement officers, I beleive this book is going to help keep our relationship strong.

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  • Photo_1__max30
    Gardner502, Sun, 20 Jan 2008 01:56:13 UTC.

    I love this book

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  • Clarke_photo_max30
    viperrob8, Sun, 20 Jan 2008 23:02:10 UTC.

    I bought this book for my wife to better understand what I go through at the detention center and sometimes the hospital. After reading it, she now supports me more that she did before. And trust me, she is the best supporter of all.

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  • Image_max30
    IDEALIST, Mon, 21 Jan 2008 00:18:32 UTC.

    gives great insight

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  • Bg16thumb_max30
    690, Sat, 08 Mar 2008 04:31:36 UTC.

    I liked some of the book but several sections had "scare tactics".

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  • Pipes_max30
    rhallpiper, Sun, 09 Mar 2008 08:02:35 UTC.

    I gave the book to my wife who read it. A couple of times when I have talked to her about work, she has said something along the lines of, "that book said..." It turns out that what she got from the book was the exact point I was trying to make. She certainly seems to have a better understanding of me now.

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  • Photo_user_blank_big
    Anonymous, Sun, 09 Mar 2008 08:15:18 UTC.

    I really enjoyed reading this book! Some of the things that I have gone through during my career(emotions, being moody) is well explained in this book. Believe me it is well worth it's weight in gold.

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  • Blueheart_max50_max30
    usedtobepolicepiper, Thu, 13 Mar 2008 20:43:36 UTC.

    It is a very good book. It helps the family as well as the co workers.

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  • Img_1288_max30
    rghstkcwby, Wed, 09 Apr 2008 02:32:39 UTC.

    i need to order a copy of this for my wife......

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  • Park3_max30
    LoveMyCop, Mon, 14 Apr 2008 06:14:47 UTC.

    I need to get a copy of this book! I support my husband in anything he does but I think it will be a good thing to see how other people deal with loving and supporting their cop

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  • Untitled_max30
    goodlight, Mon, 05 May 2008 16:16:39 UTC.

    I bought this for my wife and she seemed to really enjoy it.

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  • Policecross_max30
    Nae, Thu, 08 May 2008 12:44:52 UTC.

    This is a great book for anyone that loves a cop--but especially those who are in a close relationship with one. It offers excellent insight and comfort. Also good ideas for how to deal with the "tough days" and how to relate to those who wear the badge.

    Well worth the time it takes to read

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  • Grad2_max30
    Volunteer8717, Fri, 09 May 2008 14:17:10 UTC.

    It’s an indispensable resource for anyone who cares for an officer! I haven’t even finished yet and I have already gained a new perspective on the profession and how to approach relationships with LEOs. If you haven’t read it yet, GET IT!

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  • Star_max160_max160_max30
    klamm143, Wed, 14 May 2008 01:35:01 UTC.

    GOOD BOOK...not enough families read this type material.....

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  • 482179rk91dyr1ni_max30
    BlueEyedAngel, Wed, 28 May 2008 18:05:51 UTC.

    A must read for the family

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  • Tn_pins_spouse_pin1_max30
    AZmeangreensWife, Sun, 08 Jun 2008 13:55:51 UTC.

    Very good book. I've learned alot about my husband and how his job affects him. Its not the answer to everything in a cops life but it is a pretty good place to start.

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  • Photo_user_blank_big
    Anonymous, Wed, 18 Jun 2008 11:10:44 UTC.

    Well, duh! Self-explanatory. (Rolls eys.)

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  • Nhp_max30
    battleborncop, Sat, 21 Jun 2008 04:50:18 UTC.

    Bought it for my wife years ago. She said it was great. She says she has a better understanding. I'll take her word for it.

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  • Meinuniform_max30
    oden347, Mon, 15 Sep 2008 08:49:45 UTC.

    The divorce rate in law enforcement is 75% higher than in "regular" jobs. This book should be given to every person new to law enforcement, they should read understand what your handing to your loved ones...and the girlfriend, fiancee, wife, or boyfriend, fiancee and husband of every law enforcement professional should read this. I was a street cop, narcotics detective, went through 9/11 and specialize in peer/survivor support, this book could help to save your relationship, and you may be so involved with the job, you never knew your relationship was in trouble. If you work on a job that has two person patrol cars, you are spending more time four inches from someone who may be the opposite sex, than you spend in your home with your family. Combine that with the fact that you will experience (most likely) life and death situations with this partner, your mate at home needs to understand and needs the reassurance that this book will help provide.

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  • Photo_user_blank_big
    Anonymous, Mon, 22 Sep 2008 04:09:08 UTC.

    I have been in Law Enforcement for a long time after one failed marriage I was told about this book, I read it, after my second marriage I was going through an old footlocker found it my new wife refuses to read it, but I think it is a great read for the LEO and thier family.

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  • Academy_max30
    Sidhe, Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:19:20 UTC.

    I bought this for my husband and myself. Definitely much needed 'equipment' for any new officer or someone planning on going into law enforcement. It's not just for the OFFICER though, but very important for family to read through as well.

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  • Lee_pictures_414_max30
    eamalee, Tue, 23 Sep 2008 23:45:42 UTC.

    my mum don'get woried about me ..

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  • Cimg0847_max30
    cathyr1962, Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:28:53 UTC.

    Great Book!!

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  • Img_0182_max30
    Deaton443, Thu, 16 Oct 2008 00:59:14 UTC.

    Interesting read

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  • Avatar_max30
    Twidget, Fri, 24 Oct 2008 07:40:33 UTC.

    I am currently full time Military and a Reserve Officer with the local PD. I bought this book for my wife and read it myself. It is excellent. It really gave her insight into the types of situations we may have to deal with when I go full time LEO. Much of the material presented also applies to being in the Military, so it's info she can use right away.

    I highly recommend this book for anyone considering a career in LE. Buy it, read it, and make anyone that cares about you read it as well.

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  • Photo_user_blank_big
    Anonymous, Tue, 04 Nov 2008 14:51:31 UTC.

    Great book to read with your family and love one's.

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  • Photo_user_blank_big
    Anonymous, Tue, 02 Dec 2008 18:43:54 UTC.

    I have this book. Very good reading and makes one understand what is happening.

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  • Me_max30
    osupike18, Mon, 26 Jan 2009 22:27:57 UTC.

    I am currently reading this book and it is a great insight for me. I am currently applying for Oklahoma Highway Patrol so it is nice to see some of what is ahead in the new career. I plan on having my family and friends read it as well.

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  • K9_barry_8_max30
    sweet_T, Tue, 28 Apr 2009 07:57:37 UTC.


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  • Meand_j_max30
    cmr1973, Sun, 07 Jun 2009 00:11:07 UTC.

    wonderful husband bought this for me and i have read it several times

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  • 1a_max30
    badgeoflife, Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:57:13 UTC.

    A book that is valuable reading not only for the spouses of cops, but for the cops themselves. Chock full of good information and written by someone who had worked extensively with law enforcement.

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  • Dsc_2872_max30
    Punisher81, Thu, 27 Aug 2009 06:11:21 UTC.

    Great book.

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  • Photo_user_blank_big
    Anonymous, Thu, 27 Aug 2009 17:12:54 UTC.

    This book was given to me as a wedding gift from a close friend in LE. It clearly defines many areas that are hard to verbalize by our spouses, giving us an outline idea. There are parts that "don't fit" due to the differences in departments and demographics but it's easy to bypass or fill in the blanks of your personal situation. It's and easy read the way it's designed to go to certain issues that may arise. I keep it with my Bible and look up something when we hit a bump.

    Highly recomend this book to all who truly are in love and devoted to a lifetime together with an LEO. Would make a great engagement gift.

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  • Lone_ranger_max30
    twoliver, Wed, 09 Sep 2009 05:05:38 UTC.

    bought it for my wife a couple of years ago. she still has it and i still have her.

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  • M_8d6dd21c1acf3368ffbc584d9c941de8_max30
    Rob406, Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:10:33 UTC.

    i read it and loved it....also having my family read it as well!!

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  • Red_max30
    NTorres, Wed, 06 Oct 2010 22:04:44 UTC.

    I need this to help me with my Leo friends. Im going to go out and get this book real soon. I didnt know a book like this was around.

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  • Photo_user_banned_big
    sirengirl55, Tue, 26 Jul 2011 19:13:15 UTC.

    nice book.

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  • 192409-thumbnail_sq90_max30
    lanier38345, Sun, 25 Mar 2012 23:33:58 UTC.

    This tells all about the problems that faces in some marriages especially some officers have problems within their marriage.

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