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Ten Common Ways to NOT Get Hired

Ten Common Ways to NOT Get Hired

Sgt. Betsy Brantner Smith

You don’t really want to be a cop, do you? Fighting crime, saving lives, big guns, fast cars, a cool uniform, hot calls; that stuff’s not for you. The hours are long, the gratitude is short-lived, and there may occasionally be people trying to kill you when you’re just trying to make a living and do a little good. Take some advice from the front lines of police hiring and training, here’s ten way to make sure you do not get hired by any law enforcement agency.

10. That 20-page application they want you to fill out? Just consider that pesky document merely a guideline; they can’t possibly expect you to waste your time filling out every single box, blank, and question. Why would anyone really want a certified copy of your high school transcripts, an official duplicate of your birth certificate, and an accurate list of everywhere you’ve ever worked or lived.? Do they really need to know how to contact your grandparents, your old roommate and your college resident assistant? Just fill out what you can, you’ll have plenty of time to show them how organized and thorough you are once they bring you on board as one of their officers.

9. Don’t worry about your level of fitness. Police testing can take a long time; you may sit on an eligibility list for months, even years, before you begin the academy. So why worry about what kind of shape you’re in? Wait until you get confirmation that you’re about to start recruit training to get serious about working out, especially if you have youth on your side. You played high school football, you’re on a summer softball league, and you’re awesome at Wii boxing so you’ll get in shape in no time, right?

8. Always remember that you are owed a good police job. Don’t think that you have to work hard, prove yourself, or compete with anyone else; you are entitled to this opportunity. After all, how many people are willing to make the sacrifices you’ll have to make as a crimefighter: working shifts, facing down armed criminals, cutting your hair really short? They should feel fortunate that you’ve chosen to apply at their agency, and it’s that agency’s responsibility to make sure your career dreams are realized.

7. Make sure your social networking sites show what a fun-loving party animal you really are. The person doing your background check will certainly get a chuckle out of that picture of you passed out in front of your fraternity’s record-breaking beer can pyramid. And those racy boudoir portraits you had taken for your ex-boyfriend, the ones of you wearing nothing but a toy shoulder holster and a smile? I’m sure the chief of police will understand that it’s not your fault that your ex posted them on his My Space page after you guys broke up, complete with all of your contact information. Besides, the cops can’t actually access that stuff, can they? Can they!?

6. Why worry about your personal appearance? “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” isn’t that what your grandma always said? You’re applying to be a cop, not a Marine or a Wall Street broker. When you show up for the physical agility test, everyone is sure to love your Female Body Inspector t-shirt you bought in Cancun, or be impressed with those Victoria’s Secret PINK short shorts you just got at the mall. Besides, that scruffy Brad Pitt look or the high school Goth girl fashion statement may be just what they’re looking for in the Narcotics Unit of the agency you’re applying for.

5. Don’t bother to read anything more difficult or thought provoking than the latest issue of People magazine or your buddy’s fantasy football blog. Even though studies show that the number one predictor of success in the police academy is your level of reading comprehension, you did more than enough reading in school, and it was painfully boring then. Reading actual books interferes with your emailing, texting, Skyping, and keeping up with all that great reality TV. You’ll have no problem catching up once you’re in the academy.

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  • Photo_user_blank_big

    Anonymous

    almost 6 years ago

    Wow - a funny article. Might need to send a copy to my sis :)

  • Michelelellelellelellellelellellelleloellele_max50

    cmwillis

    almost 6 years ago

    2560 Comments

    eewwgghweee, I love it! Sounds like something you should do all the way around....lol

  • 2_max50

    Pcampbell1025

    almost 6 years ago

    76 Comments

    wow you do the oppsite right? jk but it did help me see the other side to all the crazyness to the police test and interviews.

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    wvanloon

    almost 6 years ago

    10 Comments

    Fantastic article. Spot on.

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    steve65

    almost 6 years ago

    2 Comments

    Your 1st impression is a lasting impression!!!

  • In_remembrance_of_oakland_pd_max50_max50_max50_max50_max50

    thebutlers

    almost 6 years ago

    42 Comments

    Hey I'm the best WII boxer! lol.....Nice article.

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    3_InTheHead

    almost 6 years ago

    2 Comments

    sonofan the army will take you

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    sonofman

    almost 6 years ago

    2 Comments

    if i have a criminal record can i still be a cop

  • L_e1f710ffc44049c0911cf23d2b83b4df_max50

    Yuki1986

    almost 6 years ago

    16 Comments

    i agree with pmanley on this makes me feel better.

  • 2971_max50

    JT1958

    almost 6 years ago

    68 Comments

    awesome!

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    Anonymous

    almost 6 years ago

    Reading this article makes me feel better.

  • Abys2_max50

    AuntieAbby03

    almost 6 years ago

    506 Comments

    great Article.!

  • Sunset_max50

    Joyful

    almost 6 years ago

    522 Comments

    I will say it again -- Excellent article!!! I have been preparing for the ultimate job in police work for over 4xxxx years. My FIRST desire is Street Patrol!! True I'm not really interested in corrections but I will work wherever my Major assigns me. Then I'll always ask to go back to patrol for that is where my heart is. Also this is where I will be able to find my kids -- the skipped over ones. The ones that no-one even usually thinks about -- except LEOs when it is already too late.
    Everyone that is thinking about applying should read this article. It is an excellent one. Thanks for posting it Sarge. It really applies to many different careers.

  • 023_max50

    kathykirk

    almost 6 years ago

    120 Comments

    Hey...wait a minute - I'm a type A personality. Should I call the major and tell him my personality will be a detriment to my future employment, therefore, I will not be attending the academy?.....Hmmmm

  • Sunset_max50

    motocross

    almost 6 years ago

    1372 Comments

    Great article

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